Sunday, 2 August 2015

What rights do immigrants have that want to come to England like rats through the Tunnel?. Costing millions as they fight through fences, jumping on lorries. I hate to tell them that we have very little to give, yet they are receiving supposedly thirty five pounds a day. After all we live in huge ponzi scheme ourselves, so before the government think about helping these people they should look after their own first.

Of course the government will do what is the right thing and feed their children, give them benefits social housing when really the immigrants should go back home and fight for the re building of their own countries.  These people are costing us millions and these people are not warriors, not responsible and proving to be moral cowards. Why not work hard to defend their country and stop trying to enter ours?  We have nothing to offer. We have a depleted National purse that can barely afford to look after its own. Why do these people expect shelter?. We have to build several new schools immediately to educate our own children. If we put all these people into England, in say Trafalgar Square, soon the 500 a day will fill up and there will be no places.  This is the nightmare. Why do they feel England is the place for them? The English, despite the lectures on political correctness, don't condone free loaders and people who run away from terror. If these people wish to live in a better country why not return to their Mother country and re build it? Our government really should think about the poor in our own country.  What do these people think they are going to eat in England?  Do they think they are arriving in America, stepping through their 50 inch television screens and living the dream with Jennifer Anniston and having tea with the Queen?

At the moment I have news for them, the elderly get six pounds a year as their pension and am sure as brave warriors from the World War 11, who fought for the Health service they will not appreciate the endless people from countries like Tunisia.  Perhaps there could be something more sinister and people will have to accept less pay as the immigrants seize the jobs of the people living in the UK forcing The British to accept less pay?

Friday, 24 July 2015

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Rejuvenation of your pussy? Let me explain there is a new procedure done by my good old friend Dr Sister and I am sure my even better friend Dr Sebagh is busy with it too. It works the same way  the Vampire facelift  works. You take out some blood, spin it in a special machine and re inject it.
However
Imagine the scenario, I am lying in bed covered with lycra with easy access holes, incase I get lucky hopefully with the love of my life, when he suddenly grabs me, and I think "ypee tonights the night". I have to rush to the bathroom and grab a syringe to prick into my shrivelled membranes in order to make them a little more juicy?  It is like the pink embalming fluid that goes into dead bodies to make them look like they are not dead but just resting. I like the old fashioned approach  to lovemaking and that includes the kiss of life, and you will see open sesame.
 Come on Dr Sister I know you quite well, do I book a group for ten sessions, will it hurt, how long does it last, whats the down time, do you have to do it when I am going to get lucky later on?. What happens if you are stood up? I remember going out with a certain doctor and seeing a certain prostitute having her outer membranes pumped up.
I can imagine as I run to the bathroom, putting on some rubber gloves to grab a needle, put some numbing cream on, wondering if I will be able to feel anything and will I feel anything else too? And the man rushing to his bathroom and doing the same, while swallowing a viagra and tying a bootlace around his swollen outer member? Once this did happen. I can imagine a rather vulgar friend of mine who with a gin and tonic in one hand and a fag in another saying "A bit more on the left please, put plenty in, its going to be a heavy week end"
 Come on its coarse and rather sad?
It's not very flattering for a man to know that you go to a doctor to feel moist enough to meet him, and if he realises that he has nothing to do with your soft wet centre, he could be more than a little disappointed?..
It is not an illness, it can be easily resolved with the oil by Cowshed called Horny Cow.
Get a grip read a book...
The world is going noisily mad and I don't give a damn. There are enough people who care and nobody is going to worry about me dropping off the radar. Tomorrow I might care and okay I might grab a syringe?

