Thursday, 29 October 2015

"Surta è la notte", Sofia Dimitrova


Take off your clothes
just one more time 
No silly
this moment
let me smell you
let me kiss you
let me love your hidden
the cobwebs of time
tangled in my hair.
Let me breathe the air you
I love the feeling of your hair
your strength
grabbed between my thighs
to music
with lanterns
and yes I have got
used to Debussy 
under my Windows
but never used to you
I want to feel every curve
in your spine.
People come and go
I close the door on their faces
as they open it
I run
I cannot forget your skin
and love that you gave me
I will wait forever
the clock of time
which does not exist 
and meet you another
time in another sphere
of my imagination.

Sunday, 25 October 2015


How I made my film The gun the cake and the butterfly was by filming it in my bedroom, my surroundings and house. I filmed it in a figure of eight mapping out the script, then I went back and filled it out with actual documentary footage to bring out the depth of thought, re writing, and adding footage to it in the parts I felt were necessary. I did not know what I was doing, I did not know how to make a film, I have only been to drama school and I did not care. I think it is important to let go despite my grandfather being the film director and writer Sidney Gilliat,  I just wanted to make something that was raw, passionate and as truthful and creative as I could with no rules about what was right or wrong. Although I tend to like pretty I did not care if it was so.
In Hollywood and the BBC there are rules. rules, money, awards and creative perfection.  Hollywood four years ago was told off for not having enough women, this year its full of strong beautiful women's voices. Carol, Brooklyn, The Danish Girl, The Lobster, Suffragette. With wonderful actresses like Alicia Vikander, Cate Blanchett, Saoirse Ronan, Rachel Weisz and Cary Mulligan.    All the films have suggested that the Madonna is back. The Woman is so strong and again as she did in the past, she could rule the world. There is as we speak Hilary Clinton running for Presidency, despite the Clinton's murky past they are held in high esteem.  We women have to take over the world.  Why would film make me think of this, it is a great reflection of what we are thinking at the moment. The man is rational but the woman believes in building and creating.  ISSIS is made of young men. They don't know what they are building, freedom fighters and instead of building they destroy and knock down their sand castles.  Women naturally wish to build, but they wish to build for eternity. They have a sensibility men do not have. I love men, but just look around you, and in this world of money, only a few still have their balls left to run the world or two run it with compassion and efficiency. They manage the world with money and accountants. The head of the BFI is a woman, Amanda Nevill and the world they have created within their organisation is a balanced affair.
We can take this and translate this to other world.

Films made today are too perfect, the sound, the actresses, the costumes,  because the are directed by men who are very educated and there is a problem.  They have too much education for the jobs available, there are too many business men.  There is no depth, accuracy is not artistic it is accuracy. Technically perfect as the films are, you need a balance. Mistakes technically are interesting and take you to a new dimension.  Mistakes in world politics are interesting too.
Would you say people in the 1950's look like a Vogue dressmaking pattern catalogue? I don't think so. There would be some people with dress sense and some people with no sense at all, this was shown in cleverly in Carol by Sandy Powell when she shows incredible elegance dressing Carol/Cate and make clothes for Rooney Mara a bit more ordinary until the last scene.
What makes The Danish Girl, is the language is so ugly to the ears that it becomes beautiful, the music follows this by Desplat. The scenery spartan, wet and although I can't remember a rainy scene, I had a feeling that it rained a lot. This fits in with what I am saying too, the women are strong and powerful.
The fact that the it is beautifully acted by Eddie Redmayne, Eddie has become Lilly and so a goddess.
The most important stories in the film world are those not spoken but actually hidden as in life. The most interesting love stories are not when a person gets married, but when it is unspoken. I like romances where you can follow each others eyes across a room having a conversation but nobody knows you are.  You are living a whole story that nobody else can see like a photograph in your pocket. It is people you are not talking to. This is the truth.  What people give up in an emotional sense is what makes a film and makes real life. This was shown so beautifully in the above film.
Brooklyn was wonderful at the BFI yesterday but for me the last scene is the best scene when she gives up her romantic life and goes back to what she has committed to. This reflects the world.
Let the women have more power and the Madonna is back.
Women always decide what they wish to commit to and make work. The men can then follow with their technical brilliance.

We need to wake up and support those woman in power whilst bringing balance back to our lives.  Films are showing us this. Men are providers and technically perfect whilst we are nurturers and our world needs healing. Let it be so, but lets ignore too pretty unlike the film world, even though men prefer it,  but make it real with depth.

A big thank you to inspiration from Ines and Barrington this morning.
The Dark Theatre.

