Thursday 29 April 2010

Katie Melua - 'If You Were A Sailboat'

Peter Paul & Mary - Blowin in the wind (Tonight In Person 1966)

JOHANN SEBASTIAN BACH Jean-Pierre Rampal Sonata Flute & Harpsichord BWV ...

Francis Lai & His Immortal Music from the Masterpiece Movie!

BILITIS.. (1977)... Patti D'Arbanville

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You by Pablo Neruda

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You by Pablo Neruda


Life this week has had wonderful ups and downs, but when you try to work from Los Angeles there is a huge time difference that puts you into a scratchy mood. I wanted to send out some invitations, so I ask 6 weeks ago for my address book to be updated. My great friend who is staying has hers all on the computer and there is now no need to see my ten year old uneducated scrawl in some old address book that is falling apart, plus there is Facebook. The telephone never stops in the middle of the night here. I get little sleep and so that although sun is perfection , the difference in time is killing me.

In fact I have no longer any desire to set foot in London, and the only thing driving me are my wonderful friends who claim they miss me.
With the Election next week, my enthusiasm is dwindling, politicians are well known aliens so the election will just be that.. full of dressed up lies. Am I going to vote, the answer to the question is yes, but who for, I have no idea.. None of the leaders have the glamour to earn my trust.

All I know is that I am eating chocolate cake, having my hair done and writing on the computer, what amazing luxury.. by the way for America this Chocolate cake is incredible.. My cook brought it for me yesterday to entice some delicious man to propose to me, only he didn't turn up,instead it's lying on my hips and that prevents any ring from going over my marriage finger. Then there is the attraction of celibacy and freedom, which might be better than signing contracts and spending a fortune with a lawyer, when it all goes wrong. I would rather spend a fortune at Balmain darling ,and I have just been reminded that I have. There we are, my marriage settlement ends up in Maxfieds a decadent store on Melrose. You can't leave that place without having to go to church afterwards, however so not to make any mistakes make sure you have a friendship of Janet who works there, so that you don't end up in some frumpy Chanel dress with puff sleeves, she elegantly said "buy the jacket", you will wear it more..

Oh poo how can leave Arminda my beautiful Phillipino housekeeper in Beverly Hills for the grey mist and gloom of Belgravia.
Sometimes I just feel like, quittin I still might
Why do I put up this fight, why do I still write
Sometimes it's hard enough just dealin with real life
Sometimes I wanna jump on stage and just kill mics
And show these people what my level of skill's like
But I'm still white, sometimes I just hate life
Somethin ain't right, hit the brake lights
Case of the stage fright, drawin a blank like
Da-duh-duh-da-da, it ain't my fault
Great then I falls, my insides crawl
and I clam up (wham) I just slam shut
I just can't do it, my whole manhood's
just been stripped, I have just been vicked
So I must then get off the bus then split
Man fuck this shit yo, I'm goin the fuck home
World on my shoulders as I run back to this 8 Mile Road

I'm a man, I'ma make a new plan
Time for me to just stand up, and travel new land
Time for me to just take matters into my own hands
Once I'm over these tracks man I'ma never look back
(8 Mile Road) And I'm gone, I know right where I'm goin
Sorry momma I'm grown, I must travel alone
ain't gon' follow the footsteps I'm making my own
Only way that I know how to escape from this 8 Mile Road

I'm walkin these train tracks, tryin to regain back
the spirit I had 'fore I go back to the same crap
To the same plant, and the same pants
Tryin to chase rap, gotta move ASAP
And get a new plan, momma's got a new man
Poor little baby sister, she don't understand
Sits in front of the TV, buries her nose in the pad
And just colors until the crayon gets dull in her hand
While she colors her big brother and mother and dad
Ain't no tellin what really goes on in her little head
Wish I could be the daddy that neither one of us had
But I keep runnin from somethin I never wanted so bad!
Sometimes I get upset, cause I ain't blew up yet
It's like I grew up, but I ain't grow me two nuts yet
Don't gotta rep my step, don't got enough pep
The pressure's too much man, I'm just tryin to do what's best
And I try, sit alone and I cry
Yo I won't tell no lie, not a moment goes by
That I don't pray to the sky, please I'm beggin you God
Please don't let me pigeon holed in no regular job
Yo I hope you can hear me homey wherever you are
Yo I'm tellin you dawg I'm bailin this trailer tomorrow
Tell my mother I love her, kiss baby sister goodbye
Say whenever you need me baby, I'm never too far
But yo I gotta get out there, the only way I know
And I'ma be back for you, the second that I blow
On everything I own, I'll make it on my own
Off to work I go, back to this 8 Mile Road


