TATTOOS

Today I decided to have a tattoo. I am on holiday and working with my great friend finishing my film.  I have  been inspired by Men in Black Three, to have a huge one on my back. 
Last week I was told by editor of High 50, Tim Willis that it was common, that gave me another good reason to have one.  His site takes an intellectual view on this phenomena.   All the more exciting, to sit in a shop in Patong with some fun guys while my skin is pricked. 
Todays society is all about footballers and their wives, and being very very common. I have decided to join ranks and stand my ground for skin freedom. It is so much fun.  Who cares about removal, and only a few think about what is common nowadays. Oh, come one who cares what people think?. 

On another note High 50  are in touch with a  beauty guru who thinks "natural" is best.  I have been told just now that they are only holding a debate, for and against the upkeep of the human body. Most of my friends are all slowly slipping into dreary middle age, and are enjoying their wrinkles. I am on the side of Dr Sister who will be arguing for upkeep. The people against, clearly have not looked in the mirror recently.  I shall use Botox until my grave, have six facelifts at least, after all who really wants to see wrinkly hanging flesh?. No it should be tight I want everything tight.  Plus I am fed up of do gooders who know little about plastic surgery, being against it.  The book which I dare not give the title of is  full of supposed natural women who I know for a fact visit my good and dearest ex lover Dr Sebagh on a regular basis. Dr Sebagh wrote to me the other day and said he would not be debating as people who have not done Botox by 50 would be better to visit Lourdes and get a spiritual awakening. 

Back to a tattoo, it will look simply marvellous at those black tie dinners that I have to go to in London. I long for tut tut tuts,  from my former lovers, and I shall welcome them with wry smiles as I watch them disintegrate into  early graves. I do enjoy disapproval from people who live in the provinces.
Just watch what comes out of my pink birthday cake...
By the way I have more important things to think about like New York, which is only sixteen feet above sea level, and which will slowly be another Venice. My son is graduating on Sunday singing and  lives there. I am sending my friends on the East Coast love and support.
Also I am enjoying finishing my film.
Adieu, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen. 

Preview of Interview with Konstantin Korotkov

Richter-Britten 4 hands Schubert Fantasy F minor Part 4

GOLDEN FACED AND HAPPY

Lying on the beach at the Amanpuri is totally magical, it is empty and I am happy.  Despite missing my friends here, as I usually visit at Christmas, there is something wonderful about being the only one on this stretch of white sand.  I am in love with what I am doing.  I spent this evening with music and filming in Patong. 

LITTLE GIRL

My companion came into my room tonight and said he felt he could not remember a life before this trip.  Poor thing. I feel guilty and perhaps he should go back now while the going is good. He said he had never been with anybody so long except his ex wife.  We have work to do, so it would be a pity, but I understand.
Thailand is not so seedy at this time of year but just as much fun. There was a little girl, eighteen months old, sitting at one of the bars who had been taught to drink lemonade like a sailor, swigging it back she pocketed her tips into her pretend bra under her T shirt. 
I had my second golden face pack and brilliant facial at a shop called Hanako Tokyo in a huge shopping centre at Jungeceylon at shop 41.  Boris filmed me throughout playing with the wild and fun beautician in the shop which was totally full. We lay like surreal sardines where their pretty staff, wore masques  and made us beautiful. There are many beauty salons to choose from but I liked this one. They could not give me back youth but my skin looks divine. Well at least my friend told me it did.
I had a terrible four handed massage too so you have to be careful in the same shopping centre.  Heavy handed with no care and with women who were grandmothers.  Not so great massaged by people past their prime. There was something sordid about the whole thing.
Back at the Amanpuri Hotel Spa I had a spiritual awakening this morning when electricity from my hands sent me to sleep within in minutes during a meditation session followed by an incredible yoga lesson in the luxurious spa a far cry from musak and the bright pink lights of a busy shopping centre.

Hello Hollywood...

I am in the jungle in Northern Thailand having fed the elephants at 7am, a pretty organised fake jungle where the birds sing on time. The elephants bow to you as you pass, nothing is real, all works delicately in time to the human step. Breakfast on a pretty raft took me along the river where nature gently moved. Coffee and pineapple.  I am ready for the regime set out before me. I felt as if I were on a schedule at school, now time for elephants, now time to eat.

