Friday, 30 August 2013

THE UNIVERSE?, I LOVE MEN AND WANT THEM TO RETURN TO THE ROLE OF PROTECTOR

 I have known about the power of the Female, but here in Venice, the mouth of the world, it feels like we have power again.  The artwork, although not original,  at the Biennale is a good reminder to remember this and the stupidity of man.Their seven deadly sins, that never improve. Also there were three female judges at the Film Festival and now there seemed more women than men. We have fought back.


I was with a man two weeks ago, who said to me that the Pussy, was the most ugly things in the world.  It was his stupidity and ignorance, along with his blindness for his own penis, that makes me write this.  Without this nothing happens, a baby is born with this. The vagina gives real pleasure,when and  when not in love, it brings forth life in all animals.  Men nowadays seem frightened of them, they are not fake.  There are rude jokes made about the female genetalia.
"How can you trust somethings that bleeds once a month" This is so incredibly insulting to the female, and there is a  need to re think.

The dressing down of  Venice comes with the facile nature of it's adverts, James Franco looking pissed, from the night before in the Gucci advert, at the entrance of St Mark's Square, as you depart from the boat. Do we really need clothes on a man to advertise Film? I am a fashion editor as well as having made my first film, and I say this.

My view s that we are changing sex, like rats, I believe there are more than just two sexes, but only the  real female sex can reproduce, and as yet,  thank goodness we cannot breed in laboratories.  A baby is made in the womb, the power of the universe.

As women in the West, we are not allowed to mention female power, it is distasteful, vulgar.  In China, the women were thrown down gutters, killed for it, and so on, around the world, a revolting propaganda, which I can only assume is caused to lower the population, which would be a magnificent thing.
Through the Art Biennale this year, in Venice, there were masses of portraits popularising the Vagina and the power of Women.
MAN IN A PRADA SUIT COLLECTING GOLD COINS BY  VADIM  ZAKHAROV

 I especially loved the Russian Pavilion, by protagonist Vadim Zakharov, nothing to do with it, but to do with ego, power, the disintegration of the human, it's baseness, it's love of the material and the stealing of a powerful nation by big business men, within their own system.
I loved this the most. The plainness, it's honesty.
With coins marked, trust, unity, love and freedom. Raining coins on one level, the making of coins on another, a man in a Prada suit, smart, pulling a bucket up from a hole to refill the depleting ladder of evan more coins.
Let's wake up and see what is real, what is fake?
The wonderful Hen Harrier bird of prey, again the female, a painting and a film by Jeremy Deller,  The British Pavilion taking its revenge on a Range Rover, picking it up and destroying it with two claws. Nature will return and win with full force.
The Woman is very real, and the animal in it, will win.
 I am not a man hater, I love them, I like  real  men. I don't want to keep them, I don't want to boss them around or make them cry. I want to make love to them and laugh with them, walk shoulder to shoulder with them, and that is all. Oh and my vagina to worship their very fine prick.


Thursday, 29 August 2013

CHARLES RAY AGAINST MARC QUINN, TRUTHS,WHAT DO YOU PREFER THE BOY WITH A FROG OR A WOMAN WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS

Two years ago I arrived and was engrossed with Charles Ray's beautiful sculpture against the magnificent back drop of ancient Venice. I loved it so much that I put it into my film The Gun the Cake and the butterfly. It tells the story of youth, a boy and a frog. The human being playing, half being cruel but playing. The frog can be put back to the sea to survive. Now Marc Quinn, one of my favourite top ten British Artists has done a woman, his friend Alison Lapper. Born with no legs and arms?  Truth too, the truth of taking medicine in the 1960's for morning sickness I imagined, 
the Thalidomide disaster?.  Of course one sculpture more attractive than the other, but equally truthful, and painful. A stark reminder to all that suffered with this dreadful sickness. Actually Alison, Quinn's muse was born with a chromosome disorder, a disease called  
Phocomelia.  
Congratulations to both artists for their stunning work. I own Marc's white elephant and I admire it every day. One more beautiful, the other more tragic.

