RICK OWENS TAKES THE PISS, a fool and his money are easily parted.

"John Collier John Collier the window to watch" The advertisement for mens suits we used to listen to when I was young... Before I go any further I want to say I love Rick Owen's wife Michele Lamy, and I adore my coats and jackets of Rick Owens.  I love her ateliers which are like a Dr Bernardo's home for weird children. Piercings, faces covered with studs. A community of misfits. Michelle sits as their "Mother Hen".  I suppose for Mummy, Rick got a lot of press. She also also looks after Gareth Pugh, who I won't have a word said against. I am head to toe in his clothes this year.

However, this sweaty looking good-looking androgynous boy at Rick Owen's show, is no advertisement for Rick Owens, or fashion of any sort, see below. If he had a magnificent cleavage, then perhaps it would be interesting.  All he needed is a piece of loo roll between the cheeks. I gather  from Rick's comments, we are Owen's therapist, as he never felt confident about his body as a child? Has one of my favourite designers now hit rock bottom?. Since there are no barb wire or studs, it is not fetish wear.  It is not sequins and kinky boots gear  either. I wonder, does the garb come in all sizes and colours. Is this day wear? He apparently swears it is school boy humour. A good laugh.
What is it about these designers who slag off England, Jews and now this,  pressing the self destruct button, why do they feel they can't be expelled, and are above everybody else?

Can you imagine the eight times Oscar winner Edith Head doing this?

It is base, it is unattractive and most of all it is indecent, and children could see this. The only photoshops I saw was a tiny blur. Clearly we can all be fashion models. With "Strap on Jane" at least you did not have to make a cup of tea.  This is the lowest form of wit. Despite the compliments from my favourite journalist, Tim Blanks, and my great sense of humour, I am bored, not impressed.
"If this is daywear I cannot wait to see the evening wear" says my show girl friend Miss Julia Laverne, sarcastically. He insults classical sculpture with his ego so out of control, he is not Leonardo de Vinci, may be he should have more plado as a child?
The problem is that designers think they are great artists when in fact they make great clothes, unfortunately they are treated like rock stars and not tailors.

My point is this, when we are having  political problems with Muslim extremists, and the French are not able to get their pencil sharpened,  surely this in Paris right now, is not intelligent? If Rick wants to feel better about his youth then get his own cock out. He should not expect his models to do this. Do the models really want this in the closeup section? The internet stays forever, does Rick really want to be owning up to mental problems, he probably thinks he has been very clever, yet sadly it is very déclassé. He believes that he believes a fool and his money are easily separated. I am not so sure. Owens is clearly not watching the news.
I wonder what Elizabeth Taylor and Marilyn Monroe would say. What must the Muslims think of this?
Why is it okay to say it is art or fashion, it is making fashion a political problem, therefore fashionistas become the problem. This is only going to put petrol on the flames. To convince people to do it. It shows you that everybody has run out of ideas.
There are certain types of Muslims who believe that we are totally debauched, and this will do us no favours.
I love fashion, the beauty, new ideas, but this once talented man, Rick Owens, now needs therapy urgently, not just the advice of a clever Michele Lamy. One minute it is Rick Owens and the next it could be the House of Oxfam.

RICK's POINT OF VIEW
ANOTHER LETTER

'Psalm' from Michael Nyman's Six Celan Songs

HOLIDAYS AND SAND, make me want to sleep on the moon.

I don't understand the concept of holidays. "You need a holiday from a holiday" said my hairdresser Gia Sinatra from Le Salon, at the Sofitel Hotel, last week. Personally, I have never liked them. I have often found that having got on a crowded aeroplane, to some destination without white fluffy towels,  that the airline has downgraded me,  and I am  shoved next to the loo on the plane, with people who are so fat that I have nowhere to sit. When I arrive my bags have been lost and are unlikely to turn up ever again. On top of that I have jet lag so that I miss the first five days, as I fall asleep precisely at the time I am meant to get up. I run a bath and I find a scorpion the corner, which I don't is a scorpion but I know this much, that I learnt in my brief biology lessons, that some crawly insects can kill.
Then there is the sand problem. I personally hate sand, I wear black thick tights and huge black boots to avoid any contact with those irritating small grains, that infiltrate my underwear.
On my return home, feeling huge, I jump on the scales, where figures on it, that I don't recognise stare back at me, and I have to go on a major diet for the next three months, eating lots of green and alkaline products that smell and taste weird. I can't remember eating so much, yet I don't fit into any of my clothes.
Worst of all I have to pay back all that I have spent. Since I have fallen out with my best friend,  because she drank and smoked too much dope on the holiday, and I have nobody to complain to.

