Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Manchester Art Gallery's trailer for Angels of Anarchy: Women Artists an...

BRAVE LOS ANGELES WITH THE SURREALIST ADVENTURES OF WOMEN ARTISTS

The woman surrealists have always interested me, they are often unknown, not recognised working in the background to their male counterparts.   It is why I live in Paris in a Mallet Stevens building that was once the artist  studio of Tamara de Lempicka.  Paris was after all the heart of this wonderful movement in the 1920's.  Of course it soon moved to the rest of the world to Prague, London, New York, Mexico City and parts of the Caribbean.  Women had to move from the social confines of Europe and form their own societies that permitted them to work freely. Often lesbians they gave up normal married lives for this freedom. As stuffy Europe was inhibited so they moved to the Americas.  Yesterday I spent a wonderful morning in LACMA, the Los Angeles County Museum of Art where they have created an incredible exhibition that anybody interested should go to.
There was so much to see, the work of Lee Miller, Frida Kahlo, Dorothea Tanning, Kay Sage.
I found I was fascinated and horrified with the breasts on a plate of Lee Miller's and Ruth Bernard's photograph of a baby in a hand.  So much to see.
I fell in love with Louise Bourgeois's huge spiders long ago.  I wanted to live with one in my bedroom.  The terrified men would leave immediately. Here in the exhibition she had made sewn together figures making love into sofas.

I highly recommend this wonderful exhibition and well done Los Angeles for being brave enough to put it on when there are so many strong Male surrealist artists,  Dali and Man Ray,
among them..



ORLANDO Trailer

THE QUEEN OF ECCENTRICS, Tilda Swinton

Last night I went to a great event hosted for Pomellato, in Beverly Hills, whose colourful contemporary jewellery I love. Tilda Swinton is the face of it.
Tilda Swinton, is the year of the Chinese Rat, like me, and without trying she turned up looking ravishing in cream silk pyjamas. She is having to do endless travelling for her film "We need to  talk about Kevin", and clearly looks ready to win almost anything. An edgy disturbing film that I stopped watching when the hamster disappeared down the waste disposal.
Tilda decided long ago to be a movie star and she has succeeded.
I met her and she was able to concentrate on saying hello, a remarkable quality when you are being introduced to hundreds of people. Her alien blue eyes penetrate.


I remember going to her exhibition at the Serpentine Gallery in 1995, run by the imaginative  Julia Peyton Jones, who was once my sister in law, here, Tilda  lay in a glass box, called The big sleep.  Since then she has moved from Indie Film to Hollywood Blockbuster with ease, and artist muse to alien, she is not from this planet.  I admired her in the beautiful film, Orlando by  Sally Potter.
Her individual ideas about love sort of match mine if what you see is true.
There are other wonderful eccentric British Woman, I have often been described as one too, but Tilda reigns as Queen, and I do not mind being one of her subjects.




Saturday, 28 January 2012

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover Trailer 2

Five Easy Pieces Diner Scene

CASH IN COUTURE

Couture week in Paris, I was in Los Angeles moving and shoving, however I did notice that again one of my favourite designers, Jean Paul Gaultier caused a fuss.  His catwalk was filled with look a likes of Amy Winehouse who was perhaps one of the most iconic singers to hit the boards in the past few years.  It is definitely preferable to Beth Ditto who he has also previously applauded.  Both however were not healthy and definitely not wise.  Is it stupid and a bad example to young impressionable people?  No, just that these two woman have influenced his style that season.  Fashion designers are doing so many collections a year that they need to grab at straws and attention seeking headlines to get noticed, and in turn for people, like me to write about them and put them onto our fashion pages. After all, fashion is a multi million dollar business.
I actually loved his take on Amy's look, corsets, multi coloured wigs matching the clothes, beautiful hats by one of the most talented hat makers, Victoria Grant, tight tight skirts. I certainly bought very little  from the collection inspired by Beth.  Sadly being very overweight, even if it is attractive, as it is in Beth's case, is not good for your health as we all know, and neither is taking drugs.
This collection was far more interesting than the rest.  Jean Paul Gaultier is in Show business and without the masters, John Galliano and Alexander Mcqueen, we so need attractive flamboyance in this very repetitive business of clothes which is so meaningless yet so joyful too.

Friday, 27 January 2012

AM I THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS TOWN WITH REAL TEETH?


