Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Since the beginning of the year I have had some comedy episodes.  It started with going to the Oscars and on my way out losing my car pass. A pink unmissable piece of paper, then, because the car was late and I dared comment about it, being told I was a sixty year old woman and that I should not complain.  The facts are facts I am 54, born 1960. I do not need anybody's help and can drive myself to any party. I just hate being late, I think it is rude.  and took off my clothes and cuddled up with my hairdresser girlfriend Angela Kalinowski. I drank a bottle of Dom Perignon, which I would never normally do,  and watched the Oscars from the comfort and luxury of my hotel suite at The Beverly Hills Hotel. It felt good. I slowly became happier and happier as the people I wanted to win, won.
Then there was the dramas of house buying the market in Los Angeles which is so fast that I ended up putting three offers on houses in one day. The market is so fast that you are lucky to get past the starting block.


I adore Tamara de Lempicka, and she is having a show in Turin. I  own a lot of her furniture, as the woman who eventually bought my  apartment in Paris did not want Mallet Steven's pieces made for Tamara, I am lucky to have them for my delight. However my friend who is meant to be more than a friend went to the show without me. This would have been fine, but I had had him to stay in the apartment. and we had met over his painting. I of course just wanted to see the best painting in the world "the girl in a red dress" hang pride of place. Forgetting it was the most romantic place that I have ever lived in, he slammed the door on my jammy wet fingers. The house in Rue Mechain has so many memories for me. I was trapped in the lift with my lover as he kissed my neck, I made passionate love on Tamara's sofa. The incredible staircase designed by Mallet Stevens that left you in awe, and the two exits in the flat.  I used to listen to Bach being played by an incredible pianist downstairs called Nelly.  On top of that I worked so hard with a friend to bring the apartment at 7 rue Mechain tastefully back to life. I felt a connection with Tamara she haunted me and I agree with her statement that she lived on the margins of society where normal rules don't apply as she lived on the fringe. Me too, We both love net over our faces, hiding our truth and pain...


I then went to see the drama of Antigone and argued like Juliette Binoche all the way back in a taxi, whilst discussing whether the Greeks really do have vile characters where they wish to kill everybody.   There was also the question whether it was actually based on Josephine Hart's brilliant book "Damage" where each line was a pearl.  The film was not up to much. Despite the script by David Hare, Directed by Louis Malle, Juliette Binoche and  Jeremy Irons, there was little sexy in it, the book had it all. After a dinner, there followed much debate on Dolce and Gabbana's faux pas. or was it freedom of speech which others were arguing?. My goodness never a dull moment.


With social media as strong as it is today, you don't need PRs looking after you round the clock you can do it yourself. That is the danger and its success.

Two days ago, I put a statement up on Facebook saying that "What on earth am I going to wear since Galliano has been insulting to the Jews and I chopped up his clothes (which of course is not true), Vivienne Westwood, chose to be anti British when she has received all the benefits of being a British, so I binned the tartan, which is true as she has certainly enjoyed the accolades of being a British Dame. and Dolce and Gabbana called IVF children "Synthetic" saying they needed both a mother and a father.  Wow the eclipse definitely made its mark. A huge row ensued between David Furnish, Elton John and the designer. Quite rightly the children do not want to be thought of as "Nylon and Plastic"

Last night I went to see lots ready to be sold at Sothebys for the Ivy Restaurant. Beautiful drawings of Virginia Woolf, Lucien Freud and Tracey Emin hanging together with tables set for Mrs Thatcher at the start of the Faulkland crisis.


Previously I had gone round to a friends house and I am now definitely terrified of dogs, the only place safe was the bath. I was being taught by a twelve year old how to be cool. She was saying "Don't smile. pout, put two fingers open against the mouth" "Listen to me. pout"  I was quite nervous to get it wrong.

After the rather sad 'end of an era' sale at Sothebys, where the doors of the famous Ivy restaurant were being sold off,  I went off to the new hotel hidden away on Duke Street, The Belmont for potted shrimps and liver pate with my great girlfriend the glamorous and witty Trinny Woodall, where we discussed her make up line and how to charm Wikipedia.


