Saturday, 30 July 2011

Mallorca in the rain

Should I buy a house here, the light is incredible. The mountain air incredible.

Les Liaisons Dangereuses - Alan Rickman - 1987 Tony Awards

Shakespeare Sonnet 116 Video poem

John Field- Nocturne no. 10 E Minor Adagio

EATEN INSIDE

My pain is only
momentary
I hope
I boast it will
go away?
I feel as if I am being
eaten from inside
by a hungry
beautiful creature
In agony I shall
hopefully die
soon
because that would
be the honour
I could give myself
I shall never
touch another
person
again or be touched
by them
I will have
another life
if I am lucky
but I will never again
be manipulated


Thursday, 28 July 2011

FORGOTTEN AND LOST

I felt things were wrong
for weeks
wrong and upside down
another's cruelty
passed onto me
dealt and lashed
against my will
lost in a soup of tears
down the merry hole of 
life
down gobbled up 
in a bubble of
hope 
it will always
be close to my
soul
hidden in knitted
webs
of close encounters
that are meant to 
mean nothing
yet mean everything
I grabbed at straws
but was forgotten in
a sea
of buried pain. 

Beautiful Nocturne by John Field - Classical Wedding Music performed by ...

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

SWING ALONG TO THE SOUTH BANK CENTRE THIS WEEK END

The South Bank Centre by Sir Denys Lasdun is one of my favourite places in London and this weekend they are turning it back in time for a truly vintage week end.  For those fascinated with the past it is a must. Hemingway Design are busy creating sixty years ago. You will be able to dance, swing, jive, laugh and eat well.  This area of London is always busy. The Festival Hall, The British Film Insititute, The Haywood Gallery will all be open to the sound of the beat.  Go and see Tracey Emin's show which is still open.  Go and have your hair and make up done and become a pocket old time movie star.
The good thing about the complex is that you can find something for everyone.  This and the Barbican Centre are some of my favourite places in London.

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

HARLEY RIKER OF CHROME ANGELS STILL HAS NOT PAID AMANDA ELIASCH BACK OR KEPT TO HIS WORD

I SUPPOSE HARLEY RIKER THINKS I HAVE FORGOTTEN.. I HAVE NOT.. HIS WORD IS NOT HIS BOND, AND STILL OWES ME 5,000 DOLLARS


You have to have a good sense of humour when you decide to move to a new city.  There is nothing wrong with Los Angeles, only wrong with my radar system when I arrived, and the fact that I genuinely like most people, that is until I am fed up. 
Today my friend Jack the Sad went to look for my friend Harley, who disappeared with five thousand dollars of mine.  Harley was meant to put a new engine into my car, my new broom broom car is a little slow.  So off Jack went first thing this morning to the back end of beyond to some dodgy estate off  Ventura, Los Angeles, California  to the offenders warehouse.  Jack said it was a cross between Pulp Fiction and Only Fools and Horses. On arrival there was a dog on a leash growling and trying to bite his ankles, a woman who said she had been locked in her house and was waiting to be released, her name was Marlene or Marth, who cares? . All the windows were covered with steel, and at the back entrance there was a huge sign saying "Fuck Off.  So charming. The woman waiting to be let out sounded simple and ridiculous, personally I think the man himself was inside cowering in some corner. Yeh yeh yeh, hey hey the monkeys.  Two six foot six, twenty two stone men with tattoos on their neck turned up in a pick up truck with silver teeth wanting to find the great man too. So much for honour and coolness.
I said what about my five thousand  dollars?- Jack said "It's madness there"   I rang Harley's office and the  timid, dull woman answered.  Why she assumed it was okay for Harley to run off with my cash is remarkable in itself. There has been now nine months of ridiculous excuses, ranging from hospital to the inability to look after his finances. The last time we spoke he said "Can you send me another three thousand dollars as I need to sell a car in order to do the engine" when I said no, I told him he could pay me back in candles, only he was nowhere to be found.  Basically the great puffed up man with tattoos stole the cash.  I should have known better... as for the  whimpering locked up woman... poof poof I am coming to get some candles...boom boom. Watch out for Batman and Robin.  If I wanted to give five thousand dollars away there are a lot of trees needed on this about to fall apart planet.
Oh I forgot to say, Harley Riker said to me "You don't need the five thousand dollars, why are you going on about it?"

Monday, 25 July 2011

The Murder of Jean Seberg Trailer

THERE ARE ALWAYS MORE VOLUNTEERS TO KNOCK YOU DOWN THAN HELP YOU

AS I LIKE IT PHOTOGRAPHS. BY AMANDA ELIASCH and LYALL WATSON, with Justine Glenton, Charles Eliasch, Susan Parkes.