The same with the tour yesterday. Heaven forbid that I may see someone with red teeth and smoking opium. I begged to see real hill tribes, I felt I was on a film set. All organised and squeaky clean. Back in the car I asked for music and all they had was gentle well produced lounge and elevator musak. Good bye deadly insects and snakes, heaven knows what they have done with you?

Everybody is perfectly oleaginous and good looking, and looks like the old version of The Truman Show.  They all scream at me "Hello Hollywood" which was the best part. I am glad Los Angeles has rubbed off on me. Going to see the museum to see wicked ancient opium dealers.

THAILAND IS A CLEANED UP VERSION OF ITSELF

Bangkok was busy hot and full of noise. I ended up in a groovy recording studio helping a hit go live about girlfriends, lipstick and bubblegum with pretty adorable Thai girls produced by Simon Henderson.  After a dinner with Rolph Von Buren and his wife at the Four Seasons Hotel in Bangkok, who definitely have the most class on the planet, I felt in need of a little groove.  The river trip was busy too and nothing had changed.  
Yesterday I arrived in Chang Rai at the incredible Four Seasons Resort which you arrive by tail boat.  I felt truly and at last oriental. The bedroom is huge with views over the river that lies between Laos and Burma.  I fed bamboo shoots beautifully cut to some hungry elephants and had a delicious dinner in a tiny camping ground.  Today I went hunting for opium, but the days of Hill Tribes selling poppies seems to well in the past. Police are everywhere with check points. It is a cleaned up version looking like Elle Decoration. Everything matches and everything looks good. The Long Neck tribe looked too good. This tribe have perfect manners and are able to say, hello and good bye by the age of two years, with perfect makeup and hair.  I wanted to see the grandmothers breast feeding the babies, and the toddlers running around whilst they were high on the drug.  I have so many good memories of my previous trip that today was rather tame.  Anybody wanting to see the real thing has to go to Burma.

Placido Domingo in Pearl fishes

Dame Edith Sitwell, 1959 interview.

English lesson with Jeremy Irons

MARRAKECH

HAMMAM

Travelling leaves little time to write. I am however having fun as I am working.  There is nothing better. Marrakech had changed a lot. It is a huge rambling city now with too many people and the donkey is nearly a thing of the past, but thank goodness not quite. The day the animals are replaced by metal and fumes will be the end of the world.  I love the weaving streets of the medina. I love the djellaba hanging up for sale, the vegetables, the ornate shoes, beautifully painted leather, the butchers, the ancient faces. So many things in fact.  There is however a feeling that you are continually being robbed.  When I arrived back at the airport it took thirty minutes to do paperwork with Air Maroc, which would taken British Airways staff ten minutes. They feel that they are being deliberately inefficient when they are trying to be helpful. "Get over that and develop some patience" is a sentence I say to myself.  I went to look at "doors" yesterday, and I found some incredible entrances, and took some footage of some delightful hotels and Yves St Laurent's garden.
One hotel in particular was a stunning house in the Medina called La Sultana which was entirely romantic. Endless ravishingly sexy rooms with enticing decoration made for romantic liaisons.  Terraces, and a very pretty swimming pool and comfortable authentic hammam made me want to move from La Mamounia immediately. Although I loved the perfection of Jacques Garcia's decoration the rooms at the latter,  are not nearly as erotic as the Hotel Costes in Paris which I visited last night with my good friend Michel Klein. I have had so many good times there. 
Off to the rest of my journey for interesting footage for my film.

MARRAKECH MEMORIES

I have arrived in Marrakech and started visiting all my old haunts. Memory lane is a funny place to tread. I felt very emotional when I went round the Amanjena yesterday. There was a man playing some type of flute, it echoed into my heart and reminded me of my past there.  It has been open for thirteen years and it was my peaceful paradise in times of strife.  No people were ever there and it gave me time to think.  It has tall pale dusky pink walls and has a roman feel to it. Very beautiful in an austere type of way.  There were men walking around with hoods and long beige uniforms.  I then went into the square which  has not changed since 400 BC. Cripples, beggars, watermen, orange sellers, wisdom tellers, are on every street corner, and sit telling stories in this famous beautiful square. Women with hidden faces seem more covered up than ever.
Jacques Garcia has done an incredible job with La Mamounia.  Beautiful, warm  and cozy on this dreary day in October.  Flashes of my previous lives are wonderfully hidden here. I had a delicious dinner last night in the attractive restaurant in the garden..
I am finishing the documentary side of my film so will tell you more later.