Tuesday, 17 March 2015

The good things about Los Angeles you can go from one extreme to another. One minute at Physique57 to an extreme yoga work out in Beverly Hill, the next, go on a hike in the hills above Sunset. One minute you can be meeting some famous dude, and the next having coffee with a homeless girl whose life did not have a plan B. Yesterday I met two friends both concerned about girls with no plan A, B, C or D, who arrive in Los Angeles, with stars in their eyes.  Julia Verdin is making a film to help these unfortunate girls. This city can be harsh if you have no plans, cash or talent. It is for the highly ambitious and you need to have direction otherwise you could end up doing things you would rather not be involved in. The underbelly is very colourful.
Listen to the advice that Bernard Hillier gives on Lip TV. Follow it, because its true.
In Los Angeles I love to stay at The Chateau Marmont because it is lively and the crowd good-looking. The cottages there are completely divine in a not too luxurious way, although they have everything.
There is another good thing about LA you get encouraged, and as an English woman of uncertain age I have been given opportunities that simply would not happen in London. I would love to work as a fashion editor in London, but the Los Angeles based magazine, Genlux, asked me. I am also on a billboard for my film in Hollywood, The gun the cake and the butterfly  and so my loyalty has to be to this incredible city where the lights are harsh but boy when it shines on you, it shines.  The following are three English women who were given covers on my Magazine who supports women of uncertain age.. Elizabeth Hurley from the new series The Royals about the Royal Household, a spoof on what its like in the Palace, Lisa Vanderpump of Beverly Hills Housewives and lastly me.



Arriving in London off the plane, I immediately was interviewed for a television programme about exotic goods. I never realised that a coffee bean could be so expensive, and a cup of coffee could be three hundred and fifty pounds. That it was really created by a cat, called a wild civet, that eats the fruit and expels the bean through bodily functions. I wondered during the interview if I was being set up, but as I had just got off a plane was hardly in a state to argue?. The coffee I was assured was made with the cats running about freely in  Sumatra. However you simply do not know. It all tasted so delicious, but so does Foie gras. 

a film by Frederic Tcheng
 I was lucky enough to be invited to Charles Finch's exclusive opening of Dior and I, which seriously touched me and rocked my soul. Although sadly Galliano was "exterminated" from the film, I can honestly say that the documentary drama of Raf's first couture show, had me gasping in so many directions. I fell for the women working behind the scenes creating beautiful dresses that they found difficult to let go. One woman Monique was so brilliant that I wanted to hug her. It was moving and telling. Raf himself showed humility, stubbornness, frailty, distance, vision and panache. I became aware of the costs of these couture shows, which I already knew about, but for me this film brought home the real costs of human pressure and the cost of talent. You realised the pressure Galliano had been under as you saw Raf Simons break down in tears. You understood without anything being said. I was glad however that Suzy Menkes stood up and said something about Galliano not being mentioned. I understand why he was not, but for goodness sake has he not been punished enough? Galliano had brilliance that few have and we desperately need him, back, working and confident. Thank goodness Martin Margiela took him on.

Among the guests were Danny Huston, Bianca Jagger, Bryan and Tara Ferry and the lovely Nicky Haslam. Danny Huston and I were discussing the costs of flowers for the show, I used to work at Kenneth Turner Flowers and I can only imagine the drama of budget.
All I can say is thank you for including me.

Saturday, 14 March 2015

I love lace and I love silk against my body. Often a boyfriend accuses me of wearing my underwear on the outside, I love this. I hate showing flesh unless it was possible to remain 24 forever. Time gallops at a pace, but I still feel 24, and although my sons treat me like "the old gal indoors" I am more sprightly now than when I was young. Clothes that I like to wear to excite and amuse me are the following. The idea of Fifty Shades of Grey will raise your pulse rate, but watching it may not. Films on sex are not for me, I prefer to use my own imagination  and the book sound a little kitsch. However it should entice you into buying sexier kit and these are some of my favourites.

Beds and bedrooms, kitchen, drawing rooms, cupboards should have space for excitement and amusement, hidden away from the rest of the world.