FROST MAGAZINE REVIEW, AS I LIKE IT, BY AMANDA ELIASCH and LYALL WATSON

AMANDA ELIASCH LOVED CARTIER POLO

Saturday night at the Chelsea Arts club was fun with the artist Sasha Newley, Joan Collin's son. Dishy and now free he had us all laughing. I bought a painting from him last year.  The beating of St Anthony.  It has elves coming out of trees all up to no good.  Semi erotic semi horrific, it always gets a comment, from anybody who see it.  Sasha has the sort of wit I like to hang out with.  Carolyn Quartermaine was also with us and the architect Ken Armstrong.  Carolyn I have long admired.  I used to collect her fabric by the yard covering anything I could with her delicious creations.
Yesterday I went to the Cartier Polo in a beautiful marquis, white with red rope, so chic. stunning flowers. I am a person who usually likes to go for one house and leave but this time I braved the whole day and had the best time.   The flowers by John Carters stole the show. White and green lavishly covered the whole table. I took my new friend Ken, and sat with Melissa Knatchbull and her pretty daughter Kelly, she has just finished her script.  Poppy and Chloe Delevigne were there looking pretty, I was laughing with Richard Dennen who was sporting a mallen streak and Cristal Brinkley who gives us all hope to look stunning.  She at nearly sixty proves that with work and a positive attitude all needn't fall apart.

Saturday, 23 July 2011

Amy Winehouse - Rehab

GOOD BYE AMY WINEHOUSE BY AMANDA ELIASCH

Some news is truly sad.  My heart goes out to the poor parents of the murdered Norwegian children today. Then the almost inevitable news that Amy Winehouse has died from a drug overdose.
All deaths are tragic.  There was something magical about Amy's voice and luckily a year ago I bought a painting by Gerald Laing which immortalises her. A picture showing her glamour as she hoovers the floor with a cigarette in her mouth. The drug culture stinks.

HELLO MAGAZINE, AS I LIKE IT


VOTED BEST PLAY IN JULY, AS I LIKE IT BY LYALL WATSON AND AMANDA ELIASCH

Marie Antoinette tribute (concerto in G)

David Icke-Brilliant Speech

Carl Bernstein on Rupert Murdoch

RUPERT MURDOCH BBC FOOTAGE on ADAM CURTIS's BRILLIANT BLOG

Friday, 22 July 2011

LIFE IS LOVELY AND THERE IS ROOM FOR EVERYBODY AMANDA ELIASCH

 
We are all held back by our fear of failure. Some people hold us back however because they are frightened of other peoples success. It highlights they may have missed their opportunity, and it proves that if they had the courage of their convictions, they would have succeeded. I would rather go down in flames than wondering what might have been.  When I do something I see it through to the end, and I would rather fail than not do it.  Therefore I don't fail.  I am not frightened and I feel there is room for everybody.  More people fear the embarrassment of failure than anything else.
I have to do what I have passion for. When you have passion energy comes from a mystical source. You have to find what you like to love and turn it into something.
I notice with my sons that they take their courage in their hands, making it happen. When I was young I was too frightened. What of, believe it or not, the word No!.  No is not powerful and yes is much more so.  In any case all you need is to just believe in yourself and do it.
I watch my sons and they never stop working.  Either they are dreaming or formulating what they want,  and then they make it happen. So I have started to copy them.

HUFFINGTON POST

Artistic Appreciation: Lucian Freud

GENLUX MAGAZINE, AMANDA ELIASCH'S FASHION PICKS FOR SUMMER

Thursday, 21 July 2011

LUCIAN FREUD's LAST PARTY GIVEN BY NICKY HASLAM AT AMANDA ELIASCH's HOUSE

I am truly happy that my lovely friend Nicky Haslam introduced me to Lucian Freud. Nicky decided to give him a birthday party in my house in Cheyne Walk, the last birthday of his life.  I was duly sent an invitation and replied of course yes.  The party was wonderful, Lucian was surrounded by family and close friends. Kate Moss came, Nicky sang all night, sometimes with Kate Moss. It was an incredible evening and may be the best in my life. It was certainly up there. Lucian looked truly happy, good looking and well.  I am happy he came to this house.  The greatest 20th/21st Century artist.  Of course I loved his work, his brush stroke, the intense looks of his sitters.  May your spirit live on and thank you Nicky Haslam for doing this wonderful evening for him.

WORDPRESS MELT DOWN, NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING BY AMANDA ELIASCH



What does a woman do when she is digitally attacked? Are there any legal avenues to protect yourself?. How can you remove the nuisance part of somebody without making situation any more volatile?.
Yesterday a girlfriend tried to protect me posting comments when somebody was horrible via Wordpress. com.   Luckily she sent me her exact wording from her screen showing her comment was waiting moderation. Once it had been moderated it bore no resemblance to the original.  This is illegal, but what is a girl to do when this lonely idiot is lying in his house in Malibu and would probably rather try on my dresses?.  Apparently I wear too much makeup, apparently I am now sixty years old, apparently the Chelsea Theatre holds twenty people, and apparently people are applying their ruby lips to parts of my body as if they are smoking a cigar, and apparently I paid for my own exhibition at Leadapron, where my neons were available on the Seven Deadly Sins?