A STYLISH WEEK END

Another night at the London Film Festival with the BFI, my favourite charity, for Jacques Audiard's brilliant new film called Rust and Bone. He previously directed The Beat My Heart Skipped and The Prophet. This time he said he wanted to direct a cutting-edge, gritty romance about love in adversity.  
Alexander Desplat's original music score had a new side, too. No sweeping scores but patched with a bang up-to-date sonic assault. Marion Cotillard was touchingly awkward and optimistic all at the same time. A difficult film undoubtedly, but it gives everybody hope.
I spent the day in central London which was so full of people that I wanted to hibernate. Actually I only like work. I went to Claridges for lunch and realised that the world is changing rapidly, but they did have huge sweet jars so everything became rosier. It was all slightly too twee and the menu too delicate for my rougher tastes. In any case I wanted to buy some riding clothes, so went to Harrods and found plenty of choice with style. I like wearing only dressage gear, it fits well and I hate the look of tweeds and the feel of scratchy fabric against my velvet skin.  

The jodpurs have even changed and now you can buy them with diamante along the waist and matching diamante halters for your horse. I looked quite dashing in jackets by KINGSLAND, a brand recommended by George Blodwell (and they sponsor my lovely friend Justin Resnick, a great horseman in Los Angeles). They give you fabulous syle on the back of the horse. I bought some zip-up Ariat boots, too (not in shot!). They look so funky, following the line of the calf instead of being straight, and immediately give you great legs.
I then moved swiftly on the show of Tim Noble and Sue Webster's on Walton Street, The Vinyl Factory, rowdy with never a dull moment.. Go get some work of theirs and educate yourselves. It hardly needs explaining but sort of goes with Jacques Audiard's work.

VIDAL SASSOON's MEMORIAL

Vidal Sassoon was incredible. There is no doubt about it. From the time he was born he was never put off  by adversity, and built up one of the most successful Hair Salons in the world.  From the mid 1960's he was at the forefront of his profession.  He was also socially aware and often helped people. He had a true love of Ronnie his wife, his sons, family and close friends. Today we celebrated his life in St Paul's Cathedral.  A cross religious affair with music suitable for both Protestants and Jews. A moving an exceptional experience. How things have changed since the turn of the century. 
I met Vidal several years ago, and adored his enthusiasm. He went swimming everyday and one story sums him up for me. He told me that he was lying in bed dying, when suddenly he thought about his life and how happy it made him, he smiled and at that point he sat up in bed and went home.
This was bravery.
He loved furniture, beautiful women, and creating a happy business.
Afterwards there was a huge lunch given in his honour at Hix's Restaurant where we sat and told stories. David Putnam, Zandra Rhodes, Jeremy Irons, Zaha Hadid and Tim Noble and Sue Webster, Michel and Ayako Comte were among the guests invited.

TIM NOBLE

SUE WEBSTER

MARK HIX

FRIEZE AND CO ARE STILL HOT

 London is incredible tonight,  I have twenty events and it is so overwhelming that I am going to stay in. I am in a spin, all this air kissing makes me feel very superficial. I shall miss the black jacket Chanel Party and a several others as there are just too many parties every week. Of course I love them but how can you do them all?

GED QUINN

Frieze, London's great art show was huge, and the Saatchi's are of course to be congratulated. They started it all. As the buzz grows every gallery seems to bursting with new collectors from every part of the world. The prices have gone up too of course. Luckily I did not fall in love, and lucky too that I have no more wall space. Selling my wonderful art studio in Paris, that once belonged to Tamara de Lempicka  means much of the art will be coming back to London. I did however like the Ged Quinn's as usual. Yummy pictures of cherry cakes in the style of old Dutch paintings. I first saw his work in Liverpool, and I like it more and more. 

LOVE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING 

Frieze Masters was the talk of the town though with people flying in from America to buy a Picasso or two.  So much glamour and so much celebrating. 
I managed to go to the opening of the London Film Festival and had the finest placement sitting between  Jeff Berger and Charles Layton who were interesting as they talked film and nonsense.  The BFI is an incredible organisation and the festival avant guard, I am going to most of the hot films this year.
There was also the incredible Steven Meisel photographic show that I was invited to by Belle Cannon. I fell in love with photographs of Naomi Campbell.  My happiest moment though was eating an apple in the bedroom with Kay Saatchi who I found tucked up in bed when I got home.  She had been to thirty shows.