Tuesday, 10 March 2015

I love architecture and architects. I love John Woolf, Hal Levitt, Neutra, Richard Dorman, Richard Rogers, Howard Crane and Norman Foster. Most of all I like the work of Frank Gehry. Yesterday I was telephoned at eight in the morning to interview the greatest architect in the world for Liberatum and Swire, Frank Gehry. Life is funny, only a week ago I was in love with a house of his that has come up for sale, I wanted it. I was to ask him about technology and how it helped him, and what he saw in the future. I was meant to be giving a birthday lunch for my good friend Julie Anne Rhodes, who owns the Roving Stove and is ex wife of Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran. I telephoned her and said lets forget food and go and meet this wonderful man. Instead of guzzling at the Chateau,  we stopped at Starbucks and enjoyed a coffee and went on to Gehry's studio in Los Angeles. Life is beautiful in the the architects office, you feel the passion,  there is so much to learn from people that I never stop enjoying it. Of course there are days when I could open the coffin lid and like everybody else, but I enjoy the seasons, the first flowers the autumn leaves. At over eighty, Gehry gives us all hope. I am not going to spoil exactly what was said as it is going to be in a film for Liberatum and Swire, only that he give us hope and with his brilliant mind he knows what he would like to achieve for the future. His ideas for schools are incredible and his humour about being alive to see a building finished in the Middle East amusing. Quietly spoken and relaxed I could have happily spent two days talking with him. This is the beauty of Liberatum  and all the work they do. They bring knowledge to the world so it is accessible to us all. Their film will enhance your life. Thank you Swire for helping their dreams come alive.

Still in Los Angeles where the sun never stops, I am trying to enjoy the gym again. Having found the combination of yoga and weights at Physique 57 I will try to enjoy it three times this week before I go home to London which apparently is in the middle of the heat wave. Before that there is an opening that Stephen Webster jewellery shop, a opening at Saks and a new  Genlux Magazines cover with Liz Hurley on it as our new Queen.  Then there is a hike to enjoy with some dogs too. I am not going to crawl into a coffin just yet. Too much to enjoy.

I have also learnt that when I have doubt over somebody, I will wait until they fuck up, it has never proved me wrong. I do not want anybody to damage my fragile persona, I can watch television instead.

Saturday, 7 March 2015

It is  supposedly a quieter week in Hollywood, but I fell in love with a new house well sort of until I looked at all the paper work all over again.  The Americans like the French like endless forms. All legal looking that make you feel sick, so I cancelled the word Escrow from my vocabulary.

Today I was sent this photograph of Isabella Blow, heaven knows when it was taken but at some party I gave round 2002 I should think, perhaps a bit later. It was taken by Amelia Troubidge, who kindly sent it to me. Thank goodness there are hard copies about of this photograph. It occurred to me that in the future so much will be lost or disintegrate. That digital has only a short lifespan.

Hector Abaunza has photographed me again, this time in the fun setting at the Chateau Marmont.
Well he had fun as you can see and who needs to see the dreary Gucci add once more?.. What was fun was that the boys who put up my poster took it down two days earlier than they agreed. Never believe anybody in this town, they just have annoying way of proving you right. People are not quite honest here. Not only did the poster from Drexlers look creased when up on the board, they did not stick to their agreement that it should be taken down on the 3rd March taking it down on the 2nd. They also offered the company two extra days and did not stick to that either. Gosh Los Angeles can be such hard work. People should be more honest. To have integrity is a fabulous virtue to possess. So instead of being upset I got Hector Fernando to place me on every important billboard in town. HAHAHA apparently the boys were running up and down Sunset checking where I was. You see don't try to trick me you little shits. I am here to stay until I get bored, not when you try to trick me.
To make up for it they then tried to offer my distributors London Films some bogus deals, you know the type, two weeks for one but the distributors are really not that desperate. This is much more fun. Facebook does the trick and the other social media places too.

Don't try to trick the company Mr Billboard men..
Social media is here to stay and far more important
than people realise

All was not bad news as I went to an incredible lecture with the humorous and intelligent  Wendy Stark and The Blue Ribbon ladies, on the power of social media, and its uses for the major galleries in town. Timothy Potts fromThe Getty, Michael Govan from LACMA, Phillippe Vergne from MOCA, Steven Koblik from The Huntington, and one woman head, Ann Philbin from Hammer discussed the pros and cons of the modern world through social media. The only problem seemed to me exists anyway, we are no more than our paper image showing what we wanted to be when we die. This is true of the Galleries too. Galleries need you to see things that exist
, experience different thoughts. All mediums and ideas are great provided you learn.
On another note with so many powerful and interesting women in the room surely as we merge sexes there can be more women in this environment? Not just socialites, benefactors and supporters?  I was truly happy to see the art collector and enthusiast Joan Quinn who once interviewed me for my film, The gun the cake and the butterfly
The power of Facebook is such that I got right up the nose of one man who said today that he wished "The butterfly would die" Luckily he was not friend of mine so he was blocked. Well I am not dead yet, I am having far to much of a good time. Next week I am hoping to go to the meditation event at the Hammer which happens every week to entice us to visit, so let's hope it brings some more good vibes as I sit happily in the moon and remember beautiful things.
Then there is the other wonderful Brit Liz Hurley on the cover of Genlux. So much to look forward 