Sometimes it is good to worry about turning the lights off.
Why do we have to give ourselves a heart attack every day about what is going on in the world? Sometimes it is just good to worry about writing  "2 bottles of milk today" hoping they won't get stolen.
P.S
Whilst editing this article five minutes ago at ten in the morning, I  re read it and now think, this is a splendid idea, and am busy dialling Dr Sister's number, which sadly is permanently engaged. You see in a matter of minutes my enthusiasm returns,  I love a new adventure and as yet, I have not had my blood spun. That is only the start of rejuvenating myself.
Human beings have always been attached to cruelty whether in human relationships or with nature.
They can be sweet loving but boy they can easily turn. There is nothing that can shock us anymore we are thoroughly manipulated by terror and politics. Iraq is no longer Iraq and I can only hope that Iran stays calm as it's borders are bullied.
The human race can be cold, controlling and disingenuous, equally they can be the opposite. Loving adoring and enthusiastic. How can the different factions of Muslims fight each other? They are because we did, Catholics against the Protestants.
There can be nothing  worse than cruelty to an animal that can't talk, that can't fight back? I have become almost completely vegetarian and see only animals walking across my plate. Green is best and after my week at Anthony Robbins I feel I am completely brain washed to do good things. This is a miracle. 

I have so many dreams of making life more positive for others. Helping the Elephant, helping the Rhino. Helping the old and young artists in this country.  I wish to open an agency for the young and enthusiastic "creatives". I need a vibrant, attractive person who likes this industry to get these adults working and at the same time helping themselves.. Anybody out there should contact me. An enthusiastic support group for young and older artists around the world. A refreshing CAA. We would share profits and you could work in your own time when you wanted. I think this should be the case anyway. People work better when they have natural freedom. I want to help all nationalities in this country in the arts to make it a better world through opera, music, photography, painting and theatre. This is the only way people will listen hopefully and become "Life Enhancers"through their abilities.
Now back to the grindstone and moving..







Tuesday, 7 July 2015

I am at The Tony Robbins course in The Canary Islands, but instead of shimming up a pole, I would rather climb cupid's summit, despite the fact I might not win a yellow badge saying "I jumped it".  This morning I had their food police at my door to check whether the forbidden eggs and bacon were for me or my friend. I said they were for my friend, and they suggested I should be policed by my son, incidentally my son is a miracle born from god and definitely perfect in every way and better suited to the emotional gymnastics that the soya bean brigade offer.
My temple is my body, and my body is very often worshipped.
I promise you I nourish it regularly with green wheat grass  with frequent trips to the Mayr clinic I manage to keep the menopause at a distance and luckily it is at least five years away.
Let's talk about love, more interesting than anything else. Love is for me how to "make the other person feel about me without investing too much of myself". I tried it the other way round and it did not work. I remember when I was a little girl my Aunt said to me all the time "Remember fall in love where money is, never marry for it" I don't worship money but at the same time I am unlikely to slum it.
Does love exist or is it a neurotic obsession with someone else? The obsession part is what keeps you in love, and neurosis is a fabulous drug which most people are addicted to and lose their supplier.  Because of it, they keep searching for the agony.  They get a little hit there and a little hit here, and a few weird trips they wish they had not gone on.  People interested should read a book called "Who moved my cheese"




Fifty shades of grey has one problem that it was not as sophisticated as some fledgling prostitutes.
The only real love affairs for women are the ones that you feel you will lose at any given moment. My ex boyfriend used to say that I needed to be kept in the earthquake zone in order to behave. This was fine until I met a man on a train who became more attractive because he was unavailable. He belonged to someone else. Thats not say I did not try him on a few times, and I did not feel guilty because we pretended his wife did not exist. I did not feel guilty as it was not my wife and it was his job to make his marriage work and not mine. I can't help it if I am so damned attractive.
I wish they were teaching me here about how to NLP a man to think it was his idea to chase me, however Tony Robbins Life Mastery class is obsessed with cleaning out my colon which is not conducive to nights of pleasure, instead its cucumber juices at one end and incase it doesn't come out the other end, yards of two way rubber tubing with  gloves, of course,  are applied. Gas mask optional. If I wanted a colonic I go to The Mayr Clinic or the Margie Finchell clinic.