If only it was that. Again this fool has afforded me more internet kudos.  Number one I like accuracy, I was born on the 13th May 1960 so that makes me 51. I don't know why he considers my age interesting as I am the wrong gender for him?.  The Chelsea Theatre has a capacity of 125 people and was full every day.  That is not the only facet that might make me famous?.  Also if you are going to attack another human in a public manner make sure that the attack goes to the right person, there are two Lyall Watsons. I won't have a word said against this man who I have known for thirty years.  He is incredible in many ways.   As for makeup, I love makeup, Hollywood was made on making women perfect. Thank goodness for Westmores, Max Factor, Lanvin and Smashbox.  So all I can assume is that this man, who has been in prison in England for forging his identity to avoid his true miserable existence.  However Whitstable does not sound too bad to me? and he is now wanted by the police for an assault on minors in England which he did not have the guts to attend?.  Shall I tell you his name? Should I reveal his identity, I will give you clues, he lives in a cave he says, and he was a  programme about addiction, but really I don't give a damn.  Funny thing is I welcomed him into my house and one Christmas had him to stay. Actually I quite liked him, don't you find it sad when you like somebody, and they behave like this to you?

Physical problems are visable, but mental problems tend to be very well hidden, until they lose their temper. What a shame that this entertaining, amusing man with caustic wit has to be so  self destructive.. All this in an article called "Hell is other people" and all for a fight with his aloof best friend.  Personally I believe this interesting "case" should have been a priority for shrinks long ago.
When I look back at all my NLP notes and my studies of  gestalt therapy, healing with music and the arts, this human being seems to be suffering from self sabotage.  He may come towards fabulous success only to destroy it because he has never developed past that part.  He tries to drag us all back down the hill with him, he understands failure but struggles with success, with no relief.

So here goes if you can't be bothered to look it up

This is the original


"Hell is: Other People

18 Jul

"I see that my nemesis Amanda Eliasch and her truly talented friend Lyall Watson (whoring himself out to artifice) have written and performed in a ‘play’ called As I Like It.
Apparently it is rather ‘whiney’.  Apparently her son serves her during the performance as a weird incestuous acolyte.  Apparently there is an opera singer with huge talent who barely gets to sing.  Apparently she refers to ‘hairy legged lesbians’.  As we know at her core she is a homophobe.
Apparently this ‘play’ is crap.
It really isn’t any wonder, Amanda can scarcely string a sentence together.   It’s worth quoting the programme notes:
This is a play what I wrote for my Father several years ago which he asked me to do after he had died. I turned it into a play with the help of Lyall Watson who had taught me at RADA in 1989. There are only a few plays for women and I wanted to contribute and increase the material available. It is a modern restoration comedy.
Yes.  You are going to do wonders for women with this pile of  tripe.  Wonders.
I once played Mr Puff at The Edinburgh Festival in Sheridan’s The Critic.   Have you seen that play?  A comedy of manners.  A real one.
Like Mrs Eliasch Mr Puff, the author of a terrible play, invites critics Sneer and Dangle to a dress rehearsal.
Puff explains to Sneer that he is ‘‘a Professor of the Art of Puffing’’: an author who has taught newspaper men and advertisers how to inflate their diction so they may ‘‘enlay their phraseology with variegated chips of exotic metaphor’’ and ‘‘crowd their advertisements with panegyrical superlatives.’’
Break a leg Amanda. "

JULIA's, a friend of mine, whose comment was altered by this man. Is it an offence to alter another persons  written word?


Julia July 20, 2011 at 12:15 #
What a pity that with your caustic wit and eagle eye you could only review Amanda’s recent play by hearsay, you use the word Apparently many times. Should you have seen the play at least your comments would have been your own opinion instead of rehashed gossip, unfortunately you already know that England is not a good place to be right now and decided to extradite yourself to calmer shores.
If indeed you had been here you would be dealing with the very serious matter of gross assault on a number of young people but you neglected to attend the hearing. APPARENTLY you were awarded a negative result that will await your return.
You do not mention the lovely Justine Glenton, the actress playing leading lady and not Amanda as you indicate, Her son portrayed many roles within the play as well as playing the piano,
they played to capacity every night so something must have been right, Lyall Watson is an acting guru and wonderful writer so of course he is all about artifice, its called show business and i would love to know which meaning of the word nemesis you use since divine retribution or an enemy you cant overcome sounds like flattery and i feel sure that’s not your intention. maybe you are just an old hetrophobe, Julia
ps having read and re read the programme i cannot find any grammatical errors, maybe the person reading it to you needs to mumble a bit louder.
Your comment is awaiting moderation....

THIS IS WHAT THE BLOGGER CHANGED THE ABOVE TO USING MY FRIENDS NAME. HE HAS NOW REMOVED BOTH. BUT I KEEP EVERYTHING AND MY FRIEND TO. WHY MAKE ENEMIES WHEN YOU DON'T NEED TOO?