Friday, 23 October 2015


With so much happening last week I decided to take a trip to the country and visit beautiful places in England. I drove for 580 miles to see family, travelling to Cornwall and Devon.
Totally stunning even though it was pouring with rain. Visiting Lew Trenchard Hotel.  Charming romantic gothic grey stone Manor House turned into a luxurious hotel in the middle of the Devonshire countryside, three hours from London. You need to be madly in love there or you could be depressed if you have to face your life. I loved it. There were open fires and home made jams. I felt perfectly at home.
I had a yummy lunch beforehand at the Arundell Alms at Lifton Place, Dartmoor. Oxtail stew and pate with my family. Cosy and very busy for this time of year. A far cry from the fashion and art worlds I was walking around last week. Afterwards I fell in the love with Mylor a sleepy seaside town in Cornwall. I could actually live there.


Previously I had been with my lovely cousins  for two days. An eye opener for me. They had a passion for Made in Chelsea, the programme which if you follow their advice, you will definitely make huge mistakes. Telling the truth could guarantee a total collapse of your love life?  I live in Cheyne Walk, and there is little about Chelsea in it at all. They were so prudishly pretentious yet they were sleeping around and telling tales. The demise of the The Sloane Ranger has led to a bunch of super rich Euros and Essex girls taking their place. The cast did all the things that when I was young would have guaranteed a slap round my face. No humour, no dress sense with pseudo upperclass accents, the real Sloane Ranger can tell the difference, just like a knock off handbag. You might make huge social errors copying Made in Chelsea if you intend to climb that ladder.  The answer is do not confide in anyone if you wish a quiet life, so I decided to leave for greener pastures. The most likeable person was Binky, all long lashes and nails.  Victoria Beckham gets away with white jeans.  Should you wish to you can study Karl Lagerfeld and Chanel.

Now there is real opportunity to see true fashion and style at the Saatchi Gallery. I suggest all you Chelsea Girls can take an opportunity to learn the real art of fashion. Ravishingly put together, with diamonds and film, Karl takes us through the enchanted world of Madmoiselle Prive, the life of Chanel  with a contemporary twist. Karl never gets old and tired. He does 8 shows a year with ease as he swiftly takes you into the modern era glamorously. Taking over the whole of the Saatchi Gallery he combines fashion with art. What better place to show the best that beautiful women of the world have worn since the 1920's, when hats and gloves the norm. Born towards the end of the 19th Century, Coco Chanel originally came from humble origins and became as we all the most stylish woman alive. Never boring,  her private life was as exciting as the designs she drew. If you have not already gone, fans of Made in Chelsea should throw away their tanning lotion and fake eyelashes, and take notes from Coco on how best to steal a man and stay quiet. A dressmaker who learned to seduce some of the most powerful men in the world. Despite  topiary trees in the Saatchi gallery, greenery was needed for my soul to recover the indulgences of last week. For me, there is nothing quite like the white collars and cuffs of a Chanel Jacket.

Wednesday, 14 October 2015


I feel I have no feelings left for love. Oh yes I have, but Tinder has just managed to nearly kill them off along with other sites like Guardian Soulmates. I feel that falling in love across a crowded room has been forgotten and exchanged for a cross to the left and a dash to the right. I have even got women applying which makes me laugh, and no I am not gay.
As Syria is being bombed to death and refugees collected in Hummers we humans live on a diet of surreal words from sad people that are desperate and lonely. Personally I am ready to change my life completely. Apart from the fact that Google Alert has just told me that one of the loves of my life has a new girlfriend.  I am not interested in meeting men in fields and woods for quickies. I like real things and thank goodness I have a fabulous memory of meeting a man in a train, and being made loved to in a cupboard and a lift. If I had to live on a diet of shredded wheat and  Tinder I would slit my wrists. The good thing though is there is one for exclusive coupling called Raya. At the moment I am crossing off the riff raff on Tinder. Guardian soulmates is full of left wing Mr Corbyn's so be careful if you are right wing and like a shirt and tie.

The Cocktail Party by Tom Friedman

The art world is also a reflection this year of the world. There were padlocked cages with bottles for the incontinent, balloons, neons, sparkly painting and plenty of images of destruction and death. My favourite was a Bathroom suite, depicting the body in its various forms by Ann Agee in blue and white tiles that she had created. Look carefully and you will notice bodily functions from washing to mobiles painted delicately.  Fed up with destruction and realising Glenn Brown 's drawings were about the best thing at Frieze, but the originals cheaper and prettier, delightful as they were,  I looked for Simon Lee's stand and he had the clever idea of changing artists daily, today was Toby Zieglar. There's a reason to go back?. There was plenty of opportunity for selfies against art that you would not buy. Huge pieces of mirror, some drums with skulls, and people at a Cocktail Party. Fun but not really liveable with. With about a thousand people arriving all at once promptly at 11am, contemporary art as we all know has hit the big time.