I have just been assured by the famous still photographer, on Tinker Tailor, Jack English, that I am the only person in the town of Los Angeles, with real teeth.  He does not like to leave me for a second, and has walked fifteen times into my room, as he thinks that I am not safe.  "At least this new house has shutters and is secure" he has just claimed and walked out of my room again.  In fact it is like living in a safety deposit box, nobody can get in, and I can't get out.  He is very busy driving around his friends and my maids.   "Los Angeles is like living in a perpetual David Lynch movie", he says smoking a cigarette and looking downwards.
I had thought about cutting back and not having my hair and make up done everyday but I have been told that you need to 'up your game in this town', with a new address and a new life in the Hollywood Hills.  I am near enough to the Bird Streets, that I can visit my hipper friends,  and  whip down my hill to get my gels done at Nails by Design, in a swift no nonsense way.   My pals seem to prefer it, I can tell as I have had a stream of people nodding with approval, as they walk through the house.  Is it the street I am living in, the way I have done it, the easy access to Sunset or the glamorous men who live next door to me? I have no idea?.  I will just say that I happily took red roses to both the men  living on either side of me. one being the dishy Aaron Sorkin.  His teeth looked natural, of course a few weeks ago I hadn't a clue who he was.  I was told by my agents that that he was very famous.  I was unable to have a proper conversation with him and felt like Princess Diana when she looked at Prince Charles, as he said "Sorry I have not shaved" and I felt embarrassed. Quite frankly I was only too happy to see such an attractive man so early in the morning, and so glad that he did not nag me for the awful noise and mess that I had made, bashing the house about over Christmas.
Now there is only the outside to be done most of the inside is finished thank goodness by my very efficient, handsome builder, David Tamayo. He is one of the few people in this town who has kept to his word and done his work on time
My neons are up and the lovely Michael Flechtner who created the neons I made, came and hung them today.  I so love his cheery personality,  He created a stamp last year and made my show "Peccadilloes" that I was given by Jonathan Brown at Leadapron.





Justine Glenton in "As I Like It"

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

A little Marilyn and I miss Justine Glenton

Today Justine Glenton posted a small section of her work that she did for As I like it, I so miss her and the production, it made me homesick.  I did not prefer the production, it was just different and it was the start of something I worked on long ago.  I loved working with the team in Los Angeles too, I adore Elizabeth and Lisa, just I want to feel the rain on my face and my friends.

Today I went to see a documentary on Marilyn Monroe  made shortly after her death directed by Terry Terry Sanders, with unseen footage and photographs taken from a new book by Susan Bernard which were taken by her father Bruno Bernard.   It is fifty years since she died and every day she is in newspapers, on billboards and remembered.  Marilyn had a hellish childhood not surprising she killed herself.  The book and lecture gave another dimension that has  never been shown with such sensitivity  in "Intimate exposures".  No other woman on this earth has been so remembered and immortalised. This evening tried to unravel and understand what lay behind this myth. Did it succeed?  I am not sure anyone can understand why people love her so much.  My guess is she is what every woman wishes secretly to be, and what every man wishes his woman was. Marilyn was just Norma Jean, and acting a persona which I feel she could not live up to or cope with, who cares, she still created it, thank you.  A wonderful evening.



Monday, 23 January 2012

It was pouring with rain today and Angela Kalinowski, my wonderful hairdresser who works in Melrose and I decided to escape my new house, leaving the builders to finish. We went to look for  pretty dresses but could not find any, but I had fun in Betsy Johnson, and have bought one or two fairy numbers, little puff dresses of black fake organza, they look adorable. I shall chop them off of course and change their shape, I even do that to Alexander Mcqueen long dresses.  I remember a horrified shop assistant  in the Alexander Mcqueen shop watch me as I took some scissors and cut off 3ft of silk chiffon. I had to the dress looked too dull.

I am dreaming up ideas for my garden here in LA, I want something that can survive on its own. I found the photograph below, and something like this would be great. Over the top and surreal with a piano in the swimming pool.  My fantasy for the day.  I clearly have too much time on my hands.