I think Amanda is a treacherous hag. Thank God she has money…she would be so lonely without it. I heard that your ex boyfriend Jake Bauman lost his iPod and you defended him from a bunch of teenagers who refused to leave the house. It is a pity that this happened.

HE THEN WROTE THIS


duncanroy said on Hell is: Other People

July 21, 2011 at 08:31
In response to duncanroy on July 18, 2011 at 10:23:
Forgive me for rambling…. Rather lovely day yesterday. Had lunch with Daniel Darling and his adorable girlfriend (?) in Cross Creek. We were joined by Toby Mott and his friend Elizabeth.  Daniel went surfing and we drove to Malibou Lake where we sailed and then had a wonderful dinner at The Old Place on Mulholland. [...]
Julia! Amanda is not that bad. Just misunderstood. She was the Wendy Deng of her generation. Feisty. It was a terrible pity that my ex Jake Bauman lost his ipod during a drunken blackout causing me to try and defend him then the house from a bunch of drug taking teenagers that my friend asked me to remove from the house because so much stuff had gone missing. It’s a pity that I am the one left clearing up the mess. Thank God I have a restraining order/order of protection against him. Amanda must have some talent. Somewhere?
See all comments on this post here.

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2011/07/22/addicted-in-hollywood-fame-fortune-and-dark-realities-sexual-addiction/?test=faces 
Apparently
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2002/sep/21/homes
and 
http://www.tmz.com/2009/05/03/sex-rehab-star-accused-of-lunchtime-beatdown/


If he wants me to carry on.. well that will be between me and my legal advisors.

















HURLY BURLY OF A WEEK

What a week it has been I have had adventures all over the place.  From visiting Stockholm, which I have come to truly love.  It felt empty and I stayed in a stunning hotel in the heart of the ravishing city called the Lydmar Hotel. Small sophisticated and welcoming. Much better than the hurly burly of the Berns where I stayed last year. I love the feeling of the wind through my hair, and it was good weather. I saw the remnants of my ex family, and I felt comfortable and happy.  Of course sometimes I miss the past. The knowledge that I am understood by all is a great pleasure.
On to Deia in Mallorca and stayed at La Residencia, which at first I hated.  I was still in the play mode. Hard to change gear, but the serene town in the this gorgeous island was incredibly beautiful and just what I needed. I even found a house to buy, in fact several. The most stunning by far was in the centre of Soller. A grand old house through Kensington Estates. The town garden was a dream. The surrounding beauty reminded me I could be in Switzerland. I then visited some in Deia where I was staying. I have come to love it here. There is something about it.
I buzzed round the world at the speed of light, hitting Los Angeles and New York in the reality of dreams, collecting theatres to perform in.  I am taking the play to these places.  It was so much fun to do.  I have never felt happier.
Now back to London.

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

AMANDA ELIASCH SAYS PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULD NOT THROW STONES

IF PEOPLE DID NOT THROW STONES, I WOULD NOT HAVE TO DEVELOP ARMOUR PLATING 

People say the loveliest things even when they don't intend to.  Being described as somebody's nemesis, is absolutely fabulous, good if I bang my feet and people hear.  Look it up in the dictionary and you find it means that I am an unbeatable enemy, and divine retribution.  By the way this was often said to me  soon after I left the womb.  Indeed I have tried to live up to this accolade every day of my life.
Last time I was attacked by the same sour faced fan, I was described as Wallace Simpson, so I have climbed a few more rungs on the ladder. Where will it all end?. I feel like Alexis Carrington in Dynasty. The sometimes sparkling wit of this creature is often tainted by resentment that he has for anybody who has an ounce of brain.
This particular person is a crashing bore and school bully.  He has to dig around and he should be careful because people in glass houses should not throw stones. If he is not careful I'll furnish the Police with everything they need to know.

LAST MINUTE THEATRE TICKETS, REVIEW of AS I LIKE IT by AMANDA ELIASCH


There are not many good roles for women, but As I Like It has one. Justine Glenton plays a thinly disguised Amanda Eliasch, in a play written and produced by Amanda. This 75 minute monologue is fun,funny, honest and sad. Glenton does an amazing job, she was absolutely brilliant.
Amanda is a British photographer, fashion editor, poet and socialite. Anyone who is Facebook friends with Amanda will know that she is creative and always working at something. Be that photography or writing.
An attractive women “of a certain age” this play, directed by renowned Lyall Watson (of the Rome TV series) and with a set design by renowned interior decorator Nicky Haslam, is a visual feast. The set is amazing. As I Like It came about when Eliasch’s father, journalist and writer Anthony Cave, he told her to write 5,000 words by the ‘end of the weekend’. Eliasch who had only met her father at the late age of 22, made it her goal to shock him. It worked but he told her to put it away until he had died. He died two years ago, and here it is.
It is hard to watch without thinking about how much is true, I think most, if not all of it is. In the Evening Standard later that evening I see Amanda in the Diary, stating that the character is not her as ‘she is brunette and we have a different eating disorder”. But a previous interview in the same newspaper keeps coming back to me as I watch, facts jumping out here and there that correlate the two people, fact and fiction. As I Like It is well written, directed, acted. And it is very different. I highly recommend it.
As I Like It runs from 4 July to 14 July, 7.30pm at Chelsea Theatre, 020 7352 1967.