Monday, 2 March 2015

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

As the alarms go off for the second time this week at the Beverly Hills Hotel I think I am living some sort of reality television show "Who gets the maddest soonest" I am going to rip the alarm out of the wall, I am so angry. When business is bad supposedly here, how can they do this, on a Monday morning too at 10.30? A boy friend left in a temper, before breakfast arrived. I think that the gays have planted a joke.  Fire and Safety from Beverly Hills apparently demanded that the occupants be annoyed for 35 minutes, we got the message.

Getting back to the Oscars...
The rat on the red carpet in London has put Hollywood into perspective for me.  It is funny, tragic and regrettable. With its own two feet on the red carpet is it a celebrity? A celebrity as I explained is different from a star, a star has to have talent in my book. Has the rat got its name up in bright lights with Merle Oberon and is it going to stand on its own two feet and sing "There's no business like show business" Was it Lady Gaga in her best outfit yet? By the way her singing at the Oscars was exceptional. What makes the Oscars are really the faux pas.
Has the rat got an agent and a publicist? Why was it there?  We all know from last year that at Award Ceremonies you are starving, and after seeing Benedict Cumberbatch take a swig from his flask, I believe thirsty too. I do hope the rat has not been harmed and I hope it is in a gilded cage somewhere.

I was touched by Melanie Griffith, who was saying it was her time to be "quiet" and supposedly hand over the reins to her daughter Dakota Johnson for her performance in Fifty Shades of Grey. It was good to see my favourite Julie Andrews being honoured and sung to by Lady Gaga, Andrews said rightly that "Music cements a film". What an evening.  It was funny seeing men thank their wives and family as it is probably the only time they get thanked, and the Oscar looking like a bottle of shampoo being squeezed, and the men looked like they were trying to keep their erection. As for the winner of the night, it was definitely the Lego Oscar it stole the show.
I was thrilled to see the following win, Eddie Redmayne for Theory of Everything, His performance was touching and very real. He should have won. It was also correct to have given an Oscar to Alexandre Desplat who has done so much for the Industry. I actually liked his music for The Imitation Game more, but I suppose that would split the vote. Anyway those two were my predictions and I was right. I was happy that Julie Anne Moore won one, and Hotel Budapest won best costumes. They were extraordinary. Sad for the losers as there were so may good films this year. Little weirdo gems, Birdman wow, what can I say?


For me it was highly emotional. I had said at the beginning of the week that I wanted to watch them with full make up and hair whilst eating cheese sandwiches. I had said it as a joke. Through some regrettable behaviour, and a set of joyful circumstances, my prediction came unexpectedly off. I enjoyed my cheese sandwiches without crusts, and a God came and fed me delicious petit fours, with some hard plums. My lucky night indeed.  Never worry if things go wrong as so many more things can go right because of it.  Why fuck Mickey Mouse when you can have Walt Disney?.
Just before the OscarsI felt like I was four days before the summer, and what I needed was the Summer Holidays. When I go back to London I will have the cold Monday morning feeling.
As I took off my Alexander Mcqueen dress and coat I thought what am I doing here with two hours of contouring and  wearing six pairs of spandex?.
In life nobody is treating me badly, three quarters of the planet don't  know I exist. When people see me they do not see me the same person twice, I am so mercurial, that I even shock myself. I do not need to be constantly entertained and I certainly don't need to feel happy all the time. I do however like to take risks and push myself.
If I asked everybody who I had given to, to pay me back, I would have a feast for the rest of my life.
All you need is a god and some plums and you will feel good.

Rosamund Pyke in a long red dress couture from Givenchy
and Margot Robbi in Saint Laurent.