A Separation trailer - in cinemas 1 July 2011

Peter Medak photograph taken by Christopher Medak


Saturday, 21 January 2012

The Ruling Class (Peter Medak)

The Changeling (1980)

A REMARKABLE INTERVIEW WITH PETER MEDAK FOR BAFTA

I was fortunate enough today to go to an interview of Peter Medak's at BAFTA, Los Angeles, given and hosted by John Alan Simon's [who recently directed my play "As I like it" starring his wife Elizabeth Karr,Lisa Zane and Charles Eliasch].  I say fortunate because to listen to old time movie people is always a pleasure.  Medak is famous for  making films such as The Ruling Class with Peter O' Toole, The Changeling, The Krays, Romeo is Bleeding and many  other enticing and extraordinary works of art.  He is a good looking man in tight jeans and a wonderful sense of old world charm, very alive with thrilling anecdotes.  His friends all turned up  in fast cars and the same attractive personalities although they must have been over seventy.  Trendy and up to date they were not even middle aged, this lot make half the world look old and tired.
I met Peter in a noisy restaurant in London in the Summer through my friend Maya Fiennes. We instantly got on, he said he had known my grandfather Sidney Gilliat and the Boulting brothers.  He told me about his first moments in England at Tidworth army camp in Wiltshire five miles from where I had lived as a child.  He arrived uneducated and not able to speak anything but basic English having just escaped from the Hungarian Uprising in 1956.

THE GREAT PETER MEDAK
ANTHONY RICHMOND, Director of Photography
Judd Bernard, Producer
The Conference room at BAFTA

He also told me an incredible story when he was seven, which I wish he had mentioned today.  It was during the war, his housekeeper had served soup for lunch, which they were about to eat, when she noticed the Nazis were loading Jews onto trucks. His Father made the family leave immediately and told them to look down when they left their building.  Peter told me that as he came out of his building a Nazis shot a man in front of him,  Peter kept moving, looking down, they walked until they found a hiding place and eventually moved to the country where he was kept hidden in a village next to the Gestapo.  It felt like several years but it was actually only a few months.  The war ended and he and his family were able to return to their flat in Budapest.  On entering it  he could see into the next door apartment block, walls were broken, all was war damaged except the plates which were in the exact position as when they had left the flat several months earlier, with the soup still in it.  The passion he told this story is such that it has stayed with me.
He had always wanted to make films from an early age, his Aunt, an Opera singer, had given him a camera and some film when he was young and he got the bug immediately.


Today was the same, some of the images shown  will stay with me a long time,  The House of Lords in the Ruling Class which was filmed full of skeletons and cobwebs, with flashbacks to people talking and then another fascinating sequence from The Changeling, where a ball bounced down a flight of stairs will definitely haunt me too.


Peter has claimed that he has walked out of more movies than he has made. he claimed that he made the Ruling Class for 1.2 million dollars with 16 weeks shooting too.  It was also a brilliant play which took several years to make into a film.  He claims that he worked at a time in films when two people got together and talked about an idea, and then later made the it happen.  This is not so easy now.


Peter likes to work with actors from the inside so that they feel safe and do not know that they are being directed.  He says that he has made lots of friends and definitely he is well respected in the fickle world of Hollywood.  An old timer he may be, but he still has a lot of powerful images to show us, and fire still in his engine.


 A wonderful morning escaping from the task of finding my computer charger and putting my dresses away.



Wednesday, 18 January 2012

WE WANT AND NEED FREEDOM OF SPEECH

How can we allow this bill to pass in the US about freedom of speech. It could lead to disaster?. Last year I had a maniac who is now in prison write vile things about me on a blog, some were true some were untrue and just his opinion, which by the way was not his truth.  He had enjoyed eating and sharing Christmas with me, but he felt he could write it because it is freedom of speech.

I could therefore agree with this bill that would stop opinion but this is not good.  The only good thing was that it would stop people from illegally downloading their interests.  However, it is against democracy or what I think means democracy. It infringes freedom of expression and artistic sharing of ideas.  It  could be seriously bad news, even if it meant that I would legally be able to shut up some nutter?.

We must understand what is happening and then truly act.  It sounds like a dictatorship to me.. Let's have it truly discussed and explained?.

I am not political, I just like having a nice time  and a good time with friends sharing things.