I am cutting back my travelling activities and starting a new life and calm and sanity. I am going to work on my love life and enjoy am imagined work load from my bed. Perhaps in my twenties I was right, I thought it was a good idea to spend all my life horizontal, in-between sheets, as nothing meant anything, that was until I went to RADA, where I found out that everything meant everything.

FROM KINKY BOOTS TO THE LOOK OF A MAN WOMAN IN A SUIT, the new NEUTRAL GENDER WORLD

I have always loved dressing like a man,  androgynous, with sharp white shirts and black suits, I used to like the masculine lines on my very feminine body, I liked the severe look of tails, the look of white tie. My tails by the designer Kenzo, have since been stolen by son Charles, I will definitely get them back though.   Like Marlene Dietrich I wanted to find the perfect mans suite. Kenzo used to give the most incredible cross dressing parties in Thailand at the Amanpuri. The boys would all wear high heels, make up, pink and gold dresses, and Kenzo himself was the most outrageous of the lot. It was not about sex so much as enjoyment. Dietrich is quoted as saying that she much preferred the comfort and elegance of mens clothes not to be a cross dresser but because she just enjoyed them. Kathryn Hepburn followed as well.  In 1930 Marlene was put into a suit to be more alluring to the audience, this worked, it was a overnight success.

Men throughout the ages whore high heals and wigs, and then suddenly the Victorians and the Second World War made it all so dreary.

Many of my male friends don't exactly want to wear a dress but they do enjoy wearing more flamboyant clothes than are available for them nowadays and they are turning into the biggest spenders too. There is the man, the gay man, the girl boy and the boy girl as we know, and the lines are merging. I am now living in a world where you can be with the people who we are in love with, no matter what their sex is. I was having my make up done at Charlotte Tilbury's  counter in Bergdorf Goodman,  and there were as many boys at the counter as girls. Obviously they don't like regularly wearing bright red lipstick, but if their skin needs help they will definitely whip on a cream and a light foundation. Why not? Why not wear a little eye liner or eye makeup?

  Men are wanting and have wanted for sometime more individual clothes that they originally only found at the back of wardrobes. They sometimes want a more feminine shirt, or a jacket with something different on it.

I bought a coat by John Galliano made for men a few years ago in Harvey Nichols. I bought it in the smallest size and then had to alter it. My son bought another one, in the next size up, and looked incredible in it. We are always fighting over it. Other people want it too.

Now thank goodness for the modern neutral gender attitude of Selfridges who have now catered for all the sexes with their new floor. Thank goodness for their outward ideas.

Look how happy the cast of Kinky Boots were dancing on stage in a pair of red high boots, and you know none of the audience was surprised. Boys just love it as much as us girls.

I can now hopefully whip into anything on the floor at Selfridges that I desire. The interchangeable sexes are here to stay and their clothes too. There are no gender wars now, we are allowed to be whatever we desire.

Richie Sambora

STING - The Last Ship

THE OSCAR SCORE WARS and a WEEKS WORTH OF THOUGHTS IN NEW YORK

OBJECTS OF DESIRE
In this months Vogue UK I was considered for the page "objects of desire" Giving hope to all women over 38. Good news considering that I shall be dieting to my special weight for the Oscars next week.

WEIGHT
After Christmas despite the endless amount of handstands and yoga lessons with Bhesat Ahmet and Justine Glenton, the chubbiness has to disappear so I will place myself into the special care of the Mayr Clinic next week. They have opened their redecorated premises in the heart of Austria. Thank goodness for that as it was a trifle austere but a good deal more comfortable than We Care just outside Palm Springs, which I could stand for only two hours.

