NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

New Year resolutions are looming like a black cloud or a pink rose haze depending on your mood. Well mine is chirpy, and despite my girlfriends claiming there are no men about I have managed to surround myself with them through the whole of Christmas, so I am a lucky girl. I am inclined to think that they are all too fussy, so to challenge the female sorority I have joined Match.com, and what fun I have had. Of course you have to put up with a big fatso man having the crop of fabulous busted women but who cares - there is still room for me on the red carpet. Anyway after spending an hour filling out forms, doing quizzes, checking my accuracy for form, I have had several interesting requests to see me. I am not sure that Facebook doesn't win because everything happens through friends of friends, so that a profile is easily obtainable. A romance on Facebook can take minutes to start up, and I get nagged once a day. At the moment I have a delicious 24 year old chasing me from Bombay, needless to say he hasn't realised that I could be his mother. Whatever, the internet is the way to go. Forget friends; there is too much social/political banter, and they rarely, if ever introduce you to 'dick shit'. I just love the company of men, they can be truly trusted and the more the merrier.
Another resolution will be to have friends that are equal in every way. This never mattered to me before, but there is always the problem of me ending up with the bill. Why should it always be me? Therefore my friends will have to have the same interests and wherewithal that I have. I am very generous, but friends pushed my limits last year, which is entirely my fault as I never say NO. They will simply have to give as much as I do. Actually I am beginning to believe my ex when he used to say why do you need friends, they are the very people who stop you doing the very thing you want to do! I just can't help myself I love the playground.

TISSUE PAPER AND PRESENTS

Christmas is over, tissue paper unused is on my chest of drawers, the red roses are starting to droop, and the sun shines through on this beautiful Sunday morning in Los Angeles. I have had a hectic time and now its starting to calm down, and time to write my thank you notes. I am instead lying in bed satiated with new toys, and ready to lose weight of course. I received some great presents, one of the best was a necklace from Tiffanys saying "do not resuscitate if fat". I also shared my time with some great friends, and had an amazing Christmas party here. Eric Buterbaugh, florist to the stars and 'Amanda', wanted me to have a red tree, and with little nagging I arrived from London to a mad creation of festive beauty. Birds, were everywhere. He is without doubt, along with Kenneth Turner, a florist I worked for in 1983, the best florist on the planet, definitely the only people allowed to touch my tree. Eric has glamour that the other florists don't. Kay Saatchi indulged me and gave me a beautiful top with pearls. I was definitely spoilt, and then I was given a chakra pendant by Maya Fiennes with minute jewels. The party as a lot of fun, Sean Borg, public relation blogger to Hollywood came, Zeta Graff looking ravishing in a black slinky number, Ryan Fox, Julie Anne Rhodes, bringing her homemade cookies, Eileen Koch and Magnus Fiennes. My sons and Phoebe Saatchi made us all stockings full of wit and craziness, my son Jack customizing a pair gym shoes for a friend. So I am beginning to like it here a lot. I love my house with its views of a fake Tuscany/Beverly Hills. The following Christmas night , was funny we went to the house of Michel and Ayoka Comte, and because of a power cut had to climb over the gates to their estate. We ate Cheese Fondue in candle light very romantic.

COULD THIS BE HELL?

I have arrived at my house in Los Angeles, which I love and adore. The only thing is, when you leave something as big as this un loved for a while, everything breaks down. I had palpitations last night, trying to get my computer to work. In fact there were eight Macs in the house, and only one worked - and it wasn't mine. I received an instruction manual from AT&T to start them on a new modem, and after two hours on the telephone to them, the computers still didn't work. Nothing is simple. I like on and off. All I could think of was how did we ever live before without electronics - and how do we live with them? I used to like mobile telephones but now have no real interest in it at all. All those meaningless conversations with friends, about nothing. I would rather have read books, several books. Anyway, back to the computer. I have an amazing company here in LA, belonging to the lovely Richard Basch, who has a great sense of humour. I was telling him that the whole house would be in a body bag if he didn't get here quickly. Another of my friend said, you know this could be death, we could have died: nothing could be worse than having to spend hours on the telephone trying to fix something, with a company such as AT&T. But today Richard Basch's team were able to make everything work within ten minutes. All the system needed was re setting -and the drama and fatigue of it all had been totally unnecessary.