I am dying for  the teachings of subnormality's, anchoring of excellence, swishing. I really don't need the first of 120 pages to tell me that I am a heap of rotting compost. By the time we go to a course like this in Europe we have done the rounds. I have said "om" for thirty years. I spent weeks standing on one leg on a hilltop with the likes of the excellent Godfrey Devereux. I am not educationally subnormal and need to cheer on an absent Tony Robbins. It feel more like the Tony Robbins appreciation society. I am though here for me, and not for him. I do not need to scream his name with  a Marie Osmond smile every five minutes.  I have read the book and got the T shirt. Sadly despite the money making operation, he is not here.  Instead I have to put up with the plump, white nailed women running the course, complaining about a thirty hour flight instead of massaging their spleens and rubbing their ears suggested in their book. I wanted to immediately enrol in the Platinum option as everything else looked ordinary. I was told if you join you might be lucky enough to meet Warren Buffett. Unfortunately for them and fortunately for me I remember him in Davos at The World Economic Forum, two years ago.  I enjoyed a very elaborate dinner with him.
I am confused as to which toxic chemicals are allowed as it seems you can wear acrylic nails with toluene but they suggest you avoid "right guard" and I don't go anywhere unless I have a touch of Mitchem. I wish they would teach me how to click my fingers and as if by magic "hey presto". I am going to learn how to hold the pole like a cigarette like the girl taught me from the Raymond Review Bar when I launched my book Cloak and Dagger Butterfly in their club.








Sunday, 5 July 2015

There is a lot I wish to say at the moment, but given the problems and our desire for "political correctness" in the world, it is tricky.  I look around the world and our leaders are diplomatic, there is nothing outrageous coming out of the mouths of David Cameron or Barack Hussein Obama, This is their entrance to the political arena, they know when to speak. Notice that however many votes Nigel Farage got, he did not get in. I put my hands up to being intimidated, I admit to having a bad tummy if I look carefully round the world and see heads rolls. I am intimated but not frighted of death or violence. I am waiting for others to be brave enough to say what should be said. I don't mind dying but I would rather die normally not from these murderous bastards in the Middle East.

In the last war all Germans were suspect and put into war camps. ISIS have done a disservice to their own. They have made every Muslim in England a suspect. The malady that we helped educate has turned. What a surprise. Of course Enoch Powell would be turning around in his grave. He had warned us. Tell me what lunacy of the police to let a man go who was wearing an ISIS flag outside the Houses of Parliament, when David Cameron said last year that anybody who did this could experience the wrath of our police force? Was the man just saved because of political correctness and a child on his shoulders?
Women have to stop vaginal mutilation. Women are the only people who can stop this. The only voice a woman has is the screaming heard as it is performed on her.
The burka and the niqab has to go.  In England it is socially unacceptable, offensive, medieval and badly educated to hide your face. It shows you need to hide something unpleasant. We have not worn a "wimple" since the 14th Century. Thank goodness for the artwork at the Venice Bienale questioning the use of the garb and the muslims migrating in their thousands to Europe..
By removing the burka they remove fear. This is outrageous and would have never happened if ISIS had not risen among us, but it did.  Uniformity used to be punishment, in prison you are given a number and a hat. Perhaps women in burkas are faceless drones? I am asking to remove the Hijab and the niqab.  I think men use this garb to skulk about hiding. The muslims in the population must understand the fear they have created. With this in mind they may start to put pressure on the extremists within our midst.
When I see these women, I see oppression and this ignorance creates fear and lack of understanding.
People may not say anything, they may just  raise their eyebrows, but they are all thinking the same thing, but are terrified to say anything. Some people don't even know because they don't read newspapers, watch the news, they may just watch the transformation of Caitlin Jenner, the Kardashian's or the equality of all sexes to be able to marry each other. It is funny that the three girls who left for Syria loved the Kardashians who are in fact Armenian Christians. For their education any surname ending with" ian" is Christian so perhaps they should get new role models? What happened to the women who left their husbands taking the children behind? Were the men left to collect our cash to pension book? Should these girls be allowed home?. In my mind they should have their passports revoked. As a British Citizen your passport does not belong to you, but is on loan from the British Government.
We are careful to pick our words so as to not offend. There are radicals are amongst us, that is certain, and they are not Syrian, not Iranian, but third generation born and bred Liverpudlians.
We do not allow Enoch Powell to be uttered yet we allow a group called Cage to have an audience. We live in a free society which is great, and it makes Britain valuable and interesting, but do not expect all of us to understand each other or agree, because we don't.
The standard of dress amongst us is  appalling if you walk down Oxford Street, t-shirt material is far too prevalent and nobody seems to know except when Ascot is on,  what to wear. T shirts were originally made for underwear. Perhaps we all need to cover up a bit?. There is nothing more revolting to look at than people who don't suit shorts, wearing them. Even the burka is not made of T Shirt material.
The burka is a problem for me personally, because I can't tell whether it's this season, next season or so last year. You can't see if its "designer" or not. Does it come wrapped in tissue or just a plastic bag.? Does it come with matching underwear, socks and gloves? Are women under it just too damn pretty too looked at, or are they just too damn ugly? I am told by my Middle Easter friends that apparently they are are wearing red high heels and silk underwear, under them?  I think I shall infiltrate and see how they like it? I shall join them with two transvestites I know and two girls who lunch, and giggle at them under the black terrifying garb? No, actually I have more respect.
I suppose you can tell a grand one when you see the Balenciega bag.
If we all put a sheet over our head with a pointy bit,  would we be able to tell who was who, or would the Muslims think we were a member of the Klu Klux Klan?.
Hi Mary, is that you under there? At least with Telly Tubbies you could tell who was who and they came in all colours shapes and sizes, very egalitarian.



Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Something shocked me yesterday when I heard about the talented composer James Horner dying in an aeroplane crash. The clever man wrote Titanic. The film that is based on a lie but never mind. His oscar winning music is known to all of us around the world.
There are some stories that are always intriguing. The Titanic I believe was not the ship that sunk but was infact that sister ship the Olympian. The boat that was about to be scrapped with no insurance but instead was renamed in secret and replaced the Titanic. All the people concerned kept the secret and at the time the ports had hundreds of employees that could keep a secret. They were blackmailed and told to never tell anybody. They could lose their jobs with a little indiscretion and there was no welfare state back then. What happened to the real Titanic, I will have to check.

My son Jack's dog Ulysses also died last week, a beautiful black greyhound, it feels like the end of the era. I went with my sons, Charles and Jack to find them outside Paris. The breeder Bleu Manoir bred championship show greyhounds. When we arrived there were about thirty puppies running around and in amongst them two beautiful black puppies, Ulysses and Unicorn  stood out. The boys and I fell in love immediately and took them back on my ex's jet to the South of France. Their the puppies ruled for a few years. Our time is always borrowed. We own nothing, we are just custodians. So I had three of four years of greyhounds jumping into bed with me.  Unicorn died six years ago from a twisted gut and Ulysses was incredibly sad. He used to cry round the house. So we bought him a play friend called Madame M, black and sleek. She now lives their with a labrador so is perfectly happy.
Good or bad, nothing lives forever so just enjoy precious moments.






I wish people did not feel they own things, we just borrow and look after them for the time we have. We are the custodians of beautiful things for a time, we have to hand over to others for their future enjoyment.
I have been so busy this Summer with the Chelsea Flower Show, Royal Ascot, travelling, friends staying, the opera, trying to move, not succeeding, that time just rushes by.  I went to see Traviata which was wonderful and Marina Rebeka had a standing ovation at the Royal Opera House singing the part of Violetta. I enjoyed The Audience with Kristen Scott Thomas, and was thoroughly spooked by The Alexander Mcqueen show at the Victoria and Albert Museum. With wonderful weather in London what a Summer it has been.



Tuesday, 9 June 2015

Last night I arrived at St James's Theatre and had dinner with two of my most favourite friends Barrington and Ines De La Roche, from The Dark Theatre. Artists and raconteurs.

I was excited about seeing the Mcqueen play written by James Phillips and directed by John Caird.  I wanted, after having seen the Alexander McQueen show at The Victoria and Albert Museum, to be taken back to another time. I used to be allowed in by Snowden Hill one of the hairdressers behind the scenes, to see my favourite fashion fantasy of all times. In my opinion Alexander McQueen's was the only show that was not deadly dull. My son Charles went to work for Guido the hair stylist. My son was mad about Lee, and so he ticked off the models as they arrived, getting them coffee etc. Nothing of course could live up to my expectations, Lee is no longer with us.