Last night I went to the opening film of the festival, Gravity, with the famous and extraordinary artist Marina Abramavic.  With the kind invitation of Pascal Vicedomini, the Ichia Global Film Festival head.  A wonderful evening with Sandra Bullock leading the woman's cause for actresses. That we can be brave equal and have dignity. That woman are strong.  With the wit of George Clooney she succeeded in keeping our attention in outer space, we and she survived.  Clearly a film to pay school fees, an 80 million dollar blockbuster, that tried to fill our soul too. 

CHARLES RAY's Boy with a frog
Marc Quinn's sculpture of Alison Lapper who suffered from a chromosome disorder called  Phocomelia.


HAIR AND MAKEUP BY NATALIA SOUZA, Necklace by Roger Vivier, Gloves by Chanel,
Glasses by Alexander Wang

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

LIFE IS GOOD

Sometimes I do not know where I am in the world, I am so upside down and last night I was accused of snoring, heavens above, there is something so animalistic and un lady like about the idea of anything louder than a purr in bed. I always remember my Uncle say to me "Never scream in bed, never make any sound and do not move" There I was apparently sounding like a farm yard animal. My friend Rushka Bergman was positively horrified.
PASCAL VICEDOMINI HEAD OF ISCHIA INTERNATIONAL GLOBAL FILM FESTIVAL
Anyway I am in Venice for the start of the Film Festival. I went to the airport early and felt like death all day.  I was dying to go to bed but could not. I instead made myself ready for the Italian Vogue Party with Masarati for James Franco and  artist Marina Abramavic. I had the luck to spend time with her and Rushka on a boat before the party. I have recently fallen in love with her work with Ulay, the stories of their break up and the video showing their positive affection after many years.
 Actually it felt like deja vu. Two years ago I paid for a party for an exhibition of James Franco and his buddies. A rather incredible affair on an island with Pablo Ganguli, Liberatum. A long walk of film and art.
 James this time of course did not turn up, but Marina was there, full of life and it did not matter at all. She held the reigns beautifully as did Franca Sozzani CEO of Vogue Italia.
LUCA STOPINI, RUSHKA BERGMAN, ALAN PRADA, AMANDA ELIASCH

We watched the exert of the film she was making about James's life. His sex life, his views, blood and gore, all in quick succession, a cartoon, of his feelings and thoughts. Actually I wanted to see a lot more of it so that was good. It was a rainy evening and I laughed all the way back with Natalya Souza and Pascal Vicedomini.  He makes me feel like family. Singing through the empty streets my voice hollow.

AMANDA ELIASCH, RUSHKA BERGMAN AND MARINA ABRAMOVIC
NATALYA SOUZA

Saturday, 24 August 2013

MATCH MAKING SERVICE FROM MY HEART=I am only charging ten pounds for every dog that finds a home. No bitches please.

Out of the kindness of my heart I am opening a personal match making service. Only interesting people need apply.  It is free but donations to  the JR Whippet Rescue would be appreciated.  I have many people on my books and depending on your qualities, theirs may match yours.

Wednesday, 21 August 2013

TOP TWENTY TWO DELIGHTS OF MY LOS ANGELES

Back in England the sun is shining and thank goodness for normality. The guns are put away, no need for them on a beautiful day like today.
A few nights ago I had the incredible pleasure of seeing Billy Zane's film "Big Kiss" which was hidden away for ten years, while studios were fighting. Los Angeles seems to be either fucking or fighting.  Nothing is calm,  the wild west is out there, I swear that is why everybody is doing Yoga and visiting some guru, the land of make believe is always trying to be good.  Anyway his film is a light comedy about a jewellery theft in the South of France.  With thefts happening so often, I always used to think that the insurance companies were behind them, in this film there were  cat burglars and a team of athletic Russians. A thoroughly enjoyable evening.  The casting is perfect and everybody looks glamorous, of course I am dying to tell you the whole story but in this case I think a little distance makes it all the more fascinating.  Billy is charming always, with his handsome looks, he is very much the leading man. I love his sister Lisa Zane who sings beautifully in my film The gun the cake and the butterfly.

