OLD AND NEW

To say I
Have no regrets
Would be a lie
I spent new years
Eve early
With
An old boyfriend who I have
No romantic feelings
For
And a husband who I do
But who is a
Trap
A trap of
A golden prison
Or was it a cave of gloom
I am watching the
Water
Today there is
Sun above the clouds
In a place called
Heaven
And a hint of happiness
I have been stupid
To allow my heart
To rule
Really stupid
Because it lied
It was a beautiful
Mirage sent to me 
A moment
Of 
Accute misery
I was tempted
And I ran
Towards it
Hoping to
Be saved from
Myself
I should die
A blond has
No business being
Old
The red lipstick fades
The face broken
Marilyn was right
Was it a good face
It was not good
Enough
I was hoping for
A good heart
I want to be pure
I want to sing
In truth that is all I want
To do.. 
Listening to the sea
Against the rocks