You don't need compost but you do need Astro turf in life. As for Gwyneth Paltrow getting busy with a vaporeto. I am not prepared to bend over so far to kiss my lady garden.

In any case I have had a good week, finally an offer was accepted on a house, my billboard is up on Sunset and Harper and somebody I admire won an Oscar. Hope he gets in touch before August and the award turns silver.

The gifting suites before the Oscars were fabulous and luxurious. I did leave with a fabulous feather throw in grey and black and goodie bags containing so much I was overwhelmed and highly grateful..

goldennineink.com tattoos gold
COFFEE Specially brewed
Dried fruit
Gioia Olive Oil Company
Gold bottle
Donya Paz
Stylish Popup accessories
Non F Monster
Cream Cellulite
feels good
Clinical R Illuminescent cream
Jonathan creams
My MM's
Kristen Lamb most moving memorials
Wonder Woof
Betsy Fore who was charming
Blaze Clothiers

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

A celebrity, icon and a star?. Over used meaningless words but let's get them straight.

Bettie Davies was not a celebrity she was a star.

I would hate to be a celebrity. I live a stars life, but am not recognised, I prefer it that way. I could be in the press every week, for all the wrong reasons, however I choose not to be. A billboard goes up on Sunset Boulevard to promote my movie not my booty.

In The Beverly Hills Hotel yesterday sneaking through entrance was Kim Kardashian, with three hours of contouring, flat sneakers in navy, scraped back hair, and much more petite and elegant than the all the cleavage public persona. She looked pretty and fresh and off to the gym.
Kim Kardashian may be an A lister, Princess Kim, but please she is not a celebrity, royalty or a star, and certainly not iconic, she is recognised because she is recognised, like a box of cornflakes, easily identifiable.  What for? What is she? She is a Los Angeles Debutante. She is an household name, because she made sure she is recognisable,  but she is not a celebrity.  She has had covers of Vogue, and featured in Genlux, LA Confidential and many more. Nobody would say Kim is wonderful for her beautiful voice in Salome or playing Cleopatra,  she has not achieved celebrity status. She is simple in primary colours. She is famous for wearing barely there clothes, filling a champagne glass and stripping.  If she can do this with champagne, I can't wait to see what she can do with the canap├ęs? Bellini anyone? The Kardashian family have done little for society, or for the arts so they are not socialites. A socialite in the real use of the word is someone who helps the arts and helps the old. The Kardashian's scream look at me look at me, and when I do, I say "I am looking now, show me something meaningful" Although I can see the cornflakes I can see the granola over there.  She is definitely not a bad person, very decorative and as I said quite demure in real life, however in photographs, she look like a bordello babe or a hooker. She is loved by many people and has a spectacular husband, Kanye West.


Dita Von Teese is a cabaret artiste with an exotic dance routine has much elegance. An erotic gymnast. She has a much bigger champagne glass. In her routine she allows no photographs, she stops  her performance to tell the photographer off. She expunges all photography until she checks it.
She likes pre washed white towels, a full mini bar, a bedroom and her own bathroom to remove all lint before her performances. Of course I offered her the North Wing at my then house in Eden Place. It was nearer to her perspex bath. She managed to maintain the mystique by not mingling with her public. She puts her hands, her slim elegant digits out like Her Majesty The Queen and I want to curtsy.


Kim of course is very viewable but not watchable, and I am a huge fan, but let's for a second think. A star is someone who has achieved a lot, she or he has been an actor in huge productions. A star was Marilyn Monroe, Rita Heyworth, Brigitte Bardot and is now George Clooney, Brad Pitt and a starlet was Joan Collins and is now Jennifer Lawrence.


Fame can get in the way of your credibility in Hollywood, as in the case of Angelina Jolie. The film, Unbroken was okay, but criticised because she was too famous.
Sam Taylor Wood, is a credible Artist from the East End of London, once married to Jay Jopling,  owner of The White Cube Gallery. Sam broke all records opening her film on Valentines Day with the much over hyped Fifty shades of Grey, based on a best seller and very second rate semi pornographic book. She has made it by turning it into a completely second rate film. This does not make Sam a Star, it makes her director to be admired with over 200 million dollars globally made on the first week end. I actually still prefer her small film she made with a Hare and an apple. What aged first. It was genius, highly imaginative and moving. When I photographed her for British Artists at work she cancelled twice, but there is something endearingly interesting but she is definitely not regal.