I have a new favourite place to buy clothes in Los Angles, Nikki Rich Clothing. Their jackets are the best, they make you look fabulous.  I had some fabulous photographs of me wearing one of them.  His lighting is totally fabulous he also helped me with my film. The mystical Boris.
There are so many places I love in Los Angeles I shall name them here.
MY TOP TWENTY TWO  LOS ANGELES FAVOURITE PLACES
1. Tonya Crooks for Eyebrows
2. Angela Kalinowski , Le Salon at the Sofitel, for hair is my favourite hairdresser there
3. Beverly Hills Hotel, for chic living
4. The Kings Road Cafe for breakfasts of bacon with Avocado.
5. The Beverly Hills Hotel by the pool
6. Soho House to watch the beautiful people to have meetings, and enjoy stunning views.
7. Marchesa for beautiful long dresses
8. The Fig and Olive on Melrose for a quick lunch
9. Fred Segals for everything, from food to the fantastic clothes and snaky jeans for men. They guarantee sexy legs after that.
10. Helmut Lang, Melrose, gives the rock chick look
11. Diana Von Furstenberg, wrap around chic
12. Loree Rodkin for rings to get your armour on
13. Martyn Lawrence Bullard For fabulous interiors.
14. Nancy Sill for Real Estate who has sold me two houses and really looks after me.
15. Macha Theatre for plays with a difference.
16. Nobu in Malibu, I love to go there on Sundays, where food is beautifully ordered by Alice Bamford..
17. Top artists from Billy Zane, Yassi Mazandi, Damien Elwes, Leadapron, Michael Flechtner and Nigel Daly.
18. The Helmut Newton Exhibition, CAA building, shows the real world inside the building.
19. LACMA for education and stunning paintings.
20. Andrew Freedman for public relations
21. The Chateau Marmont for star studded dinner in a gothic hotel. I love the little rooms at the back.
22. Gels.



I am now speeding through Hollywood having a great time in my customised Mustang, by Saleen.
Got four rude letters this week, it's the year of the snake I have to remember.



Saturday, 17 August 2013

KISS MY BOOTS

I am listening to a friend of mine say "I am only happy in front of a mirror" in Los Angeles, I wonder what they see in their face? Truth or lies?
Is saying sorry to another person so hard to do? It seems that arrogance and ego come in to play in funny ways. Another ego maniac passes saying "grumpy grumpy grumpy"
Some people just do not like to be ignored or loved.
I look hard at my face in the same mirror and say to myself, I shall only have people around who make me feel good, who are good for me. I am not bending over backwards to give myself oral sex, but at the same time I am also not going to listen to somebody who is egocentric and who only thinks they are good.  There are many people in this town who are talented, MANY.  Many do not have jobs. They are survivors. Tell me what direction to go into because you get lost in other peoples intellectual property. I am then told "Just turn gay and get lost in this city, you will go far"


This city is essentially middle class, with a surburban feel to it. I am used to the chaos and smog of  the City of London. I am loving the sunshine and everybody saying "Good morning" as they pass.
This week was brilliant, I saw the Helmut Newton Show here and an incredible film on his life. I met him with Maurice and Josephine Saatchi in the South of France. He was a hero of mine.
The show was underneath the CAA offices. Of course I bumped into a young guy with loads of scripts "are they any good, I asked" he said "He had not read them yet"
Helmut's women are hidden behind smoky eyes and red lips, nude wearing stiletto shoes.  The women perfect in their female splendour.  Truth is not there, they are fake. Big and bold, sexy with handcuffs, and unshaven. These women rule the world as I enter the  Annenberg gallery. These women are not afraid. The drip sexuality.
I spent time with Nikki Lund who let me try on her entire couture collection which had been worn by stars, I felt so glamorous. Nikki looks darling with a guitar and a smile. She is truly my new best friend here under the bright blue sky.
Kiss my boots, fuck the planet, life is good.
Hey I am nominated for best female director in Burbank's International Film Festival and nothing could be better.

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

MY SUMMER HOLIDAYS ARE MINE.