I can say that whilst it was fabulous to watch the dancers beautiful choreography and the clever set pass by, there was so much more to the life of this extraordinary designer. How he worked? Where was the magic? The girl in the tree show was so much more, and so much less? Why people focus on the negative I never know? It is much more powerful than the positive, and so draining and heavy to watch. Of course, Lee committed suicide, but where was the humour? One thing I did realise was that it is certainly braver to live, after all many of us suffer depression.  My feeling is there is a problem with people when they make themselves too exclusive and don't interact with society. The actor Stephen Wight was excellent but you can only work with the lines and direction provided. and a tortured genius is not good entertainment. I was once told by Academy Award winning Sir Tim Rice some words of advice "Don't have anyone on stage alone for longer than 4 minutes as the audience begins to hate him/her" and a "musical about a person suffering anorexia is not good entertainment"


The could have been solved by Tracey Ann Oberman who played Issy Blow. Issy and I spent three Summers together in The South of France, she lived next door to me in Chester Square in Eaton Square. She was educated at Heathfield and was naturally grand. There is a certain stature that you have when you are educated privately that does not slip. She was witty, mean, depressed, silly, clever, gossipy, funny and very naughty. She was a camp show girl. The woman was acting her, but could not be her obviously. The actress sort of looked like her, but where was the lipstick on her teeth? The dirty hair? Where was the couture dress that was so filthy on the inside that it stood up on its own, Issy looked like a couture tramp.  I remember Issy once saying to my son, wear this new dress from Mcqueen, run round the garden in it, so it looks better, Charles did, trashing it with the label still in. She did not have psuedo French accent. Issy spoke with received pronunciation which Tracey should have easily been able to adopt having been educated at Central? So perhaps the script was wrong or perhaps the director?.
Issy correctly played would should have brought light relief to the dark spots.
She was not fake, yet so fake. She was naturally very generous, once in a home in Pimlico I visited her in, she was giving her black patent Fendi handbag away to a very pretty black girl. Her clothes too. My housekeeper refused to touch anything of hers, incase it was infested with germs. Issy had a touch of "Miss Haversham" about her. Her friends were Amanda Harlech and Lucy Birley, Tim Noble and Sue Webster, Phillip Treacy etc. She had the ability to be affectionate with a doorman. She was a huge snob and yet not a snob at all. Issy screamed at me once saying that I should not have a job as I was rich, I took the job away from someone who was not. She could be jealous, then loving. a character who could never have been forgotten. I have often said I would never have changed my looks unless she had not originally re styled me as Marilyn Monroe for a Tatler shoot putting me against a huge penis. I was horrified. She thought it was funny. She ran up huge bills, she was Madame Bovary, she was as witty as Mae West.

Nevertheless this one act play should be seen. I would love to re write it in some areas, It is so nearly very good. I would love to see a copy cat Phillip, Daphne, Seane, Annabelle, and less of the woman in the tree who is nonsense compared to the 'real life characters' that actually existed and still exist.

Saturday, 6 June 2015

Sunday, 24 May 2015

ISIS has taken over Palmyra which is one of the most beautiful and magical cultural cities of the world. An oasis which is only140 miles away from Damascus in Syria.

The Queen of Jordan along with other World Leaders have begged them to consider saving this historical site. ISIS's disparaging remarks about Michelle Obama  did not make ISIS any more interesting or intelligent. On another note how can Obama say that the most dangerous thing in the world is climate change?.

There is a cycle of life. We can only die once. No matter how painful the death, there is only a few seconds that it can be so, a finite measure between life and death. Few people are constructive over the age of eighty let's face it.  No dictatorship has proven to survive and the more destructive they are to the existing human race, people will rise up against them. This is the pattern of history.