People who are iconic usually have won a nobel peace prize or two, the booker prize would include Hockney, Picasso and Obama. In the future, it will probably go to Mrs George Clooney, Amal Amaluddin for retrieving the Marbles.

Amal retrieving the Marbles

Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista and Naomi Cambell are models who do a lot for their industry, it is not their social structure, they work and they do it because they want to be a professional.
What is Kim's profession?
Even when you do celebrity big brother you are a Z list and not an A lister.

I am off to have my hand moulded now so that it can become a mechanical device for my car so I can wave at my public evan when not driving. So if I make a hand gesture from my car I might be on the other side of the planet.

Where are all the stars?  What is a star.

They of course want to get into that slinky tight fitting dress by Sunday for the Oscars and so spend all day with their trainers, their dieticians, their pr's, their agents, the magazines, their make up and hair stylists. With four days to go it is essential that all goes to plan. It is busy with endless telephone calls, late night sessions with their astrologer, the stars are all desperate to know if they will win.
Their cupboards are full of borrowed ideas, clothes and jewellery. There are non stop visits by their assistants to the gifting suites. Everybody is on the take, the suite of the hotel is overflowing with flowers and invitations, the nerves are beginning to show.

 The Oscar Party, Elton's, Craig's and The Vanity Fair Party.
The funny thing is that although I have been to the major parties, they are usually full of wannabes. Elton's of course has several major Hollywood players but bare in mind the majority of A listers are at the Oscar's themselves and the losers will be in no mood to party.
There are so many events this week, Bulgari, Gagosian, Art of Elysium, Louis Vuitton and Chanel all have events. The desperados are out in force, whether it is the jeweller or the socialite paying for the party, the party people are out, which are different from the A list stars.

For me I am going to Elton's but I would rather have my make done, my hair done, be in a corset and a ball dress and recline in bed with my lover eating cheese sandwiches while watching him on television win an oscar.

On Sunset Boulevard and Harper with my fellow actress Justine Glenton


Tuesday, 17 February 2015

I decided to be white skinned three days ago, thinking that bronzing made women look sweaty.  There was a sort yellow colour going through the Globes two weeks ago, making the women look rather hot and wet. Wet and nasty is probably the accurate description. As we come up to the Oscar week end the mens hair will be being dyed that rather too dark shoe polish colour. I was always told when I was young that the darkest hair in the room was the oldest man. There is that tinge of red that goes round the brow giving the game away. Poor men, botox, face lifts and boot polish hair colour just don't suit them.  That is why all the girls fancy George Clooney. A real man with real hair. HAHAHA Do you think he has grey highlights, adding to the mature sexy mystery appeal?.
Looking at my body this morning I realise that sex and the pink pig skin may not go together. I have since telephoned my girlfriends to make me have that tinge of orange again. One them Svetlana swears that it is liquid prozac and Amber Spray tans says the bronzing hides the battle of the bulge. They arrive looking super perky, bronzed and svelte.
At the moment I am lying in bed with dark sunglasses and curtains because of my fathers stupidity of having another child.  I always wanted to be the only one and now big bird is out there born five year after me. A boy friend said to me yesterday, thank goodness there is a younger model around.
I arrived back in my room despite having driven to Palm Springs by mistake with George Blodwell, stylist and meeting a brilliant costume/jacket maker called Samiah, to find balloons in my bedroom with an Oscar for the best dressed most tantalising woman. That made me feel better.

This morning I was lucky enough to meet the girls Stacey and Darcy who make House of Eleven leggings in so many colours and with such a good shape that your legs will swing into action.
All of which made me open those curtains a little more.
I then was buying a house out here, at 2114 Ivar Avenue, when lo and behold  after having signed all the papers the seller,  a man called Ron boringly pulled a fast one. Ron the seller said we had not spoken to him, and that he was now renting out the property., but stupidly on his side of things we taped him and we have our telephone bills.  A little dishonourable and he wasted a lot of my agents time. He rang her 15 times in a day and she tripped and broke her toes. People in Los Angeles have to be watched carefully. This man called Ron wanted me to pay for bills that he had not paid on other projects.
While the rest of the world think about Je suis Charlie and The ancient sect of Coptic Christians killed by Isis the LA people think about what Kim Kardashian is wearing and the Oscars.
Well you know who I think should win.
Eddie Redmayne for best Actor. (Although Benedict Cumberbatch is good in Imitation Game)
Julie Anne Moore for best Actress.
Best film for me is Imitation Game because I love the story of Enigma but again I love Hotel Budapest for the quirky literature and script and Theory of Everything the s
tory of Stephen Hawking's early relationship.
Best Music Imitation Game/Hotel Budapest Alexandre Desplat
If the Academy give it to the new upstart, Johan Johannsson who in my opinion plagiarised Desplat's work in the Theory of Everything, then I give up thinking that the Academy means anything. Surely the amount of work that Hans Zimmer, Alexandre Desplat, counts for something?
Hotel Budapest, as it is highly individual