ON THE MOVE


Last night I gave an intimate dinner at the Beverly Hills Hotel for the wrapping of my play As I like it, it is always a weird feeling to end things, but good to move on. It was not easy to do anything in this town.  Underneath the smiling faces of fake teeth and  fake tans this is a thinking city.  I am grateful for the team I had, it was very tricky to translate  something very English and very me, it was either loathed or loved.  If one more person asks me to act I shall vomit,  I hate it.  I was only too happy to hand it over to Elizabeth Karr,  Charles Eliasch and Lisa Zane to act out my ideas under the direction of John Alan Simon. We all had a funny time last night and were singing along to a rather bolshy pianist in The Beverly Hills Hotel who forbid us from singing.. Good news though, the BHH has wonderful concierges who make up for pianists who lack my musical appreciation.

In any case I am now moving yet again so I have a lot to think about.  This morning I was packing up yet again and will not not allow anybody to put anything into drawers that is not meaningful.  There is always so much rubbish, receipts and old letters, change and odd bits of jewellery.

The house that  was owned by Penelope Cruz is now transformed by David Tamayo who kept to his word, I loved it before and I love it now.  I walked into the house and knew it was for me, and with my numerology adds up to 11.  Anywone who knows about numbers knows that is good luck so let's pray.

ADVISE FROM AL DUBIN IN THE 1933 HIT

Verse 1)
What’s cute about a little cutie
It’s her beauty not brain
Old father time will never harm you
If your charm still remains
After you grow old baby
You don’t have to be a cold baby

(Chorus 1)
Keep young and beautiful
It’s your duty to be beautiful
Keep young and beautiful
If you want to be loved
Don’t fail to do your stuff
With a little powder and a puff
Keep young and beautiful
If you want to be loved.
If you’re wise, exercise all the fat off
Take it off, off-a here, off-a there,
When you’re seen anywhere with your hat off
Have a marcel wave in your hair
Take care of all those charms
And you’ll always be in someone’s arms
Keep young and beautiful
If you want to be loved.

(Verse 2 - from British sheet music version)
What makes a girl’s acquaintance bigger
It’s her figure and poise
Her duty should be to retain it
To maintain it for boys
Old age isn’t real baby
You are as old as you feel baby

Monday, 16 January 2012

GLOBE WINNERS LIST


Best Actor, Musical or Comedy: Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
Best Director: Martin Scorsese, “Hugo.”
Best Actress, Musical or Comedy: Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn.”
Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer, “Beginners.”
Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, “The Help.”
Best Foreign Language Film: “A Separation.”
Best Animated Film: “The Adventures of Tintin.”
Best Screenplay: Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris.”
Best Original Score: Ludovic Bource, “The Artist.”
Best Original Song: “Masterpiece” (music and lyrics by Madonna, Julie Frost, Jimmy Harry), “W.E.”
TELEVISION
Best Series, Drama: “Homeland,” Showtime.
Best Series, Musical or Comedy: “Modern Family,” ABC.
Best Actor, Drama: Kelsey Grammer, “Boss.”
Best Actress, Drama: Claire Danes, “Homeland.”
Best Actress, Musical or Comedy: Laura Dern, “Enlightened.”
Best Actor, Musical or Comedy: Matt LeBlanc, “Episodes.”
Best Miniseries or Movie: “Downton Abbey (Masterpiece),” PBS.
Best Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Kate Winslet, “Mildred Pierce.”
Best Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Idris Elba, “Luther.”
Best Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Jessica Lange, “American Horror Story.”
Best Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones.”


Genlux Magazine :: Luxury Fashion & Beauty

Genlux Magazine :: Luxury Fashion & Beauty

THE RAVISHING OLDER WOMAN


The beautiful older women  today look incredible and have the look of "Do not fuck with me" etched on their faces.
Slim, ravishing, well dressed, rich and witty their bodies look like age has not touched them. Madonna, Elle Macpherson, Cindy Crawford and Crystal Brinkley.
It shows you should do everything if you wish to stay in the game, exercise, the knife, up keep to keep you still looking viable and sexual.
A man likes women to look viable like Raquel Welch coming out of a cave.  Of course everything has to look easy. Beauty has to look effortless.  Of course it is not.  Work hard on the body and the soul, make both as perfect as possible, compassionate, sexy and still easily excited.  Watch your eyes, disappointment easily shows in them.