FREE THE DOVES TO GET LOVE

Today I continued filming. I had fun with a heart, some doves and a dishy man. This was all before midday.

AMO AMAS AMANDA OFFICIAL TRAILER

CATS AND DOGS ARE OUT: LONDON IS NEVER DULL AND IN A NIGHT I SAW MOST OF MY FRIENDS

London is  a whirlwind.  Never a dull moment. I long for bed and peace and yet I have a full house. Luckily I have some of my greatest friends staying. Roseanne de Pampelone and Kay Saatchi who have just dropped in for Frieze. The artworld is busy.  So changed from the early days.  Dogs and Cats are out.  It seems everybody is a collector.  All thanks to Charles Saatchi and his gang who have promoted the world.

TIM NOBLE AND SUE WEBSTER SHADOWS OF THEMSELVES

Fashion is still fabulous and last night I dropped in to Roger Vivier and snapped up a stunning simple black patent belt.  All the glamorous were there, Livia Firth, Jeanne Marine, Allegra and Angelica Hicks and the wonderful Allegra Donne.  I want to wear the simple with a twist style. The shoes and belts are stunning and make you look stylish.
I then went to my favourite artists Tim Noble and Sue Webster who in a way are like family.  They used to stay with me every year in The South of France, and without them it would not have been the same. They were also incredibly generous helping me to do my Art book, British Artists At Work. I consider them to be true friends.  I also love their work. It speaks for itself.  All the fashionable artists were there, and loads of people lined the streets at Blain southern's new gallery in Hanover Square. It was so chic.  Huge spaces newly designed did justice to their work. I loved the shadow of the Artists against the wall and a huge neon sign saying Forever. Indeed it is.

JOANA VASCONCELOS

I had to rush as I had been asked to Joana Vasconcelos's show at the Haunch of Venison. Again in new offices on New Bond Street. She celebrated the Queen's Jubilee saying she was the greatest living monarch creating a huge crazy playground of colour, crowns, toys and snakes.  A dream for any child, Last year I bought a piece from her.
Lastly I went to the strangest party of all at The Ritz, where fifty or so Middle Eastern gentlemen sat with dyed black hair for the Aston Martin party. Nobody English was there except High50's Tim Willis who looked totally out of place in the 1950's gambling hall full of Sheiks and Indians with turbans. I suppose they are the only people who can afford the car.
We then had a quick dinner at the Wolsey thanks to the generosity of Kay Saatchi, who feels truly like my Mummy.

I LOVE JOE WRIGHT's VERSION OF ANNA KARENINA

I was luckily taken to see Joe Wright's new film  "Anna Karenina" by Tolstoy, which was quite outstanding.  Of course I had seen the other film versions too, but this time the screen play is written by the brilliant Tom Stoppard. I am in love with the book, how could I not be? At the time it was considered to be flawless when it was written in instalments for the Russian Messenger. I feel female comradeship with her although I luckily live in another time.  I am in tune with the heroine. Anna is so wanting to be able to live her life, without society treating her like a whore and ostracising  her. and such a pity she was not brave enough to have lived.  Joe Wright's version is set in the theatre and it is beautiful, truly beautiful.  Kiera Knightley will be nominated for a BAFTA, surely?  Her portrayal was quite wonderful, concentrated, well thought out, and the mania and passion addictive. Her truly stunning appearance only added to the startling performance.  Joe Wright said last night that he like stylised pieces, like a ballet. He is bored of naturalism, and I do not blame him. I hate it too. He directed the film with unusual panache seriously he pulled it off. Of course as a Leo Rat nobody else could touch him for style and with the brilliant Sarah Greenwood he couldn't go wrong.

SUNGLASSES ARE MY BURKA

I love sunglasses. I especially adore my Alexander Wang black ones,  the first pair was stolen within five minutes of owning at a Genlux magazine, launch party. I bought them at Maxfields in Los Angeles. I put them down for a second and whoops they were stolen. This shows you how popular they are. I wear them so I can hide behind them, like a burka.  Sunglasses are in fact a European burka.
I do not want men to talk to me unless I talk to them. I started to wear them because when I did not, I was constantly talked to. I also liked them because nobody can truly know what I am thinking.  I sometimes like to be inscrutable.
I am fussy and love only a few pairs. They have to be comfortable too.  Not give me headaches or trouble and they must not be breakable as they live in my handbag which contains a camera, makeup and keys. I often just like to be discreet and hide away.