COPYING?

ALEXANDRE DESPLAT SEEMS TO HAVE HAD THREE NOMINATIONS

Last week I watched and listened to The Globes where there were as usual some surprising moments. The Oscar Nominations were equally controversial.  I am mad about music scores. I wish "Birdman" had  had a nomination for its  improvised drumming score by Antonio Sanchez, as at least it was completely different and nobody could accuse it of having been cut and past?. Apparently it was disqualified for having classical music included in the score? What about Whiplash, another great film with original music by Justin Kauflin, where was that in the award nominations?.  There are so many films with classical music included in their scores that have been up for Oscars, so heaven knows what on earth that means?. Talking about scores, the composers could be a little more individual, I have perfect pitch so I listen carefully. I used to play a game with my family as a child with music "Who copied whom". My grandfather, the film director Sidney Gilliat, loved it, my mother an opera singer loved it too.  I loved singing and the piano and can read music.  I could hear moments from "The King's Speech", "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close", Philomena and Benjamin Button in "The Theory of Everything?"  Mr Johansson's score is so influenced by Desplat's scores that originally I got confused and thought the writer was the award winning Alexandre Desplat himself. I do not know the exact copyright rules, and cannot spend hours looking at the individual phrasing but in the old days if you copied more than fourteen bars you were plagiarising.(actually I thought it was eight bars).Anyway, if only it had been true, it would mean that, like "Lion King", Desplat would have had three nominations in one category which includes Hotel Budapest and Imitation Game.. Well I suppose if the Oscar goes to "The Theory of Everything "Mr Desplat can be pleased, even if it is an unusual way to get an Oscar? My opinion is that dreams are realised by being original. Perhaps, like the film The Artist, where Ludovic Bource won an Oscar for his score, it was the last we heard of him? Anyway I do not have to fear for Desplat, he is a winner having scored more than one hundred movies, and been nominated and won many. The other problem is that when the editors put together a film they put music from other films and the director very often says "we want something like that" It is a pity, because imagination then becomes poor.

MR JOHAN JOHANSSON HAS NOT AN ORIGINAL THOUGHT FOR A BRILLIANT FILM FOR
"THEORY OF EVERYTHING"  Johan Johansson is indeed clever just he followed  obviously the advice and not his soul.

I love Norma Desmond and Marilyn Monroe but I do not need to copy them I can just be influenced?

POSTER
I am very excited I shall be on Sunset Boulevard for my film, The gun the cake and the butterfly, in a couple of weeks.
Due to the other film companies involved.

ON SUNSET BOULEVARD IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

People from all walks of life seem to copy, from fashion, art, makeup and film ideas. Perhaps we are all one big melting pot, but I like things to be individual, for true expression to be shown, even if you fail.   I certainly do not like to be thought to be like someone else.  You can be influenced but never copy. Take Francesca Woodman who was the original contemporary female artist that tore herself inside out. A very authentic female artist who committed suicide at 21. Who knows what she would have achieved, but one thing is for sure she has certainly left her mark and is one of the best kept secrets in art since Hans Bellmer. Boy has she been copied.
I don't mind stealing but don't get caught.

FRANCESCA WOODMAN

GALLIANO
On another note I am thrilled that the very original and exciting fashion designer John Galliano's clothes are in full swing for Maison Martin Margiela. If only I had been able  to see the show.