You gotta live it to feel it, you didn't you wouldn't get it
Or see what the big deal is, why it wasn't the skillest
To be walkin this borderline of Detroit city limits
It's different, it's a certain significance, a certificate
of authenticity, you'd never even see
But it's everything to me, it's my credibility
You never seen heard smelled or met a real MC
who's incredible upon the same pedestal as me
But yet I'm still unsigned, havin a rough time
Sit on the porch with all my friends and kick dumb rhymes
Go to work and serve MC's in the lunchline
But when it comes crunch time, where do my punchlines go
Who must I show, to bust my flow
Where must I go, who must I know
Or am I just another crab in the bucket
Cause I ain't havin no luck with this little Rabbit so fuck it
Maybe I need a new outlet, I'm startin to doubt shit
I'm feelin a little skeptical who I hang out with
I look like a bum, yo my clothes ain't about shit
At the Salvation Army tryin to salvage an outfit
And it's cold, tryin to travel this road
Plus I feel like I'm on stuck in this battlin mode
My defenses are so up, but one thing I don't want
is pity from no one, the city is no fun
There is no sun, and it's so dark
Sometimes I feel like I'm just bein pulled apart
From each one of my limbs, by each on of my friends
It's enough to just make me wanna jump out of my skin
Sometimes I feel like a robot, sometimes I just know not
what I'm doin I just blow, my head is a stove top
I just explode, the kettle gets so hot
Sometimes my mouth just overloads the ass that I don't got
But I've learned, it's time for me to U-turn
Yo it only takes one time for me to get burned
Ain't no fallin no next time I meet a new girl
I can no longer play stupid or be immature
I got every ingredient, all I need is the courage
Like I already got the beat, all I need is the words
Got the urge, suddenly it's a surge
Suddenly a new burst of energy is occured
Time to show these free world leaders the three and a third
I am no longer scared now, I'm free as a bird
Then I turn and cross over the median curb
Hit the 'burbs and all you see is a blur from 8 Mile Road


Sunday 25 April 2010

Saturday 24 April 2010

Friday 23 April 2010

hey darling
with so few
seconds moments
with you
we have so little
maybe we should
have none

The Cove - trailer (2009 Sundance Film Festival audience winner)

Dr Sebagh the rejuvenator | Life & Style

Dr Sebagh the rejuvenator | Life & Style

OSCAR WILDE SAID "Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result"

I do like my friends being successful, it makes me feel that I am a bit more intelligent and creative than I am. It's as if a bit of their shiny glow lands on me, and colours me yellow. Zeta Graff has been my good friend for many years and during this time she has succeeded in changing my views over the diamond which is a miracle. She used to test me over the telephone," which diamond is better?" she would say, I would drive her mad by not having a clue, I used to not like jewellery at all. I am still wary of its extravagance but I remember Laurance Graff her ex father in law saying to me once " You should change that ameythst for a diamond." and I have thought about his words ever since.

The sun shines and we now find ourselves happily together in Los Angeles, we both have homes here, and not surprisingly she has become a genius with them. Obviously from her background married to Francois Graff for years gave her insight to crafting and creating a good piece. Hers however are different from the more established Graff diamonds. They are affordable, contemporary and easy to wear. The circular black and white diamonds look good for any occasion.

All Zeta's jewels are made in the United States from certified conflict free diamonds. That in itself makes me want to buy them from her. After seeing Blood Diamond, it is a relief to know that someone isn't being killed to get a ring on a finger.

Zeta is a great believer in Karma and what goes around comes around. The pieces have already been photographed on Meg Ryan, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Love Hewitt and so true to form Zeta is ahead of the game.