If ISIS destroy Palmyra we are reducing the beautiful architectural wonders of the world for future generations to enjoy. One person can be knocked down, five million killed, but unless the political parties start being more tolerant and more constructive, their heads too will roll, not just those that they are killing at the moment. You cannot treat the human race badly for long. There is no more Stalin, Hitler or Chairman Mao . ISIS is a violent disease.  Do they believe that they are going to live forever? The Nazis thought they would live forever. They should not forget that history always repeats itself and as Hitler came and went, so will these people. Hitler however chose not to bomb certain buildings e.g. The Brighton Pavilion as he had ideas of turning into his Nazis headquarters. He was at least a lover of architecture.



ISIS's destruction of historical sites in the Middle East is showing a lack of respect for other cultures, it is saddening. It is as bad as if they decided to descend on Stonehenge or destroy Hadrian's Wall or artefacts from The Ming Dynasty. What are they intending to do?  Bomb Jerusalem? What about relics in Rome? Anything Christian they do not want? No Christian relics, No Jews and No Buddhists, No Catholics, No Pagans? Ethnic eradication? No Ancient Greece? No Father Christmas. What about the beauty of Babylon, and the Babylonian dynasty which they are in part living in? The centre of the world, The Sumarian's? They may have religious and political points, but to be this destruction they are shaming to the religious beliefs they think they hold.  They have obviously studied history and want to remove the facts altogether. If this continues children of tomorrow could believe that history started with Mohammed.
Their appalling treatment of women in 2015, is totally disgusting.
Perhaps they are blowing themselves up for the ultimate orgasm, paradise and "appetising vaginas"
"Each time we sleep with a Houri we find her virgin. Besides, the penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal; the sensation that you feel each time you make love is utterly delicious and out of this world and were you to experience it in this world you would faint. Each chosen one [i.e. Muslim] will marry seventy [sic] houris, besides the women he married on earth, and all will have appetizing vaginas." - Al-Suyuti, Al-Itqan fi Ulum al-Qur'an, p. 351



On another note and because of the dramas recently, I think the time has come that we have to think about  banning the "batoolah" and the "niqab" in the United Kingdom. I say sadly because I believe people should have freedom to do as they wish.  ISIS have coloured the rest of the world's view.  These contrapments represent terror and repression to most people in the Western World. The Muslims can still cover their hair and be modest. To chain Christian women and sell them off will only have ramifications that the heads of ISIS may not like.
 I don't agree with a religious or political statement. France and now The Netherlands do not allow the burka, and the rest of Europe should now consider this as well?
Is ISIS so incredibly undeveloped, they will knock down everything because it does not suit their fantastical ideals. Another view
As Mohammed was born 570 years after Christ, to remove earlier societies could be considered criminal. Why on earth has this turmoil been allowed to fester within our societies?. If they want to live in a barren society, their children may not, children usually by their nature, want to do the opposite to their parents?
At the moment ISIS are mentally teenagers. We only have our society and culture to live with. We can live in harmony provided they contribute and do not destroy. Fanatics are never attractive and they do not indoctrinate for long.  The human being, as history shows, always moves on.
I do not want to eradicate, I believe in democracy, but I do want to have free speech as well.


VOTE FOR THE REMOVAL OF THE BURQA with The Express.
WHAT IS THE MUSLIM RELIGION BBC

Binoy Kampmark writes more intellectually about ISIS In Dissident's 

Friday, 22 May 2015

I have known Hendrix for 7 years and I am so happy that he has worked hard. Education is most important and Hendrix has luckily achieved and got into the school of his dreams.
Please help fund this so that he can get the education he rightly deserves and has earned.THE HENDRIX FUND

