Wednesday, 22 July 2015


Rejuvenation of your pussy? Let me explain there is a new procedure done by my good old friend Dr Sister and I am sure my even better friend Dr Sebagh is busy with it too. It works the same way  the Vampire facelift  works. You take out some blood, spin it in a special machine and re inject it.
Imagine the scenario, I am lying in bed covered with lycra with easy access holes, incase I get lucky hopefully with the love of my life, when he suddenly grabs me, and I think "ypee tonights the night". I have to rush to the bathroom and grab a syringe to prick into my shrivelled membranes in order to make them a little more juicy?  It is like the pink embalming fluid that goes into dead bodies to make them look like they are not dead but just resting. I like the old fashioned approach  to lovemaking and that includes the kiss of life, and you will see open sesame.
 Come on Dr Sister I know you quite well, do I book a group for ten sessions, will it hurt, how long does it last, whats the down time, do you have to do it when I am going to get lucky later on?. What happens if you are stood up? I remember going out with a certain doctor and seeing a certain prostitute having her outer membranes pumped up.
I can imagine as I run to the bathroom, putting on some rubber gloves to grab a needle, put some numbing cream on, wondering if I will be able to feel anything and will I feel anything else too? And the man rushing to his bathroom and doing the same, while swallowing a viagra and tying a bootlace around his swollen outer member? Once this did happen. I can imagine a rather vulgar friend of mine who with a gin and tonic in one hand and a fag in another saying "A bit more on the left please, put plenty in, its going to be a heavy week end"
 Come on its coarse and rather sad?
It's not very flattering for a man to know that you go to a doctor to feel moist enough to meet him, and if he realises that he has nothing to do with your soft wet centre, he could be more than a little disappointed?..
It is not an illness, it can be easily resolved with the oil by Cowshed called Horny Cow.
Get a grip read a book...
The world is going noisily mad and I don't give a damn. There are enough people who care and nobody is going to worry about me dropping off the radar. Tomorrow I might care and okay I might grab a syringe?

Sometimes it is good to worry about turning the lights off.
Why do we have to give ourselves a heart attack every day about what is going on in the world? Sometimes it is just good to worry about writing  "2 bottles of milk today" hoping they won't get stolen.
Whilst editing this article five minutes ago at ten in the morning, I  re read it and now think, this is a splendid idea, and am busy dialling Dr Sister's number, which sadly is permanently engaged. You see in a matter of minutes my enthusiasm returns,  I love a new adventure and as yet, I have not had my blood spun. That is only the start of rejuvenating myself.

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