Sunday, 15 January 2012

THE GLOBES AND A LAST PERFORMANCE

My play, As I like it, closed today at the Macha Theatre in Hollywood directed by the successful critic, director and film lover, John Alan Simon.  The play has been full almost every night and the reviews interesting, both positive and negative, altogether a successful run and great exposure for Elizabeth Karr, Charlie Eliasch and Lisa Zane, directed by John Alan Simon.
People came up to me loving it, but of course it is not a play for men really unless they are a total fan of "Amanda".  They tend misunderstand it.  One nice couple came from San Diego, I was so happy to meet them, the wife was a reader of my blog.  The designer from Balmain arrived with Rushka Bergman, she looked magnificent with huge black glasses and a huge entourage of ten people.
I am changing the play so that the boy's part becomes the main part and the women support him.  I think it will be more interesting for my son, in any case I do this for him, and if I could I would buy the other son a football team.

I watched the globes with great eagerness as usual with a film producer and film director Peter Medak, much more fun than watching it uncomfortably in some hotel.
Of course I won a globe, I should have known that Michelle Williams was going to win by the mix up yesterday at the BAFTA tea party, when the paparazzi became excited and either mistook me for her or for Marilyn.  Anyway it was very funny and it is often done.  I go down the street in Paris, and men often sing Boop boop di boop.
Angelina Jolie looked  beautifully best dressed in a white satin dress with a slash of red round her shoulders.  Most women wore Zac Posen, Elle Macpherson and Kelly Osbourne, wow they looked good and I totally approve of almost everything he designs.


The Globes were more interesting tonight than normal and felt very international. The Artist, my favourite film this year won three awards, paving way for more creativity. Ludovic Bource, french composer won the globe for best score, he was witty and amusing as he spoke, no sign of Alexandre Desplat which was a pity, this town is quick to love the new. Jean Dujardin was named best actor for his performance as a silent movie actor, whose work dried up with the arrival of the talkies. Oh I do love the French.
The Descendants did well  with best film and actor going to the charismatic and elegant George Clooney who has just hit 50.


My word the 50 year olds are looking good these days. 

With Meryl Streep winning for her performance in the Iron Lady. Octavia Spencer was best supporting actress in the Help.
Madonna looked incredible, and I so loved her film, WE even though nobody else seemed to.
However the Globes don't give an accurate picture of what may happen in Oscar night, after all Social Network won the Globes and Kings Speech did best on Oscar Night.


Harvey Weinstein seemed brilliant as usual, he had a very successful night, with A week with Marilyn, The Artist, The Iron Lady, and he was called a God.  
Film Director, Peter Medak and Amanda Eliasch at the Art of Elysium



My house sale has been very successful full to the brim with people, ypee.





Saturday, 14 January 2012

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NOMINATIONS... A walk on the BAFTA tea party red carpet.

I love Hollywood, I walked down the red carpet at the BAFTA tea party to flashing cameras and boys saying "Congratulations  on your nominations and your brilliant performance" Needless to say it has taken me at least two hours to realise that the photographers thought I was Michelle Williams. Actually I have been assured that I would make a brilliant Marilyn on several occasions, once with the stylist Rushka Bergman who transformed me into her, and another time with Isabella Blow for Tatler Magazine, and now it has  been proved, signed and seeled..  This is all nonsense but happy nonsense. Michelle Williams is 30ish and I am 49ish ish. So I am very thrilled. The award week end has been fun so far and I shall be clearly collecting my Globe on Sunday.

MERRY BULLSHIT

making love and sharing your body 
with someone
else is the real truth
living lies is not for me..
real love is the only thing.
ambition for rubbish
is merry bullshit..

HOUSE CONTENTS FOR SALE


1625 HOUSE SALE LOS ANGELES, 1625 Summitridge drive, 90210 open today, Sunday, Monday, 9am - 6pm Tricia Beanum +1323 309 3838

Friday, 13 January 2012

HOUSE SALE 1625 Summitridge Drive 90210


Tricia Beanum has entered my house like a whirlwind.  I am moving and tomorrow and Sunday I am doing an Estate  sale with all the pieces I cannot use in the next house so if any of you wish some interesting furniture do come to the above address between 10am - 6pm  on Saturday and Sunday 323-309-3838.