There are incredible shows at Sothebys including Alfred Taubman's collection on sale; Anita Zabludowicz's Gallery; Gagosian Gallery showing LA talent Jonah Woods;Patrick Senguin's gallery highlighting Prouve's architecture at Claridges, The Liberatum opening of Robert Indiana's work at 105 New Bond Street; art is now more exciting than ever. There was the show at Phillips too. The true brilliance however was at Frieze Masters where I could have bought nearly everything I saw. I fell in love with a Klimt drawing of a nude and a Schiele drawing; the story of the Dubuffet stand which was so stunning and so much more. From good to bad there is art for somebody and it is definitely the week to be in London. Now that fashion wants to follow the game The Saatchi Gallery threw its doors open to Chanel's history, Madmoiselle Prive and last week Louis Vuitton were offering cars to view their show and so on. With everything so watchable and the traffic so bad, there are not enough hours in a day.  PAD for furniture and the stunning I loved the butterflies that as you touched them, flew off by Dominic Harris, birds flew and flowers changed. Genius technology.   LA performance artist Millie Brown.. She swung from the ceiling with drops of crystals hanging from her. There were hundreds of people on the pavement causing a traffic jam on Dover Street. Living between Los Angeles and London, she creates artwork from her bodily secretions normally.

Millie Brown swinging from the ceiling.


Then there is the @BFI @London Film Festival, where work like The Lobster, another love story,  is being made. Terrible, horrendous and brilliant. This an horrific thought as there was nothing positive about the film at all. No pleasure in watching it for certain. Moments of brilliance were needed in order not to walk out and complain. Who will actually view and understand this film other than pseudo intellectuals? Was it clever or was it crass? Bordering on the insane the cast had no answers either. Rachel Weiss clearly said she did not have a clue. The director having won prizes already at Venice Yorgos Lanthimos did not have an answer. So for me there was no depth, no hope yet...there was. The "Lovies" like only positive reviews but this cast opened the net. Sure it will win prizes, but will the public like the film, like the one last year that won Venice,  for me it's like The pigeon who sat on a branch. Another crazy film,  beautifully shot. You the viewer have to be happy not to understand the story line. Worth seeing because it is a film that creates discussion if nothing else. There is always room for the innovative.

Pablo Ganguli from Liberatum and Amanda Eliasch

Suffragette was goodish. I say goodish because truly we think of Emily Pankhurst and this film focused on poverty played honestly by Michelle Williams. but we women are happy we are allowed to wear mini skirts, drive and make love when we want? As Saudi has been made Head of Human rights for the UN, this film is even more necessary. Women are lashed, stoned and strung up in Middle Eastern countries for small misdemeanours.  We live in a world where the truth is in the whisperings and the conversations not had. Perhaps that is why the art world has a true following and a film like The Lobster gets made because however ridiculous the subject matter some small grain of truth may be said or thought about? The ego is huge and fragile I must remember. People were lying on the red carpet in protest for women round the world. With a stoic cast Michelle Wiliams, Helena Bonham Carter and Meryl Streep as Mrs Pankhurst,  you cannot go wrong.

Amanda Nevill, Amanda Eliasch and Henriett Tunyogi
The true gem this year at The London Film Festival, full of strong women's stories, is Carol about a woman who wishes to leave her husband for another woman, the conflicts within her, the loss of her child. Beautifully acted by Cate Blanchett, another winner for the awards. An amazing score by Carter Barwell that takes you through Carol's heartbreak and her final resolution within herself to deal with her sexuality. A sure winner. Brave and beautiful with ravishing costume changes designed yet again by Sandy Powell. The other costumes brilliant this year are in The Danish Girl by Paco Delgado, sensuous and tragic, beautiful and exquisite. Music is obviously my passion and this year the I love the scores from The Danish Girl by Desplat and  Carol by Carter Burwell, both are beautiful.
The BFI FF closed with a feisty performance by Michael Fassbender in the film about the outstanding work of  Steve Jobs. An insight to the world of technology and design which he mastered. More like a rock star he was charismatic and rude in equal portions. With a supporting cast including Kate Winslet you could not go wrong. At one moment I found myself crying it touched me when he would not speak to his daughter and said she was not his. Of course this happened to me a long time ago and I met my Father perhaps ten times in my life, actually I think much less. Girls without Fathers certainly suffer.
Photograph by Dave Bennett, here with Henriett Tunyogi  at the opening of Steve Jobs. I wore Saint Laurent with a Versace bag and Henriett wore a contrasting pink ensemble by Desquared2  that clung to her beautiful body and a bag by Vivienne Westwood.  Here in the The Mail.