Wednesday 21 April 2010




I still love Los Angeles, and I am happy to be going out. Last night was the start of Brit Week at The British Consulate in Los Angeles and I bumped into the dapper and glamorous George Blodwell. Since I have arrived in Beverly Hills and joined Chemistry.Com I have met some delicious people but all have one thing in common they have are a little too relaxed. I really don't like sloppiness of the modern age, sweat pants just don't do it for me or bad shoes, I am terribly British. I am however quite willing to guide them, but it is embarrassing to patronise men when you want them to seduce you. I hand over the job to Georgie and you should be grateful all you men out there. George has dressed the stars of Hollywood from Sir Ben Kingsley, Piers Brosnan, Billy Bob Thornton, Forest Whitaker, Matt Damon, Liam Neeson and Michael Douglas, among many. His knowledge speaks for itself, he last night was the only one who looked at all attractive. Either the men in this town try too hard or they don't try at all. I have just been warned by my friend not to be too tough as the men's characters in this town are world class and the ones I have met, real sweet hearts. There are so many talented people in this town, they may be not all famous, and who cares about this thing, but they are interesting, kind and hard working. I never have a dull day. Contact
( So you know I like men usually in the same clothes, A white crisp shirt from Fred Segals, black jeans preferably skinny, and a black jacket from Comme de Garcons or Victor and Rolf, and good clean shoes)
George's ideas are tailored to your needs.

Monday 19 April 2010


Sometimes I get lucky, I am truly grateful that a freak of nature allowed me to stay in my favourite place. Los Angeles will be my main home if I don't leave soon, but it has made me truly happy. I am glad in a way that nature is fighting back, causing us to live unexpected lives.. If we read Nostradamus correctly we are well on the way to general collapse by 2012. Should we be worried I wonder, I think the answer is yes?. I worry more for my sons than for me. I have had a great life, and would like that for my children too. Well time will tell but this Volcano has proved to be life changing. Farmville and Petville have been put away for the Summer as I have too much to do.
This will put the election back in England into a spin, I love and loathe politics, it makes me argue too much on subjects that I don't usually want to talk about, and know little. How interesting are the discussions and issues of taxation, health and education? If we are sensible human beings we do want a safety net for people who cannot help themselves, and we also want low taxation. So nothing will seriously change, and the politicians cannot afford to be too outrageous. They are all so good nowadays that they are on the verge of being dull. In any case if there are only two years left on this gorgeous planet I will spend my time here in Los Angeles as much as possible. To put up with high taxation you have to have good weather.
My good friend Tobias Moss was planning to run for election for the Karma Party, he said that he had little support and so put his clever ideals on a back burner. Probably he would have been the most fun thing running, and the most voteable too.
Instead of waiting at the airport for the black cloud to clear I am learning to plant vegetables.

Sunday 18 April 2010

Jessye Norman - A Portrait - Biem Schlafengehen (Strauss)

Am I going to move
I think I shall
the sun shines
every day
and the grey cloud
alters my mood
I cannot think when
all around me
is dead and dull
I cannot think
when the
sound of glass is
heard as I shatter
my confidence
yet again
on the roads
surrounding my house
I cannot think when
there is no sound
of spring in the air
and all that is known
is lost in past lives
and discomfort


I rarely like other peoples dogs, they are like people to me, either I like them or I don't. I know immediately. People with dogs are so selfish with them, they assume that you will adore their filthy little puppy who lifts their legs against your white sofa, so I feel almost guilty about admitting that I am not crazy for this four legged affectionate creature that is dumped on my doorstep. The other day a dog came to the house and immediately wiped its bottom on the floor right in front of me. I didn't know what to say. Their appearance also effects me. I am fussy I like lean dogs with no hair, and only two breads, whippets and greyhounds. I just like their characters.I know what to expect, and I like to see something with a pedigree, not some mutt. I find most other breads annoying. I had two Italian Greyhounds that I wanted to give away immediately because they went to the loo all over the place, they also were continually trying to kill themselves, they were on some sort of death wish. Then there is the dog that paces up and down like a bored child and slurps about. People who feed their fido at the table drive me mad too, because the dogs then beg from you as well.

I like birds, they are beautiful creatures with colourful plumes who lead independent lives and sing crazily. Cats are independent too, but a dog needs continual walking and cuddling. Most people will think that I am weird and cold. I am sorry they were not brought up with eight dogs and they did not sleep with a whippet until they were 32, or clear up their mess, I did.

Fedora Butterfly by Erte

Fedora Butterfly by Erte

Sunday 11 April 2010


A long time ago I was into Gurus and Sages, I would attend lectures on how to get through life endlessly. There were many wonderful people, who helped guide me, and the one that meant the most to me was an attractive Indian woman called Gizi from Raja Yoga in London. I religiously attended her morning sessions on a Tuesdays for women only, to help me not make too many mistakes. Gizi is a pearl, a jewel of clarity and refinement. I actually retained most of what she told me. Of course I have probably forgotten some gems, but I remember being bemused by the act of present giving. She said we shouldn't do it because it put people in awkward positions, should they give you one back, and perhaps they couldn't afford to etc?. This I find a real bore as I love giving presents. I have fallen out with my best friend for giving him endless pairs of snakey jeans and tight white shirts, he felt I was too bossy and trying to control him. So I realise now that darling Gizi was right. Of course I just liked to dress him up like Ken and play with him as I would a Barbie Doll.