THE LAST SHIP
 In New York I was lucky enough to listen to Sting's musical "Last Ship" I say lucky as originally I heard and watched it some years ago in Paris, and I hated it. I have changed my mind, despite the fact it was about Ship Yards in Northern England, I was excited by the energy, the music, and the appearance of Sting himself. I was glad that he worked on this project so long, that he did not give up. The Last Ship had changed so much. Broadway failure may be that a play or musical is shut after 6 months, but the night I went there, there was not one free chair in the house. A failure. it certainly was not. Too much concern is about money and critics and not enough about people trying out new ideas. Perhaps England would have been more appreciative?
KINKY BOOTS
I also saw the very popular Kinky Boots starring the excellent Andy Kelso and Tony winner, Billy Porter, supported by the charming Jeanna de Waal.  This time it was set in Northampton, and was about the closing of a shoe factory. Again energy was exuberant and of course we all love a man in a dress or two, or do we? In any case I wanted some of the casts costumes. It was all glitter and glamour with a many less good numbers than Last Ship but no gloom at all. The shoe business may be precarious but everybody likes a pair of good high heels it seems. Afterwards I was lucky enough to meet the cast who were totally charming and offering to re dress me.  I do like a good pair of boots.

DAYS
The days have gone so quickly with amusements at the Charlotte Tilbury Makeup counter, where you can get ten different looks in an afternoon at Bergdorf Goodman and your hair as usual beautifully coiffed ready for anything at John Barrett. I then managed to squeeze in endless exhibitions Alex Katz, The Design Museum, Charles March's photographs and phew the week went by in a flash. New York is excellent and although freezing I wish it had not gone so fast as I could happily stay another week. The wall street journal's review on his show proved that it is a huge success.

HANDSOME LORD MARCH and PRISCILLA WATERS

AGE OF CONSENT
On another note, shouldn't  the age of consent should be agreed worldwide. Should the law be different in England to America?. If it different, confusion arises. Personally I think the age of consent should be 16.  Younger than that, if a girl is allowed to massage clients for money  by her parents, then surely her parents should be held responsible ? My mother told me early on about rape "A girl can run faster with her pants down than a man with his trousers down" Anyway it should be made clear so that rich and famous men and young girls know the score.

FREEDOM
So much has happened in the last month, I am je suis Charlie and je suis Page Three (The Sun Newspaper). Both of which we should be fighting for if we are correct.

CANCER
Please support Amy Watt's struggle against cancer.

@Iholdamy'shand

J.S.Bach - The Well Tempered Clavier: Book II: Prelude and Fugue No.12 i...

RED CARPET LIFE

What to wear for the red carpet award season?. Yesterday for The BAFTA tea party I dressed in a black Valentino Day Dress with a white inset in the front and a white bow, I removed the scallop hem as it actually did not suit me. A woman made me feel great,  by saying, when I left the Sofitel Hotel, "I want to be you". I had also in my wardrobe a black jacket with a white collar, by Mui Mui and it luckily matched. It was pouring with rain and my eyes hurt a little as the glue from the extra lashes made my eyes water, so thank goodness for my new glasses from Chanel with a gold trim.

BAFTA tea party

I sat with the actress from Ida whilst I had my hair done at Le Salon in Sofitel. A new luxurious private salon with A lister stars from Film and Television having their hair and make up done, and I knew I was in the right place. Usually I am in my room, for beauty, but this time I wanted to experience hotel life at this time of year.
The actress that starred in the Polish film  Ida had never been in a film before n'or was she an actress, so she sat there a little overwhelmed, and she was with the daughter of the director of the film. Ida has been nominated for 65 films. Totally impressive, imagine filling all those forms out? I made a film last year, The gun the cake and the butterfly and managed with my brilliant PR, Xaque Gruber from Andrew Freedman to get 7 nominations and 5 wins. Those film festivals took up all my time, so imagine the effort and work on 65.

Le Salon at Sofitel, for THE AWARD SEASON.

Anyway getting back to the awards where most nominees had definitely had been "spray tanned" and turned orange for the evening. Most of the mens hair had gone three shades darker than normal so that they become truly unrecognisable,  except for the tasteful George Clooney, whose luscious grey perfect hair makes him the winner. His wife Amal the best dressed in a simple black Dior dress with white gloves all such good taste. Saying the correct things, how much he felt solidarity to Europe and he and his wife wore pins to prove it.

I loved the drawings by

Which turned into totally stunning and beautifully made dresses  that covered up the jokes made during the evening. There is something about award ceremonies that makes everybody educationally subnormal. All too gushing with awkward gags.