(1-2) Is Political Correctness Worse Than Communism? Dr. Trifkovic

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

THE EDGE OF A CLIFF BY AMANDA ELIASCH

I like to be
on the edge of a cliff
kept at sea
not knowing
what
is happening
to me
I like to be
swirled into
new waters
uncertain of
the outcome
yet certain
I like to be in
the middle of
a room
not speaking
a word
that is familiar
and listen
to the
ravishing
beauty of the
sound. Alone
nobody talking to
me
I like to be kept
at the edge of a
cliff
with the
uncertainty of
nature
just listening
to the waters
against
the hard rock.

SYSTEM RESTORED BY AMANDA ELIASCH

What do you do if everything is shut down, frozen and it won't respond to you, as if  it has some kind of horrible virus?. Sometimes when you want to turn it on, you have to turn it off first. Realise it is a minefield, you have to say the right password as it won't let you in.  Usually what works are the words you said in the very beginning.

For all those women whose men are being a pain in the neck, just remember every now and again to re set them to factory settings, and configure them to a date that previously worked. Defragment them and decompress all their files. They will then act and be more responsive to your requests.

HOLIDAYS DURING THE DAY

I was asked what holidays were like on my own in the day. The answer is not too bad.  I can do the round of beauty treatments smile at some lonely old men, to see if they will smile back, just to check if they have their teeth in and I scream until I am heard.

ANITA ZABLUDOWICZ's BRILLIANT BLOG, REVIEW OF AS I LIKE IT and PECCADILLOES EXHIBITION

Monday, 18 July 2011

LA RESIDENCIA. MALLORCA

What is a girl meant to do if they are on their own on holiday.?  You can feel like a total loser when you hear people laughing outside and  you are stuck to your bedroom.   The truth is I am doing an experiment to see what it is like if I am on my own, on holiday.  The experiment is not for me.  I went downstairs, braving the unknown with my lipstick and a pretty dress at La Residencia Hotel in Mallorca. I sat on the terrace.   I ordered a drink and some ham and bread. Everybody was looking at me, one wife started putting on her lipstick. Another was whispering whilst pointedly looking at me, and another covered her face. I knew I could cope provided I talked to a friend on the telephone. The loneliness would disappear. Indeed it did feel better. I quietly spoke while others were laughing and smiling, careful not to offend.  Then some waiter came out and told me to stop talking, yet others were talking loudly around me.  Of course this is Spain and they like single women to disappear quite obviously.
Well I shall. As soon as the owl has gone to bed, I shall awake and put my best foot forward.  I have nothing to be ashamed of.  I have simply nothing to do this Summer.  Having entertained most of London at some point or other, I still did not get an invitation that was cosy enough to feel okay on my own.  So I thought I would quietly experiment. Tomorrow I am leaving for  the comfort of my house, because there is no way I am being bullied here..
Oh I suppose you want to know what the hotel was like, well it is Mallorca, and full of middle aged couples that were not particularly attractive. Good food and shabby decoration.  Expensive of course, but then it is July.  As for buying a property here, I shall forget it,  It feels too unwelcoming for me and too rustic loaf.
Sweden on the other hand was beautiful and full of attractive people.

Sunday, 17 July 2011

FASHION HORRORS

HANDWRITING THE IMPORTANCE BY AMANDA ELIASCH

Are we all crazy to stop teaching people handwriting.. there are only 26 letters of the alphabet.  Handwriting is a beautiful and individual talent, from which you can enjoy so much.  If this is the case whoever is putting this idea forward should be put behind bars.  How dare the powers that be decide for our children this stupidity.  To leave this out is a criminal offence.  Thank goodness my children are older and the restrictions of modern life is not valued by your ability to type.

All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace (Ep. 1) - Full

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

SPOON FED REVIEW AS I LIKE IT BY LYALL WATSON AND AMANDA ELIASCH

GENLUX MAGAZINE SUMMER ISSUE

THE CHELSEA THEATRE THANK YOU

I was so touched today by the my friends who made an effort to see the play.  I have seen a  supportive friendship this week that is rare.  I really want to thank all of you that have so far come and seen the play, even the critics. The theatre is small, not so out of the way, but not convenient either.   I love this space. For ten days I have spent my time in Chelsea, I have never been happier.  Thank you.
Justine, Jake, Fredrik, Susan, Lily, Lyal, Charlie, Macqueen, Emma, Audrey and Nataly. Your star rises. It has been an incredible experience.