Thursday, 21 May 2015




1.  Never touch my computer equipment or my belongings especially the handbag.
2.  Stop boasting and talking like a Philadelphia lawyer.
3.  Wear deodorant smell nice, clean your teeth nobody wants to smell booze and fags ,death breath, trench mouth. No girl wants to kiss an ash tray.
4.  Wash and shave
5.  Don't let the girl pay for anything
better to go for a coffee or  a sandwich that you can afford or a pie and a pint
6.  Any internal orgasms can usually be found with girls on websites called Cherrygirls.com who are high end prostitutes
7.  Read a book not only the pamphlet and no, yellow pages don't qualify.
8.  Never talk about another girl especially in a derogatory fashion, I know that it will be me next, and usually to the girl who you have been kvetching about.
9.  Always buy flowers, a simple thing can keep any woman happy even if you have to steal them.
Don't expect every woman to open her legs for a bunch, they may just go in the vase, and understand that if they are ordinary, somebody might spell that out.
10. Don't talk about money as if it was a trans Atlantic telephone number.
11. Don't mention other  girls names in my presence or afford me gynaecological descriptions of their journeys to their perceived sexual delights. I don't mind listening to all of the above if there is a fee involved and a phd after my name, but there isn't.
12.  If a man manages to get through this assault course and the bootcamp I provide, then he might be in with a tiny chance of a date. I realise I might have lost half my audience and that is my entire intention. Those of you still reading should sharpen your pencils once again, if you have lead in it.
13,  Don't send photographs of yourself which are appropriate for tinder  before you  have taken me to dinner.

I do not expect all the men to do work but I do expect that they have a go and try.
If you don't intend to listen to advise then its fast track to a punch on the nose.

I have just woken from a nightmare and taken two more sleeping pills.
If a man tries to blackmail you,  tell him "Go for it but he better have a place at the priory to go to"
I can tell you after my last escapade I am finished with the demimonde and semi artist,and I am back to seeing the "charm" of the banker. One bit of advice listen carefully why the man was free in the first place.




Friday, 15 May 2015

Saturday, 9 May 2015

I wanted to be in so many places at once this week. Tracey Emin was showing in Rome tonight  and I love her and her work. I had to miss it as I was staying at the Mayr Clinic.   Last week I fainted on the way back from Palm Springs and I needed to have endless check ups, so The Mayr in their usual efficiency found out everything about my body. I am perfectly okay. Phew. They told me I lived off adrenalin. Of course I do and black coffee. I have to go back very soon there is a whole lifetime of bad habits to repair.  I find their regime totally brilliant.

TRACEY EMIN's SHOW IN ROME
On my way home I dropped into The Venice Biennale  which opened today and is luckily on until November. There were plenty of eccentrics visiting, Women with wild hair, black dresses, huge jewellery wearing knuckle dusters and strange bracelets. Stylish blonde haired nubile creatures talking deep into the night.. The art world character is special, unusual.  The enthusiasts all have something different about them, architectural glasses, a red rim round a jacket, colourful shoes, an unusual watch strap. It is an ideal habitat for the cockatoo.

I was having a drink last night on the buzzy terrace at The Gritti Palace, full of glamorous looking people like Liz Hurley, Simon and Carine Lee and David Gill. I sat next to a dapper middle aged man who I did not know. He whispered to me that he wanted to throw the ashes of his deceased mother into the canal. He told me she had had her first gin and tonic at the Palace, he intended to celebrate the event with me. The place was packed but despite this he gently put the ashes into a napkin and let them slip into the water.  Everybody was unaware what the gentleman was doing, but it was a heart rending moment and added to all that has been wonderful in the last day and a half. This was art tself.

WORD ON THE CANALS


Word on the canals in Venice is that there is so much money at stake that the artist has little time to create totally new work. They are known for something and they are almost persuaded to stick with it.  The poor artist has to be an accountant for the most part,  making things not from the heart and soul but for the new type of owner, who twenty years ago would be more interested in owning a Ferraris than an Emin. As I walked around  Venice I could sense that you can buy any artists work in all sizes, like shoes, 39.5, 42, 44 and so on, something that fits.   There is pressure from the Gallerists to sell, and artists to produce. Endless art shows give them little time for reinvention.
There is also the whole social life that goes with it. The entertaining, the huge yachts, the dinners. The artists were clearly weary even if they had been supported and created.