I Can't stay still
I have to move forward
i can't forget yesterday
But it is a blurred dream
I can live for
now and hopefully
my ideas will
follow, clean articulate
not narrow

I am happy when I
I speak and I
am answered
impatient and fashionable
Often angry
this is of no interest
to me now
I need to be kept at
room temperature
I will have only people
who keep me like this
I will push people
away who infuriate
and create heart boiling anger

LIFE HAS THE QUALITIES OF AN ENVELOPE
THE HARDNESS ON THE
OUTSIDE CONTAINING
LAYERS OF CHIFFON
A GLOSSY GOSSAMER OF FACTS AND LIES
OF SURPRISES AND DISLOYALTY
AND FAKE SMILES
WHOSE PAID CURIOSITY
OF MY LIFE
STEALING MY SPIRIT TO SAY
ITS THEIRS
TRYING TO HANDCUFF MY IDEAS
AND FAKE DEPRESSION
TO CREATE SYMPATHY
FOR THEIR NASTY UNKIND MOUTH
AND THWARTED AMBITIONS.

WARNER BROS PRESENT SHERLOCK HOLMES Directed by Guy Ritchie

There was no cozy gentlemen's club feel to this version of Sherlock Holmes,n'or did it give an impression of a relaxed Sunday afternoon by the fireplace.Robert Downey Junior gives a very attractive, darker more intellectual approach to the character of Sherlock. Helped of course, by his stunning Velvet Frock Coats and Top hat, and Jude Law as Watson, together they became "Gilbert and George", only obviously younger and more dishy. The story is full of action and I am exhausted and terrified watching the endless stunts. I felt like a pig watching a saw coming towards me in an abattoir. Witchcraft, The Freemasons, Parliament, following a masterful journey with secrets lying in the book of spells. Expanding the Empire, taking over the Houses of Parliament, altogether my most favourite subjects. The music was continuous and heightened the drama, the crashing and banging to six eight time by Zimmer. The satin velvet smog of Victorian England, the building of London Bridge, have never looked so glamourous. Much of the film is beautifully directed by Guy Ritchie, and the camera man needs to be congratulated.. The party afterwards was full of the cast, all enjoying themselves in a converted church. Delicious food and plenty props to amuse me. A horse and carriage outside, Policemen and dancing girls.I have had a great night.

SEXUAL MUSIC AND MUZAK

I have decided that only the French can write sexual music, especially,Maurice Ravel,who although born in a Basque village was raised in Paris and went to the Conservatoire there, and Claude Debussy, I am totally inspired to "play" to this music next time, if and when I have the opportunity.
Tonight the London Symphony Orchestra, conducted by the great Russian, Valery Gregiev, presented spectacular performances. The LSO practice every day with each other and it really shows. Two pieces of Ravel, including Bolero which got a huge applause. I do wish that this was not over played in places like Waitrose, look what they did with Lakme, they used the beautiful Flower duet, to sell us British Airways. It should be made into an offence. YUk I hate MUZAK.
They also gave us the chance to listen to Stravinsky's, Jeu de cartes, wonderful. A Russian by birth and made into a French citizen he later moved to the States. However he hated it when in America first staged Jeu de cartes as they used traditional tarot cards at the Metropolitan Opera House in New York, and medieval costumes, He preferred abstract to traditional designs to set his music to, using playing cards often, and his love of poker shows through. Richard Strauss had written a piece for the Oboe, an instrument which is often forgotten by composers, his concerto was outstanding as was the swiss player Emanuel Abbuhl's interpretation of it.
I do love nights like this and we must help this wonderful orchestra, and if we didn't, there would only be half of a performance. So perhaps after all ghastly Musak can pay for them?