The Cook,The Thief,His Wife and Her Lover OST.-Memorial.(Part 1).

PROJECT PRESS

http://amandaeliasch.ning.com/profile/AmandaEliasch
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/house-and-home/interiors/a-room-of-ones-own-photographer-amanda-eliaschs-home-is-all-about-big-statements-1632136.html
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/22932704/Amanda-Eliasch
http://property.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/property/interiors/article3697986.ece
http://julieannerhodes.com/2011/05/peccadilloes-the-seven-deadly-sins.html

LASTMINUTETHEATRETICKETS.COM REVIEW

"THOSE WHO KNOW ME BETTER, KNOW BETTER" Marilyn Monroe. COME DIE WITH ME

I put on a play, because we all like to play don't we? Really anybody who did not pay for a ticket, and still had fish and chips and beer round the corner, do not need to come again, if they did not like it.  Names will appear on my black list as I speak.  I don't want them to come to my next mammoth production, I shall torture them in rehearsal instead.
Why would I write a story about somebody who is self satisfied, oblivious to the world outside?.   Why think I live in some Walt Disney womb somewhere, nobody wants these stories?.
At least I reveal myself,  and my real life is not all butterflies and chintz.  Dispel the myth that I, or that anyone, has everything in life, because it is superficial and transient.  People  mistakenly believe that fame and money can give them a god given miracle. I know it can't.
After all I cannot reveal that I am a gay politician, or shave my head like Britney Spears, I did not want to eat cockroaches in the jungle. I did not want to do "Come dine with me" and eat other people's ghastly food.  So I thought I would ask for no favours, or cost anybody any money, or walk on other peoples bodies to look interesting.  I thought I would put my money where my mouth is and tell the truth in all its gory details.  It is indeed approximately who I was ten years ago, although I am naturally harder than my brilliant actress, and more self deprecating. Justine has put into my play a sensitivity at the end that sadly I never felt. It is a play that most women that I have spoken to, find something to interest them.
This man Matt could have come in and  have farted and it would be a breath of fresh air.  I admire Matt Trueman's wit, if only he acted, instead of writing about other people's performances, this speaks volumes about his own stage career. Oxford followed by Central, We are not so different. We are on the same rung of the ladder, but I can't decide which direction he is going in.
So in answer to my critics and to quote Marilyn Monroe, "Those that know me better, know better

Sunday, 10 July 2011

STICKING IT TO THE MAN

The world has gone mad, well we all know that.

A teenager gets put in jail for a year, for throwing two sticks at the police. It will cost the tax payer roughly 100,000 pounds and ruin another child's life. Meanwhile, the man who came at me with two 12-inch knives - by the Festival Hall nearly two years ago - walks free. He was called to come to court a year after the event, but he did not turn up, and I have had no news from the police since. Apparently, there is one rule for the police and another for the rest of us.

What is the point of this? To show that we have become a fascist state?  It does not look good for the rest of the students who were furious about the cutbacks.  What is the point of making this boy a criminal?  He was probably clever.

The world is a nightmare of unfairness. You don't go to prison if you try to murder somebody, but go to prison if you threaten a policeman?

DEUTSCHE BANK and THE CHELSEA THEATRE

What a weird world we live in, Deutsche Bank sacks three hundred British workers, then takes 300 clients out and spends more than a million on entertaining them. It is sheer madness. I always refuse parties backed by banks because of that kind of behaviour. And incidentally, Frieze is backed by Deutsche Bank.
Meanwhile, I have spent the whole week in the Chelsea Theatre, on a council estate in the heart of Chelsea where you can tell there is a huge amount of poverty. This hidden theatre is not used to its full capacity. It is a beautiful space, and the night staff have been very helpful. Jacob and Macqueen deserve gold stars. Macqueen has one of the best speaking voices in England. Cheryl Cole needs to learn from him. Perhaps Deutsche could splash out there, so perhaps all the unemployed people on the estate have something to watch.
I have been completely locked up in my play. It truly affects me.  I sit there and laugh at some memories and at others I cover my  ears in horror. I have been asked afterwards if I am all right. Of course I am, darlings. I wrote the play ten years ago. I can not find the depths of sorrow that my actress Justine is able to. I am harder.
At the theatre last night, I saw my great friend Paul Kember.  He wrote Not Quite Jerusalem.  I am determined to do something with him one of these days....
My play runs until Thursday and tickets are still available on line at The Chelsea Theatre.

Friday, 8 July 2011

LONDON LAST MINUTE THEATRE TICKETS REVIEW OF AS I LIKE IT

HARRY POTTER PREMIERE and I was touched by the fans.