SUNGLASSES BY YSL

GLASSES BY CHANEL

GLASSES BY PRADA

GLASSES BY ALEXANDER WANG

THE BIRTH OF A DOCUMENTARY

AMANDA DOING THE TANGO

Last night was spent watching my edit of my film Amo Amas Amanda which has been so much fun. Thinking about ideas on this surrealistic piece I did many years ago, and the play I did last year with Lyall Watson and John Alan Simon, As I like it.  I came across all the videos of old footage so much of it funny that I am using it too.  It is really interesting to do a patchwork of my life. Not so much because it is the best life but because everybody's life is interesting. 
I live part time in Los Angeles and so I have just done mine to learn the business of making films.  I also did it to direct my first film. I owe a lot to Roby Meola the second editor, to Frederick Anderson,Alex Webster, Jack English, Tomas Auksas, Liam Rabik, Hector Abaunza, and of course Justine Glenton, Charles Eliasch and Giulia Laudano the actors.   THANK YOU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuqozJ_gYeQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-ZJpKt3AME

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQG7ib7Yv6U

I have used nearly everything I found. Amongst footage were images from Venice, Birthday wishes from Artists and my friend Belinda Carlisle. At the time they are not interesting but later they make me think how lucky I am.
The film is an art piece 75 minutes long including  .I am so happy with everybody's dedication and artistic abilities that I am sure it will be a success. It tells the life of me growing up in the country in Wiltshire and the excitement that I had to try everything.  

HELP APRIL JONES'S FAMILY: I HAD A FLASH THIS MORNING ABOUT A FOX

Please can you help APRIL JONES's family...
I have had a flash this morning that has not gone away. It could mean something and it might not.  I saw her in a waking dream with a fox, a huge fox.  Have they checked simply because of time by the dustbins.. Fox's are lovers of dustbins.  Is there somebody called Mr Fox, or Fox Street.  I do not know what this means with this little girl. It is totally terrible. Why are parents leaving their children outside without parental care. This sort of thing always happens in my experience on the door step. 

TWO PEOPLE WHO DESERVE THE WORDS INSPIRATIONAL AND INTELLECTUAL Anita Zabludowicz and Boris Scala. I love talent and I love hard work.

ACTUALLY IT WENT RIGHT

Inspirational and intellectual are over used words. However, yesterday I was impressed, and so I shall use them. 

ANITA ZABLUDOWICZ

I went to the Zabludowicz's house in the smartest street on Hampstead Heath. The houses are so grand that you think you are almost, but not quite in the country.  There was a lunch to celebrate the artist Richard Sides. Other young artists, in this huge contemporary house,  were talking about the incredible opportunity they had been given by Anita Zabludowicz and her husband.  Without ego, these new artists sincerely said it was the number one gallery to show their work. With a relatively small amount of money they felt that they were able to turn their artwork into gold and create their dreams.  It was compelling listening to them. With only one week until Frieze it was great to have a private view.
Anita and her husband started in 1993, and now have opened a gallery and have a staff of ten.  She deserves praise. There is something special about the collection. She said today she loved every piece she had ever bought.  As I looked around the house there were hundreds of unusual pieces by artists that were unfamiliar to me.  It reminded me of the good old days of Boundary Road and the Saatchi collection.

The second incredible moment was when I came home I heard the music for my film. Music is the thing that opens my heart. Almost anybody who can play or compose have, I believe, magical gifts from God.  They are in direct line to any throne.  a tongue and cheek documentary/drama about my life, that I have directed. I cannot wait to see the edit and exchange ideas.

Vidéo AD Intérieurs 2012 - Voyages Imaginaires with my greatest friend Roseanne de Pampelonne, who did my house Maison du Cap, Eddie Barclay's house in the South of France

Hitchcock Shadow of a Doubt Dinner Scene

ORIGINAL AND NOT FAKE

I don't care what people think, because all they are trying to do is to change my thoughts to theirs. As they are thoughtless I could end up with an empty head. I have decided to only consider my thoughts because I like original and not fake. This week I have had an interesting job of slimming my address book down. Why have people in it that are energy vampires, who wolf down your blood with nothing in return?. Never a good turn goes unpunished. I will also acknowledge those that truly go out of their way for me and put them onto a magnificent pedestal.  They know who they are and they deserve it.  
When people tell me lies it is to accommodate their needs and not mine. It is not a good feeling.
Tell lies by all means but don't assume others have not got a good memory. Not everybody is going to be sucked in by your bullshit. If you tell yourself lies you are heading towards a padded room.