The same thing has just happened to me. I have been given so many beautiful things this week. A painting of me, my height, and with my alter ego. I have also had music written for me, and some copy write issues sorted out. The funny thing is I feel I deserve none of these things unless I pay for them. I automatically say how much?. I feel comfortable with that. Not paying makes me feel that I am a taker, I do not understand the generosity of strangers. I love to lavish my friends with billet doux, little poems and music, but when sent to me I think whats up, is someone going to kill me or rape me?. I have total faith in friends but others put droplets of water on the delicious cadeaux ruining the grace which they were given to me.
Then was the friend who I met over the internet who made me a new blog site.

Well I think there is a balance and we should give and take in equal measure.
But all of you out there with wonderful generous spirits thank you, my week has been the best ever.

Saturday 10 April 2010


What I want is a simpler time. I would like to have a happy merry life with someone who does not wish to destroy everything that I try to build or create. I have gone past the days of home wrecking and romantic torture. I just wish to enjoy the last few juicy years I have left. Riding a bike, listening to music, learning to write music. In fact there are so many good and fabulous things I wish to do that the hours flash past and I feel there has been so little time to fit everything in. The other day I went round an American University. I felt as if I should be there. I have become so happy here in Los Angeles, it is wonderful to wake up and jump out of bed to sunshine, this place is invigorating. So despite the Weiss report which I love to read each week talking about the Trillions that the States are in debt, and the general collapse of the financial world I was used to, there is a lightness in this place that no politicians can take away. Call it jealousy, call it superficial, call it what you like, Los Angeles has a special star that no one can rub their dirty little fingers on and make grubby. The people who I have met here have done everything to make me welcome, and there are many interesting things going on here. BAFTA is active, Honor Fraser and Jeffrey Deitch in the Art World, Tango dancing is available on every street corner and I love Henry Duarte jeans, Zeta Graff's diamonds, yes she has got me to like them, and now I have two baubles on my fingers. Then there are all the charities here helping others. Yesterday I spent my time singing Mozart with my son and his friend. How much culture do we really need. I create mine at home.

Thursday 8 April 2010


Should I bore him
to tears telling him what I
should I excite
him into false action
to flatter my
Should I explain to him
the dreary day to day
things I can't do
Why doesn't he
just kiss me
of wanting to explain
and torture
his clean soul
mine will never be as
pure as his
it was sewn together
many years ago
with little thought
of pleasing myself
let alone him
I think I shall lie
alone in my beautiful
cocoon and be
happy to justify
nothing but my
own pleasure.

Wednesday 7 April 2010


You want to have me adoring
you sick little bunny
then you will
kill me with my jealousy
as you take total possession
and put me in a box
and throw me down the river
tossing me aside
as the waves chop my
body up
leaving the nature of
the inland seas to
eat me up

Tuesday 6 April 2010

I wait for you
Half dressed
In pretty
Black stockings
I wait for you
In the light
From the
I listen to
Your thoughts
To try to remember
Your hands
But like shadows
My memory is ever
I come down from the
To discover
Nature has changed
Yet its only been
One day
And so much has happened
I feel I have been awake
But its only been a day

Sunday 4 April 2010


I went up the mountain to find goodness knows what. I thought it would change my life, in a way it did. The journey to Mammoth was heartrendingly beautiful. It was the stuff songs are made of. The landscape changed every one and half miles. I wondered how long it would take to walk to the mountain on the side of the road, before being killed by a rattle snake or raped by white trash. I wanted to go search for red indians, and prospect for gold.

Friday 2 April 2010


Some people are sent from God I swear. A few weeks ago I had a fan, or somebody who wanted to be my friend on facebook. I truly can't remember, but all I can say is that in about five weeks he has changed my life without even knowing really who I am. I could say he is a stalker only he is not. I could say he has an obsession only that is good too. An obsession for the unknown, something new, something well something. It really doesn't matter because I have a weird connection through the internet. This man has created a totally new blog for me and in the next few days I will put it on line. It is so chic chic that I burst into tears when I saw it. In the whole of my life no one has done anything so incredible, unpaid and unexpected for me. So thank you stranger, you have added to my life in a way that few have.