Harry Potter cannot end surely?  
Isn't this the beginning of a religion, people lying on the ground under metal fences in order to get a glimpse of the foot of Harry?  Can anybody stay sane under these circumstances? I am not sure.  Outside on the street it seemed to me that Harry Potter was the Macdonald's to Fine dining.  Yet this is not true either.  Nobody can deny that HP has taste.  It is tastefully shot, beautifully cast, great panache, music and story.  I cannot argue with 20,000 or more souls lying on the floor of Trafalgar Square and beyond who are just happy getting a bit of HP Magic.  That is what it is.  The team of this whole adventure have done magic on themselves and look what it has achieved.  A friend asked how I got a ticket.  I answered I just knew I would.  It is the power of positive thought. I think enough will be said about the film, the effects the drama.  I am more interested outside.  The barriers, the young teenagers dying for autographs, the bodyguards, the superstars, the police, the heat, the lying on the floor to get the feel of stardom. It was organised madness.  Good luck to you all.  I have to be honest that once inside all I could think of was the children outside.  So I went out and gave my ticket to a girl in a floral dress who could get in.  These fans touched me. I rushed to see my son in his play, just to check that all went well at The Chelsea Theatre.  
It did, although I wanted to chuck four plates and fight.  All went well.  I rushed to the after party taking with me who I could. I walked in with three tall good looking boys calling them my sons. Nobody could turn down such stunning looks. The party was incredible too.  Hog with buns, sweet stalls, chocolate whirling, drinks galore.  All sizzled.  

Thursday, 7 July 2011

THE INDEPENDENT DIARY NEWS DIARY.

REVIEWS FROM FRIENDS about the PLAY


Dear
Sorry I could not attend post play jamboree- reasons too dull to expand on.
I thought it was an extraordinary evening- loved the meditation class taking
place by the entrance (no hope in hell of keeping on track there). Loved the
sets, loved the boy, love your chutzpah, loved sitting near Nancy and Trev
and Viv and Traceeeeeeeeeey.
There is so much about the play to discuss- shared memories, totally
different experiences but many things in common. There were profoundly
touching moments and some very funny ones too. You are amazingly brave to do
it. Amazingly. I raise a huge glass to you and your vulnerability and energy
and flamboyance.
Goodnight dear friend. Well done. Brava.
Love Hannah Rothschild

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Darling Amanda

I found your play  moving and at times unbearably so, very Proustian with your 
obsession with loss and longing. 

And as for Charles he really has it - that star quality.

Big congratulations and much love Claudia Rothermere xxxx



Wednesday, 6 July 2011

2nd NIGHT, PREMIERE AS I LIKE IT

Justine was incredible yesterday, Monday night nerves were replaced with confidence, and now she just has to colour the piece. No pages were missed.  The theatre was brimming over with my friends and I was lucky enough to have Trevor Nunn there with my lovely friend Nancy Dell'ollio, Vivienne Westwood and Andreas Kronthaler, Tracey Emin, The Delevignes, Hannah Rothschild (who is my oldest friend in the whole room) all came to support me. My beautiful friend Rushka Bergman came from New York.  So all is merry.  I have lovely messages.  One friend said I suppose I knew you would never be happy with the chicken run, in life. Funny ones, people think that what I am saying in it is what I think today, no, this is what I thought yesterday.  I am happy now ..

Then there was a party for everybody back at my house.  The house was full, bursting with pals. Delicious food by Mark Hix. AMANDA

AS I LIKE IT, GETTY IMAGES DAVE BENNETT PHOTOGRAPHS

AS I LIKE PREMIERE

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

FIRST NIGHT JITTERS FOLLOWED BY FISH AND CHIPS

I think I was meant to go into a hole when I got divorced. You know ignored by my friends and put into a box and locked up.  Well it did not happen.  I have been lucky, my friends don't seem to mind me being me. I wrote my play as I said ten years ago.  It is an old story.  It however still moves me.  Justine is often able to make me cry when revealing some secrets. I am a romantic, I am also a perfectionist and a control freak.
The first night of the play has finished.  The good thing about the theatre is that you can't predict what is going to happen.  It can change every night.

Problems last night lay in one person in the audience, who forgot to turn off their telephone. She was above my law and rather defiant.  More fool her.

The audience was a sea of anonymous faces I did not know, and among them the jewels in the crown were the iconic men David Tang and my all time favourite writer Quentin Letts. Heaven knows what he made of the first night nerves of my leading lady.
We then went to The Worlds End pub for delicious Fish and Chips.




Sunday, 3 July 2011

DRESS REHEARSAL AND TRACEY EMIN's BIRTHDAY

From ten this morning I have been in preparation for tomorrow.  I am a little scared it has to be said. Will the play be good?, is it good?, will people like it? Is it funny, is it too sad? Is it too long or too short?.  So many things?.  Will the dress break?.  Will it look good.?  All sorts of madness goes through my head.  Why should my story be anymore important than anybody elses?  Well it is, and it is not, it is more about a monologue for women.  There are too few, and there are some good moments.  Plus there has been so many things in the last two or three weeks that I can barely think.  My life has raced ahead without anytime to consider what has gone on. Perhaps the busiest time in the whole of my life.