Tuesday, 6 October 2015


Two things I feel enthusiastic about this week are Putin and the collection by Sarah Burton for Alexander Mcqueen. Putin because amongst our lily livered politicians he has showed courage to sort the mess out that was made by someone else, without too much fuss, and of course doing so he has left himself open to criticism, but not by me. He was authoritarian, gallant, elegant and articulate.
When all the world attention was on the behaviour of the Pope and how wonderful he was, Putin quietly spoke. I could easily become his mind control slave. Hopefully he can improve the situation in the future for the poor Syrians so that there is no need for them to escape their previous lives forever. Merkel should not win the Nobel Prize, but actually Putin should be considered. Of course he is protecting his Naval base and a pipeline.
Back to Paris to the lightness of fashion, despite the world falling apart it seems in full swing this fashion week.
I totally loved the fashion show of Alexander Mcqueen. Sarah Burton, is not Lee Mcqueen, she shows us hidden treasure in Granny's trunk, to live with what we have, rather than find something totally new. She feels  like she would like to find  solace in Grimm's Fairy Tales and nostalgia, to a magical land where the war and refugees are forgotten for a second, leather jackets were worn with long narrow chiffon and distressed skirts. The hair was worn up in a  Pre Raphaelite style, and for twenty minutes we were taken into a other world where life was full of pretty thoughts and dreams. Mostly in cream the materials were structured yet distressed. The only vibrant colour was shown in some dashing red jackets worn over black long dresses.

Oh so sweet and oh so young, girls boys, Karl teaches us to travel.  Fabrics felt young as the brilliant Karl Largerfeld has no trouble pushing boundaries with fabric. Pure wool, with brightly coloured chiffon. The models walked to the music sounded as if it was from a Japanese department store. Egalitarian to a fault yet so exclusive, Karl looks after all editors giving them all great seats. I loved the make up and hair  still managing to keep this house cutting edge.If only our Airports looked as good, the Grand Palais is a standard hard to beat. Rush rush rush.

Tutti Frutti elegance. Up to the mark respect to Mr Lagerfeld. I always dress up for the airport just incase somebody has to rip my knickers away.
Keep light and happy, during this period when everything appears to fall apart. After all we all want to be here together forever in this plastic and light world.  We were shown this week three unmasked musketeers who tried to make things work, Putin, Lagerfeld and The Pope.

On another note for thanksgiving it's a time to reflect.
Labels are limiting and thought patterns too that are not yours but somebody else's. This month I was called "beautiful, tacky, tasteful, brilliant, talented, a demon, articulate, petulant, calm, reckless, amusing, witty, well dressed, common, classy a granny, a sex pot, thick, intelligent, patronised and encouraged, right wing, left wing.  Earlier this year one girl from Los Angeles said she wanted to put her stiletto heal through my head when I told her she might be late for her red carpet entrance at the Oscars.  Nothing shocks me anymore as other people's opinion is just that, not reliable good or bad.  The problem is when somebody's ego is huge and their self confidence is fragile. I am at an age, 55, when I do not need to look as if I am expecting an erection when I see a man.  I welcome the work of  @Boohoo2Bullying. To sue would be as déclassé and  tacky as the people spilling the beans. Of course by now I realise that when people speak it is a reflection of themselves.  Human politics like war and opinion, is similar and very destructive, petty as it is variable. At this time of year it is a good idea to think about how to improve yourself and how to help others.Everybody could be kinder. The most important qualities in a person for me are loyalty and humour. Mostly a person hides behind the very thing that they say they would never do. Despite the glamour, the work on themselves, the talent, when they open their mouths, just ugly comes out.
I do not need anything thank goodness as I get older, the more unencumbered  I am, the better. I like to be free. When people are argumentative, I am happy to deal with my loneliness and move away. I do not need constant approval and do not feel insecure or criticise. I just need to enjoy the pleasure cruise with my close family and real friends.
There are  still  eight languages to learn, Pop Art, Bach, long walks, Architecture, writing and philosophy, to enjoy. Also something to consider "If you cannot be on your own you will not fully understand how to love or like anything" There are fashion shows to see.
Luckily, after this I am on a journey now to visit a Palazzo in Venice of great beauty where the views are as good as the Canaletto's it houses.


1. Eric Buterbaugh's candles and scent, anything and every delightful smell will do.

2.  Any Loree Rodkin ring would be incredibly generous, I also love her collection for
Rick Owens.

3.  A chair from Mark Brazier Jones to add to my collection.

4.  A make up set from Charlotte Tilbury with a video on how to create illusions.

5.  Tobi Tobin chocolate would be delicious.

6.  A small Chanel bag/Wallet so chic.

7.  A hat by Victoria Grant

8.  A round the world airline ticket

9.  A ticket to Tony Robbin's  seminars to help create life's great moments.

10.Ten books from Book soup for my coffee table.