Pleased for Eddie Redmayne, in The Theory of Everything, Hotel Budapest, Julieanne Moore, The Affair.

COME AND TAKE MY SHINY SHARPENED PENCIL.

We want to be the unique humans we are. If in England do as the English, after all in Dubai we all cover up our blonde hair and blue eyes. I am very happy to be covered up in places like this.

"Between you and  me, they all the same to me?"

In England we will always show our legs on a hot Summers day. Why is it only the women and not the men? Why must women only, go back thousands of years.   Next it will be we have to wear the black curtains all the time and not have an education? It is wrong on so many levels.

"Je suis Charlie"

Are the Muslim's going to be checking back issues of Bunty's incase Mohammed decided to play hockey with the girls?

If they are in England I suggest they join in, have fun, be free, and be themselves. If their religion requires them to kill someone, start with themselves. The Jihadists can move on. Why do we wait for these things to happen?. It is getting worse every day. I shall not be intimidated. When did Bin Laden come down from the sky and smile on them with his big Mike Tyson teeth.
Where is the humour in their lives? Where is the love in their lives? No they just want control and anarchy and go back two thousand years. It is the school playground, "I will bully you until you give up" syndrome. You are talking to all of us, Great Britain has always been free, even when under Rome's control. When we fought the last war, we sang songs about Hitler having one ball and Goebbels having no balls at all. Although the casualties mounted up, our true free spirit came out, and we returned the compliment. This is not the Twin Towers or the Blitz but it will awaken the spirit of Blighty and if awakened every radicle in Europe is in for a big surprise.
Thank goodness these terrorists were expired as I do not want to pay personally for people like this in prison with taxes. When they cut our peoples heads off they do not care how gruesome the filming is, they do it with full impact on You Tube. When we do  a simple drawing they want to kill us?.
Please can the government consider not taking these people in, when they have been fighting,  it is down right stupid.  If you tick the wrong box on an entry to America forget going there ever again.

If they wish to be an antagonist, could they do it elsewhere?.
If they do not like England and Paris, don't sponge of their systems. It is lunacy. If they want to run and cause anarchy stay within the barren lands they come from. At the moment they are given free houses, free education and free medical treatments. If they have been fighting abroad they should not be allowed back into England or Europe. Our boarders need control.
If they wish to be an Arab with huge amounts of body hair and burkas they should consider going home. It could after all be a man with a bomb?.  Why not shave their heads and wear another head piece. They could be walking towards you or away. They look like Darth Vadar in drag? You cannot tell where they are going to, until they move.

"Men keep asking me what colour are my eyes"

I was talking to one woman one day who was asking for directions, when I was trying to help her, I spent twenty minutes talking to the back of her head. If you don't want me to see your face, at least show me you are not geezer signing on in another name.
It is a total cop out. If you see a nun you know where they are walking. Why are they worried about a cartoon on Alla, perhaps he has a direct bloodline to Micky Mouse and Daffy?

"The ax is for the left overs".

Political correctness has been the cause of all this, now let's stand up straight and sort this out.

JE SUIS CHARLIE.

I live under British Law, and under British Law, a woman is allowed to wear a burka, and is equally allowed to wear a mini skirt. We allow everything provided people do not steal or murder. Religion is a philosophy and not an absolute, we should be allowed in 2015 differing views.. As the bells are rung from Notre Dame throughout France we should remember this is likely to happen in England too.

Freedom of speech is what we have in common. It is what we have fought for.
Charlie will go to press next week and print a million copies and not their usual 60,000 run.
Since the rise of Isis we are on alert, and yet we have many Muslims that have travelled to Iraq and other Middle Eastern countries, living free in our communities.
We do not have the resources to watch these people therefore in my opinion if they have been to Yemen Syria they should not be allowed back into England, or Europe. Terrorists should not be allowed to receive our benefits and education. Surely this has to stop?

Without freedom of the press, freedom of speech, freedom of opinion, there is no democracy.  France believes in these values, England and the US too. Together we must join forces. We are not afraid. This is an attack on our beliefs and values, we cannot live in fear.
Humour does not kill people and it appears that people without humour, kill.