Sunday, 6 April 2014


I listen to my children and when my son Jack, bought me some mood altering vitamins I thought it was time to muck out my stable. I think we all need this sometimes.
I don't want to bang on about being some sort of do gooder, but two weeks on my own have felt great.  I  like to travel with an entourage, so it was an experience, being on my own, that I had always dreaded, feeling free from what felt like stones on my back.  I like to be an individual, but with so many things hanging off me, I feel like everybody else.
I have problems like everybody on the planet, they are mostly petty, but I am often told "If you can't be happy nobody can be."
I like the idea of swinging from being a clown to deep intellectual melancholia.
I love most people in my life, but sometimes I am tied to people for the wrong reasons. Everything must be balanced to be harmonious. Of course I am the first person to realise I love drama and masses of ups and downs, but my body can't take it anymore, it gives me spasms down my spine rather like stones in my kidneys.  So Jack my son was right when he tried to cure this.

I like to be in control, it is a relief to let go and do something I would not normally do. Hopefully it will not lead me up the garden path as it did last year when I met a conman off Honestly I think these sites need to come with guaranteed references?. I was looking for the love of my life, and they were looking for cash or something I was allowing myself to be warmed up for.

I have always believed in the wedding dress and living in a couple. I am a pigeon.  I still do, however the next person I have in my life has to be a balanced, a loving friendship, adult with no motive other than to care for another person that I love to be with.

I have been listening to the Arianna Huffington meditation everyday for a week and it is working. Also a wonderful book called Mindfulness which is supposed to make you happy in this frantic world.

Happiness is visiting the butterfly garden in the National History museum  in New York. Actually simple things that I have taken for granted. Beautiful delicate butterflies landing on a finger, brought a smile to my face. Gorgeous colours, green and blue, totally stunning.   A walk in Central Park and lunch at  Cipriani with someone I like. It was a lovely day. Such human experiences keep me happy, like meeting people on trains and planes. They are always are so much more interesting than at a party. You are thrown next to a person that you might not normally meet. I like this.

Clean escapades, with a little naughtiness.  I stress the word clean, because anything I do that brings unhappiness to someone else is not positive. Of course like everybody on the planet I can be guilty of that.

I am trying to sell my house before Easter, not lose my cool when I move to another one. This would normally have me sitting on the bottom step with palpitations. I have moving down to a fine art. I feel good about it. So with my new vitamins and healthy living, life should be one hell of a ball.

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