With parties and opening at LA Italia, Bulgari, Art of Elysium, Elton John's, Vanity Fair, etc
There will hopefully not be a minutes peace.

I am still looking up from the moon to the stars although there has been some drama. Don't you notice when you say you are happy somebody comes and slaps you in your face to remind you, its not real?

I hope I do not have to raise my eyebrows done by The brow gal on Sunday, if the wrong people win.
Anyway at least my hair will look good as I swan into Le Salon and have it beautifully done by Angela Kalinowski in The Sofitel Hotel, where the crew of Ida will be staying. Gia Sinatra said I said to her the other day "Can one of your girls come round and do my and fuck off" I can't remember it was a dark sunglass day. They are the best hair in town I say.

Sunday, 15 February 2015

What a week it has been, I look at my billboard on Sunset Boulevard and think. "Is that me, over the moon and reaching the stars?"

I watched my film yet again and could see all the things I should add to it. I have some footage of a real life drama, a boy being chucked out of his house for drug taking, and the Ferrari I had rented was smashed up, as he left the house. It was raining, the car totally destroyed. Shall I add it?
I know that if I cannot be happy then nobody can be? I remember my children opening my eyes with their small fingers, trying to get me to be awake when I was desperate for sleep. I am now on my own,  the house is hollow and they have left for university.
Yesterday I received roses, pink beautiful roses from my gay friend who thought about the colour of them, and  some half dead white roses from the man who has a crush on me, but doesn't know who he has a crush on.  I put them into a vase together. The lack of meaningful roses tells me what direction I am going in. My mother said when I was little "You are the Pied Piper of Men". When I was little she used to tease me that she had never seen so many men around anybody, but you see I did not like them, I only liked the one hidden that I could not get.

Another friend threw down the telephone, as he felt I had not given him enough attention, while he mentioned three famous names, that did not interest me saying friendship should not be this difficult.
I got obligatory emails from the real men in my life, kisses, but with no thought, they hadn't wanted to believe in the "gaff." Later I went to a friends birthday with hundreds of beautiful hearts everywhere, there was no chance of forgetting what day it was. I had tried to but could not. Hearts everywhere. The man I truly love is with someone else, the one I like is there for me, and the old one has hundreds of obligations. I am alone, and not unhappy, just alone. Valentines day is raw and a reminder of what could have been but is not.

I saw on facebook that somebody had snitched one of the photographs of my parents, in their brief three year marriage and painted a red flower on it, Anthony Cave Brown and my mother Caroline Gilliat. The man on facebook had forgotten where it came from, and put a price tag on it without asking me if it was okay. I said "Remove the photograph" The Artist rang five times. He just did not get it. The price was £3,500 to be remembered and be painted. I thought it was tacky. On top of it I found out that my Father had another child which was illegitimate living Sidney.

I switched on the television and watched Imitation Game. I did not expect to like it a second time. I liked it more. I liked it because it talks about Sir Stewart Menzies. I had not concentrated the first time, I had not caught the name. My Father had written a book about him. The film came alive, I understood Enigma, I understood.  Benedict Cumberbatch's performance  acting Alan Turing was incredibly touching.  Should he win an Oscar or should Eddie Redmayne? Both were good and both deserve it, as does Michael Keaton for Birdman. In this case good to be nominated. The war between Harrow and Eton never ends.
I wanted to read my Father's book C about him, I wanted suddenly to read all his books. I have not read one, I just read the first paragraphs of each . I looked on line, I can buy them used or unused. I have some in storage. In storage?

That has all to change. Hoarding is not for me. Everything must change, because I am reaching for the stars.


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