HARVEY NICHOLS WINDOWS

Harvey Nichols Christmas Windows speak for themselves, inspired obviously by Erte, one of my favourite artists.

WINTERWONDERLAND IN HYDE PARK

The Winterwonderland Fair in Hyde Park last night in the freezing cold was incredible. A combination of delicious food, sausages and gluhwein. I Just walked through and felt eight again. It is better than botox. For once people looked really happy, childish pursuits are the best. Father Christmas, children playing in a fake snow bubble and Christmas Carols coming out of the lungs of a Reindeer Head. You should go and have some fun and play.

NO ILLITERATE SMUT PLEASE, IGNORE THE CHATTER

You know, I have changed in the last few weeks. These days, I really don't want to hear or know about people's sex lives. I just don't care. I never thought I would be saying this - as I have always been a smutty little girl - but frankly, gossiping about it has become a bore. Why do we need to know about Tiger Woods and his affairs? At best, more talk will only make everybody involved more miserable. No, I wish to be clean and serene. The thought of any form of pornography has always left me cold and I hate the way artists find it amusing or think we will be interested. Of course, there is beauty in anything and everything, but there are also evil people surrounding it. These are the people I wish to keep from me. I don't want to be further contaminated by illiterate and repetitive conversations. I think it is important to act your age, and sounding like a teenager in the playground is dull beyond belief. So Tiger, get under the blankets, listen to some Mozart, close the doors and wait until after Christmas. Love your wife and mother in law, and return as if nothing has happened in the New Year. Things will only get better if you ignore all the chatter.

QUICK BUY

Paris was beautiful, I want to live there. I like everything about it. Went to the Ritz whose entrance was full of reindeer and people being photographed against it. Adults were playing in the fake snow and inside was a huge penguin, really rather gaudy and all it needed was the sound of Christmas MUZAK floating through its halls. The Ritz has a great bar at the back which is lots of fun during fashion week. I like to have tea in the front bar where I can watch the world go by. I used to like Paddington Station too for people watching Eurostar is evan better.
Last night I ate at an Italian Restaurant called Stresa,7 Rue Chambiges
75008 Paris, France
01 47 23 51 62
hugely expensive and because of economic catastrophe, totally out of its time. The food was delicious, but there are limits. I had one bowl of soup and a coca cola and my bill was 200 euros.. a little steep.I was kicked under the table when I attempted to say anything. Whilst I don't think its unfair at Harry's Bar in London, here the tables are squashed together and the chairs are acutely uncomfortable. I was however with some great friends, for six people the bill flashed across the table at me in the region of 1400 euros for six people.
I have had a huge clear out this week of all objects that are not being used it feels very good to Winter clean, a process I like doing before Christmas. to change my whole life. feels so good, and I have never felt happier touch wood. We all know that the minute we say this disasters seem to happen.
Tonight I went to a really good art exhibition by Stephen Frears's wife, Anne Rothenstein, England and Co, 216 Westbourne Grove, W2.I Admired her beautifully crafted naive paintings, in mostly pastel colours, of reclining women. For me these are the ones that worked the best. It was worth it. I had never met the wife before, and when I did she said with a pretty impish grin "I am the one who makes Stephen Frears tolerable".Actually I quite like him. I saw my old acting teacher, and famous actress Diana Quick. She was incredible inspiration at a time when I felt drama school was a boot camp, which incidentally it is.I hadn't seen her for twenty years, and there she was full of life. My friend who accompanied me had a different experience as Diana had sat on his knee.