The funny thing is I remember my story so well, but it is in the past.  All has changed.  There are just remnants left.  Obviously  as I say in the play,  my life slipped through my fingers like a powder puff.
I left the theatre tonight happy that all is going well, all I had to worry about today is whether the quiet peddle in working on the piano and that it was covered with dust.  I solved that by whipping off my dress and using it as a duster. Life is such fun.

I then had to race to Tracey Emin's incredible birthday party on her roof terrace for the interesting mix of  wonderful friends she has collected over the years. I sat talking with Vivienne Westwood who said she would come to the play.  There was  Lucy and David Tang, Alan Yentob, Mat Collishaw, in fact it was quite the place to be. Tracey is certainly loyal to those who love her.  I was so pleased to meet her Mother, a lovely woman.  Thanks to Mark Hix the food was delicious.

Now I need some sleep.



AS I LIKE IT, WRITTEN BY AMANDA ELIASCH AND LYALL WATSON

I walked into the theatre yesterday, and it felt totally luxurious. Hidden away in the heart of Chelsea by tall unforgiving buildings lies Nicky Haslam's stunning design for my play.  It is magical and as you enter this hidden treasure you can escape the traffic and noise of real life.  I am so touched by the effort he made for me.  When you put on a play you know who your friends are.  I love this medium more than anything else.  It is where I trained.  It is live, and you can tell the truth from the lies immediately.
There are so many aspects of theatre that I adore, the lighting, the music, the set, the costumes, the smell, everything in fact.  I have made many good friends, the team is excellent. The lighting moody and romantic gives another layer to this already moving play.
Justine's performance yesterday was remarkable, if filmed, she would have won an Oscar.  She was so real that the words were hers,  I forgot completely that they were once mine, Lyall's beautiful adaptation of the original letter to my Father worked smoothly, Lyall is the master.  Believable, with depth, Justine took me to a place I had long forgotten.  It is funny how time is fast and yesterday becomes a very long time ago.


I feel in another world but could not wait to see my friends photographs of Kate Moss's wedding.  She looked so pretty in the cream dress, happy.  I love weddings, the dresses the friends, the joyful tidings.

Friday, 1 July 2011

AS I LIKE IT THE PLAY

Yesterday when I saw the set start coming together I cried, Nicky Haslam and his wonderful team have done the most incredible job.  They have created a fantasy version of my bedroom for my actress. It is completely over the top and totally glamorous.  I want the bedroom now.
I then met my Aunt and Uncle who checked the play. Of course they didn't like it all, but quite reasonably  said "If you are going to tell the story tell it all"  It is of course difficult, sometimes a play just takes over, this one has just done that.  There are bits I would like to leave out, there are bits I love and there are bits that I would change.  At the last minute I need to stay calm.  It has been quite a journey.  I love the result and Justine Glenton has been easy to work with.  It is now down to the boring bits, like whether to paint the floor one colour or another, or what are the copyright laws?  Is the theatre going to serve drinks?  
Mark Hix offered to do a dinner for me on Tuesday at my house so of course I am excited. I love Tom Aikens but sadly he could only take 40 people.  These two cooks are totally brilliant, so I am a lucky girl.
Lyall and I are speaking on the Radio tomorrow, so hopefully we will be witty and interesting.
  

Contro Mundum, DEAD OR ALIVE DAPHNE GUINNESS AGAINST THE WORLD

Daphne Guinness and Shaun Leane have created a spectacular glove with 5,000 pave diamonds.  Last night Daphne was lying in state at Jay Jopling's spectacular house full of Damien Hirst's butterfly paintings. Swathed in cream lace from head to toe, I could not tell whether the sleeping beauty was alive or dead,  or waiting for a prince just inside a door.  Serene, untouched like stone, that is until Tom Ford came in. Tom awoke his Princess with a kiss fondling the breasts of stone, even Daphne could not help herself from laughing.Quite surreal, quite ethereal, the glove shone from her perfectly.
I need a glove to protect me too.

I then raced to see my good friend Pilar Boxford who was given  birthday party,  The traffic was terrible, too many people everywhere.  This planet is too full.  The traffic was worse the Istanbul's.
I tried to go and support Tracey Emin who was given a birthday by Louis Vuitton in the private room.  I arrived just as they were locking the doors. I went upstairs and saw my great pal Nicky Haslam looking elegant.  If he is wearing Top Man I will eat my hat, I simply do not believe he could be this dapper from the high street.  The usual gang was there Mark Hix, the very adorable Stephen Webster, Nancy Dell'Ollio. Tracey had created a beautiful room, simple napkins with faces, and a table cloth with them too, her simple line drawings giving depth to the evening.  Mark Hix, a brilliant chef created a delicious simple dinner.
I got home and sang arias with Charles and Ben Kinsella and fell asleep at 2am. Oh what delights it is  to have a musical family.