Friday, 11 October 2013

WASTED DNA FOR A FRONT COVER

What a funny week it has been. I had an old boyfriend say I should start going out with a man properly and stop pissing about with nonsense. That I was too attractive to be on my own and on the shelf. The problem is not the other men in my life just that the sex was difficult to replace.  I missed him because he was terrific in places that others were sadly lacking.  Oh dear, as I look at the long legs in front of me, I just wish I wanted to stroke them and wish they wanted to stroke me the same way that the love story of my life did..
I also decided to move to  Palm Springs which made my friends mostly roar with laughter that I wanted to hang out with old people in a sandy desert. The houses there are incredible and such a good deal and actually some of the grooviest people in the land  hang out there.
I also got the most incredible front cover of my life in Hollywood Weekly which is a glossy magazine in the same vein as Hello.
Altogether my week was good  I awoke up to  find condoms and broken eggs  on my front door and some forks. I thought wrongly that there was some spooky magic going on which my neighbour, who tends to look mad did for me,  but actually I have the man on my security footage that Richard Basch had fitted. I had a bet with my housekeeper and I should have listened to her as I lost 100 dollars. Nobody gets away with much these days. The man was clearly enjoying himself at my expense, I was left with bills of at least 1,000 dollars as he  left his heavenly fluids in the rubbers. Felony is frowned upon in these streets.  He should have gone to the sperm bank, it was such a waste. He was a reasonable looking considering his trade. Incidentally it is illegal to leave bodily waste at houses that do not belong to you in Southern California. His images are now famous throughout the land and his identity will be known soon enough.

VANDAL PLACING CONDOM.

I went to the opening of the Bel Air Film Festival walking the red carpet with other talented professionals for my film The gun the cake and the butterfly. This time on my own without Justine Glenton. It feels funny without my wonderful other half. Eventually though you have to part company and start leading normal lives again. I hate normality it is for whimps, I am exhausting company at the best of times.
The parties here, consist of Getty images and a red carpet and several babes with a microphone doing interviews. Forget placement and delicious food.  I wore quite incorrectly a jacket from Yogi Yamamoto, when I should have worn a slinky sparkly long dress number showing plenty of back at 7pm. It is not fashion but the sort of dress that makes me feel sick.
Girls with perfect makeup stood before me and I felt proud to be at my sixth festival with the brilliant Freedman's and Xaque Gruber. I am very grateful to the festivals for encouraging my writing and directing. A year ago I never thought I would be in this position.
My house is for sale, because I want old age crawling over me in Palm Springs and to return to my home in London.  I can stay here  with my best pal Mumma Kay. Splitting my time here is becoming so exciting with never a dull moment..
Fashion still interests me and Genlux Magazine are now starting a live show, so I should be busier than ever..

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