READY STEADY GO

It is definitely Christmas, unfortunately I missed my eldest son Charles's Carol Service, sadly because it is his last. And I remember him singing solo's at almost everyone of them. Time moves so very quickly.
Some great things happened, last night I went to the opening of The Connaught Hotel's extremely elegant Ballroom. I had been invited by Lucy Yeoman's, The Editor of Harpers Bazaar, and together they gave a party for Victoria Beckham, a magnificent dinner. Luckily Snowden Hill said I should have my make up done, lucky because as I stepped out of my car thirty paps came towards me and for a full five minutes I was a super star. I knew why the minute I entered, there was Gwen Stafani with blond bombshell hair, Victoria Beckham, her parents, Roberto Cavalli with dark glasses, Mr and Mrs Beckham senior, Phillip Treacy, Stephen Jones in a lace cap, a room full of the glamorous. Victoria looked svelte and neat in a dress which was so elegant, her hair in structured curls rather like a hat, and dramatic make up with thick lashes. I love her dresses so much that I wore one to the BAFTA's unfortunately I don't have her figure, and I had to go home in between the award ceremony and the party and rip it off but although I say it myself, I looked ravishing. Victoria has in the past been a rather under rated talent, noticed and not appreciated enough for what she really is, charming, very sweet and a dress designer too . I sat next door to Phillip whose hats I so admire. Amusing and witty we spent a few minutes gossiping about our friend Isabella Blow. There are three films being made of her, and it is good that she will be remembered.
Afterward I was happy to go back to 11 Cadogan Gardens, full of life. I wanted to chat all night but had to get up so early this morning for Paris. I had to see if my house is still there, give Christmas presents and sleep in my own bed, rather than in a hotel's.

Sophy ROBSON'S NEW APPLIQUE NAILS

Sophy Robson is definitely a woman I admire. A single mother she decided to take up doing nails first working with Bliss, the ultra trendy salon, that is famous for manicures, pedicures, facials and massages. Sophy has many famous clients whom she sees on a regular basis, and now has achieved recognition and is the best manicurist and pedicurist in London. Working with Fashion Designers Vivienne Westwood, Gareth Pugh,influenced by high street fashion and websites too such as ASOS, she decided to produce some beautiful applique nails for all of us..

I AM SORRY TO BRING THIS UP BUT

As a mother of two boys how would I feel if one was either murdered, or accused of murder. It is an horrific thought. The fact is that we could never imagine a child doing this that we had given birth to and nurtured. As a mother we only want the best for our children. So it is tragic that Meredith Kercher was so sadistically murdered and ghastly for their family. What is also confusing is the involvement of Amanda Knox, and her being accused as the murderer. Confusing because there is no hard evidence, and so little on her boyfriend. A couple of photographs, six words in a story she wrote, a video where Amanda is slightly drunk and her nickname, Foxyknoxy. The knife has little DNA, and the motives slim or non existent. Of course The Italian people had to find the murderer immediately or they would have lost pupils in the sleepy oldest University in Perugia, equally it was fabulous fodder for journalists who exaggerate at the best of times and easy to portray her as a violent killer. The Italian people had better be correct, if they are going to put her in jail for 26 years. It is a long time, if she is innocent. I have a problem with the whole thing. Amanda's friends all say she was incapable of doing this and friends who have known you a long time sort of know who you are. She was popular, a football player, a graduate, this is therefore an unusual profile for this cruel and unnecessary killing. Why did she involve people who had nothing to do with this e.g her boss? All is so far fetched and evil. if you discount the picture of her with a gun, and her nickname. My nickname is RATBAG, and I have a great photograph of me with a shot gun and some rather saucy poetry to my name. Am I a mass murderer? Hell no.. Let us pray I am never in this position.. As for the parents and family of Meredith, nothing can bring her back,not the four millions euros, thats for sure. I know that they wanted to find out who did this, and only God will ever know the complete truth, and of course I was not at the trial or the investigations, and therefore cannot be certain. I just have a nagging feeling that something is not 100 per cent correct. The whole thing reminds me of THE CRUCIBLE, a witch hunt. Giuliano Mignini is chief prosecutor. During the 1980'a or thereabouts there was a serial killer in Florence, Mignini was the prosecutor then too perhaps everybody should check how he conducted that case too.