The only time I really miss being married are the Summer Holidays. I used to have great holidays in the South of France at the Eddie Barclay villa,  Maison du cap, in Ramatoille, with  loads of friends and their children.  It was fun. It was hardwork. I used to get up early and go to the market in St Tropez and buy fresh fish, and food.  With the house full, there was masses of work, and I loved it. There was swimming, tennis, dancing on the lawn to the sound of  Mozart, The Doors and Bob Dylan. The canaries loved Mozart and  Charlie used to sing too.  Jack  played tennis with oversized Head rackets and shoes. There must have been at least ten children everyday.  My friends too. The children have now grown up, I am now visited. The boys have their lives. Charlie is singing in France and Jack practises football.  
My Summers are busy with making my life exciting, it is up to me to make it  interesting, nobody else. Freedom is a beautiful thing, it can be lonely too. I have to remember  "It's not how many breaths you take, it is the moments that take your breath away" Genghis Kahn and Maya Angelou both said this.
I am forcing myself to drive. I was never brilliant, but now I am able to drive almost everywhere and I love it. I used to have a chauffeur to watch over me, like some crippled being, now I have taken charge and can zoom up any motor way. Chauffeurs, however glamorous made my moods terrible, I felt I had no privacy.
I have driven along the sea edge, at sunrise and sunset, to  Malibu for Fish and chips and Nobu, so delicious.  I have dropped friends off to the airport and picked them up simultaneously. I am hitting the road Jack and nobody will stop me.
For instance, despite being exhausted from travelling, going to film festivals and working on my film,  The gun the cake and the butterfly, has now got into four festivals. Winning The Ischia Global Film Festival, The New York City International Film Festival, best art film.  The New Media Film Festival and The Bel Air Film Festival in October.   Isabella Sfez insisted that she wanted to  take photographs of me in my house in Los Angeles. I am a photographer and was definitely not in the mood.  I was ratty and needed peace but they are  a stunning memory of an hour I had with her.



My view is now, after being with the positive influence of my yogi friend and actress,  Justine Glenton for two weeks is that I will  say "yes" to everything.

Friday, 2 August 2013

WHY DOES CELEBRITY AND A CUCUMBER GO TOGETHER

Everybody on the planet is ruled by the Goddesses of celebrity with Jennifer Lopez  fighting up there to be the Virgin Mary and George Clooney the ageing Jesus.  If one more person name drops I shall stab them because their idea of success is not mine.
Thank goodness for  Woody Allen and Tennessee Williams. Life would be a whole lot more dull without these two, who walk hand in hand in Allen's brilliant new film, Jasmine Blue. Cate Blanchett, who played the part of Blanche Dubois in A street car named desire, two or three years ago in Australia,  gives an Oscar winning performance. I defy many women to beat her this year, and Hollywood I am sure will recognise her for her brilliant work, or will they?.
It is a year where women are seen suffering in film. Lovelace which is beautifully acted by Amanda Seyfried is compelling. Lovelace suffered so much for a few measly dollars. 
Another girl acted well is Vanessa Hudgens who completely changed herself for Nick Cages film On Frozen Ground. A little adorable cutie with great style who in the film plays a beaten up whore who is raped with black eyes. 

I must mention my film too, which Justine Glenton acted in, The gun the cake and the butterfly. Although I say it myself, it is an award winning film, Justine should win an Oscar for being with me for three years as well as for her passionate performance.
Emmanuelle Seigner who was in Velvet and Fur directed by Polanski was quite incredible, she played the ditzy out of work actress. I photographed her for Jimmy Choo shoes a few years ago.
I love her ability. V and A is a really engrossing film,  and was a brilliant play. Emmanuelle pulled it off, carried by the music of Desplat's. An incredible combination.



Los Angeles is non stop busy, wonderful. Yesterday I went to a fabulous art show on Fairfax, the street for Skate boarders, where the men are so tall and big. I walked into the most funky looking hair salon on the planet that fits nicely into the sparklier side of LA. Think blue Pucci on drugs and it was definitely on the Goo.
Now I am about to enter the world of my friend Lisa Zane tonight who is singing at Vitellos in Los Angeles.
That is another one with talent.
In the meantime I have dumped hanging out with an old boyfriend who mentioned that I needed Lithium and prescribing it for me as we walked around buying art. He also mentioned eating disorders at least twenty five times, and that I was mad. Well I am, and he was replaceable, and replaced. I had fun though looking through his i phone replacing photographs of his girlfriend with me which he instantly had gobbled up into his waste disposal. 
Why is buying a cucumber so sexy for a man? I was just thinking about making a salad, in Whole Foods, instead men hassle me for dates and my autograph. Maybe it was because I was in gym gear and hadn't had my make up done?.