I AM ALWAYS GOING TO BE ANGRY ABOUT BELIEFS THAT ARE NEAR TO MY HEART

I LOVE HEDI SLIMANE FOR YVES SAINT LAURENT there are a few others too.

The long awaited collection for Yves Saint Laurent arrived. I am a fan from the comfort of my beautiful bedroom in Cheyne Walk, Fuck the taxi's, the crowds, the moaning in Paris, I adore the collection. Modern, simple and just the way I like.  It was right up to the minute chic. I want the 1970's hippy hats and black sharp suits, white shirts and black ties with a clean modern twist that I love from the brilliant designer Hedi Slimane.

Yes I will wear you, yes I will have to not eat until next summer but your collection is terrific. Not so much new but so very now.

OLYMPIA LE TAN YOU DESERVE A VIEWING I LOVE YOUR CHEEK

ALEXANDER MCQUEEN STILL WINS FIRST PRIZE FOR THE GENIUS OF SARAH BURTON
creating a film about summer, bees with beautiful scenery to show her sharp tailoring.
Lee would be pleased. I smell the honey, sorry money. I can hear Conny ringing me up from the Bond Street store now saying "Amanda get round here today, or shall I send you everything?"

YOU STOLE PARIS

YOU LOOK HOT MADAM

FREDERICO BELTRAN MASSES at the STAIR SAINTY GALLERY

I am looking forward to Frederico Beltran-Masses's opening tonight.  He is famous for doing seductive paintings of beautiful women. Sultry Spanish with black net, promising death, beautiful widows. He reminds me of Francis Picabia, a French socialite,  they have the same sensibility. Frederico's  father was a Spanish General stationed in Cuba, so although Spanish Frederico was born there. I went to the huge exhibition of Picabia's in Paris several years ago with the wonderful artist Martin Maloney, who was at the time, was directing my project with Franca Sozzani, on British Artists at Work with Assouline. I learnt so much about artists during this time and am grateful to all of those who expanded my education.  I loved Picabia and I hope I will love Beltran-Masses tonight at the  Stair Sainty Gallery, Blue Nights and Libertine Legends. Beltran-Masses had a wonderfully interesting life painting. When his painting was turned down in 1915 at the major salon in Spain he moved to Paris.

THIS PAINTING WAS THOUGHT TOO DARING FOR SPAIN AND SO BELTRAN MASSES MOVED TO Paris.

Illamasqua Generation Q Collection

Illamasqua Generation Q Collection

SWITCH THE LIGHT TO HAPPY, PLAY THE VICTIM AND YOU LOSE

On this beautiful day, I am looking out to the River Thames and the light is glorious. I have less time for girlfriends nowadays, that always play the victim and think their  problems are greater than anybody else's?  I do not want to be thought of as a victim. I like the idea of bravery and valour and prefer people who take responsibility for their actions. There is something very unattractive about women who have everything, who think they have nothing, in their fifties.  They should think before they trample on your feelings and thoughts of others, perhaps they should remember what they have done?.  I no longer need a friend who ever so slightly bad mouths me, while I try and improve my life and improve the lives of others?.  In fact I love to help others. I have little patience for people that continually grab approval and attention but live off the 'poor me syndrome'.  You do not need 'things' to feel good about yourself.  I love a drama queen but it has to be an amusing one.  As we know, nobody is better than anyone else and time marches quickly on some people find it easier to find happiness and positivity than others. We are all trying to get through.  Happiness is easily found within us and you just have to choose to turn it on.    My son said that the reason I had luck as I always imagine it and I bring it to me.  I think it is the only way forward.  He said that I even wore the clothes because clothes I believe bring me luck too. I remove anything that seems to not want that for me.  Computers, walking in the park, smelling flowers, laughing. Anybody who makes me laugh can be forgiven.  Those people are delightful petals of the universe and should be nourished.    If we plant seeds for misery then we get it.  I remember these fine words from Raja Yoga. I had a brief session with Gizi and wonderful guru who said we should all watch where we plant our seeds and what we do with them.