Monday, 9 January 2012

A LITTLE LIKE MARILYN

Last night I went to a Week with Marilyn, after a day in the sun with my friend, the film director Peter Medak.  I was a bit disappointed with the film and I hate to say it. All you readers know that I love Marilyn with a passion and therefore would normally wish it well.  We know that Michelle Williams is not Marilyn but at some angles I was fooled at least.  The styling was correct, in fact everything looked correct but where was the cheeky wit and smile?.  I am sure the problem is weight?.  Marilyn was rounder and her breasts were larger, she was hugely sexy and she is a very hard act to follow. Marilyn has been  in the papers every day of her life and death, and her persona known to everyone.  I don't know what it was, I just did not believe either Kenneth Branagh as Sir Laurence Olivier, who is an incredible actor, or Michelle.  Something was lacking and perhaps these people are too hard to follow, after all the real persona Norma Jean and her studio made her into Marilyn Monroe?.
Alexandre Desplat composed the music, the composer of the moment.. he is just about everywhere, but he is unlikely to win an Oscar this year for Harry Potter, Ides of March or A week with Marilyn.  Unlikely I think because he has done so many better scores for film.  My favourites being for Lust Caution and Girl with a Pearl Earring.

I admire everything that Harvey Weinstein produces, he has incredible taste.  Am I was the only person who thoroughly enjoyed WE?.  The costumes were incredible but then I am also a fan of Wallis Simpson.  I like strong ballsy women and Madonna did a great job..

A BLOOMSBURY BLOG

A BLOOMSBURY BLOG

Thursday, 5 January 2012

AS I LIKE REVIEW..


AS I LIKE IT is I have to say, one of the strangest things I've seen, yet completely compelling.  It's like nothing I've seen before.  Sort of absurdist, sort of confessional, sort of mysterious.  And what a bravura performance.  I can imagine how challenging it is to be on stage, virtually by yourself,Elizabeth, and responsible for driving the entire thing.   Anyway, very avant garde, European, will be very interested to see what others make of it, as well.  One of those works that needs to be discussed.
A C,
LA

WEIGH YOURSELF AND DON['T FORGET THE OLD WARHORSE

My play has started at the Macha Theatre and we are onto our second week with two good reviews under our belt.  I have been so busy that to write this blog I have to be awake in the middle of the night.  The theatre is rented out when we are not using it, to an acting class, and the  teacher wants to cut the strings of the picture frame which was delicately placed by Trip Haenisch whose ideas are followed throughout Los Angeles. Some people have no idea how treat other peoples property.
It is a new year so new promises. Tango lessons have started along with new vows.
I am starting a cleanse. Will it work and will I be able to stick to it.?  I am not as good at dieting as I used to be. This time I am trying out a new company. Pressedjuicery.  They do the same as Izo cleanze and deliver to the door at 7am in iced bags.  I hope it tastes a bit better.  Usually I want to break it about 3pm, but need to do this immediately.  Last week my gallstones hurt so much I thought I would pass out. I have to recover from the delicious food I consumed.
I shall attempt to jump on the scales, be horrified and yell at myself, "You must be thin".
Sometimes I look in the mirror and think "Why is thin meant to look good"? I like my roundness.
I have a nice layer of fat, it looks pretty in the mirror and feels good in the dark, then I say rubbish it looks terrible. These are  fights I shall have with myself.


Last night I went to see Spielberg's Warhorse.  Critics need to really think before they write. I was ready to hate it because of their vile words.  It is a moving tale and should be seen by everybody.  Beautiful acting and Joey the horse should be nominated for an Oscar, he gave a majestic performance. The two and half hours passed so quickly and  the photography took me into another world.  Another nomination should go to the dog in the Artist. Those two are in my opinion. this years best actors.



Tuesday, 3 January 2012

LA SOCIETY

LA SOCIETY

PURPLE IN MY ARMS

I miss you 
darling
 just suddenly  
I dreamt of  you 
purple in my arms 
purple with fury 
of souls touching 
I missed you 
just a little.
I wasted my thoughts 
and time
yet I did not
I want to cry 
but
cannot
I cannot because
I was given
time
that 
was 
foolishly forbidden
yet not
yet
I miss you darling
purple in my
arms
I miss you


OVER YET NOT

When he left I tried to be brave
he said he needed to 
re group
and go home
I thought I would die
I was calm
but I was not
I cried
I was told he would
be back 
I saw him 
again
and
he asked me if I 
I had a good holiday
of course I did not
I could not
for years he had been a silent
post 
in my life
silent yet there
hidden
but not excluded
I decided to change
my life
to change my body
I had enjoyed 
sex too much
with 
him
I had to 
cut my body up
improve it
make it virginal
locked up
to
keep other men
away
I love this man
it is over
yet I know it is not.