"Was Sarah Lucas shocking?" everybody spoke in hushed hallowed voices. Sarah is Great Britain's candidate for our Pavilion.  Part of the "Young British Artist's", Charles Saatchi curated long ago.  She had made a female body having "sex" over a desk with a cigarette placed strategically, rather than erotically. Subversion. In fabulous light drenched yellow rooms, that could have made me feel happy, she displayed her work, it actually left me feeling sad.  Knowingly or not, there were some Franz West moments as I studied her show bathed in warming sunlight. Another piece showed a woman being sick in the loo and again another cigarette. "This is violent sex" I think?. I always love that idea, but my love life is so gentle in comparison. But, there we are, Sarah Lucas is part of the rough and tough world of the East End of London, part of the Goldsmith 'Rat pack'.


At lunch I listened to two young art dealers gossiping,  fanatics, sitting on the stunning roof at the Danieli. They discussed whether Lucas was mischievous  rather than depraved?. No conclusions were made as the wine slipped down.

I am different. I am amused by  tea ceremonies and Japanese Gardens, fruits of unusual forests and silence. I am more in tune with Huroshi Sugimoto. In love with the 'idea of romance' in the tea room in a glass box, surrounded by a perfect garden. I loved this. An exotic simple idea for a city garden in London.






I loved the Japanese Pavillion, Chiharu Shiota piece "The Key in the Hand" I find it very attractive and moving, keys are strange yet normal memories to past and present souls. I don't know why but last week I threw away my keys to my apartment at Rue Mechain, without thinking, it was a love nest I had in the heart of Montparnasse, built by Mallet Stevens. I felt the keys were my only real object that kept my soul there. Perhaps I wanted to break the apron strings to my Parisian romances?



Tonight I was speaking to my ex who said that Venice was so trashy, I didn't see that side of it, I met a series of amusing and talented people, but of course men on the loose will always find their suitable bed mates. unfortunately trashy sells, people love it. Nothing trashy about the Pinault party which opened Venice, here reported by Franca Sozzani, who looked totally stunning compared to the her American counterparts this week.
So does religion sell. Christoph Buchel representing Iceland  decided it was interesting to set up a mosque installation in a church, causing a flurry of Muslims to pray in the artwork. This sent alarm bells throughout Venice. A freedom of expression. Of course this is nothing new, after all there are many churches that have been taken over and turned into Mosques, Christianity being the older religion. I can see why this was controversial, but everything is political here at the Biennale. The Brazilian Pavilion and the Serbian too, I was perhaps most touched by the film I saw in Brazils show "So much it doesn't fit here". A woman running through a prison with an Olympic flame and hands from the prisoners reaching out to her. Thousands are kept under lock and key there. The Armenian Pavilion won with heart rending tales from several artists. I did not get a chance to see it, next time. My feet need to rest.



My favourite pieces that filled my hear was by Jaume Plensa was called "Together" it felt like the old black film white dream sequences. Beautifully made and totally stunning.


I also was enthralled and spent ages at The Australian Pavilion where artist Fiona Hall had played with family objects, in a witty and interesting way.


With so little time and so much to see I will need an excuse to visit Venice at least for another 4 days to completely see what this years Biennale has to offer. Then there is the shopping which is a wonderful relief from the walking. Good food and Harry Ciprianis.



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Tuesday, 5 May 2015

All of us are learning to be kind and good, with Kundalini classes and the latest techniques on how to be NLP'd sweet. I at least have been working on myself for half a century and still its tricky not to say the first thing that comes out of my mouth.
So I say the following with utmost respect for the designers, stylists, fashionistas involved. If we in the fashion world do not wish to be mocked and ridiculed then think what you dress our foremost celebrities in?

This week at the Met Ball, once named The Costume Institute Ball,  proved where we are in our society. As atrocities are performed like rituals around the world, and the Nepalese are living under heaps of historical rubble, one of the prettiest girls at the party, Rihanna, turns up looking like Big Bird dragging an omelette in a dress by a relatively unknown but supposedly brilliant Chinese Couturier called Guo Pei, she took two years to make it, and apparently it was found by Rihanna on the internet. Rupaul's costumes in Drag Race  were more glamorous and provocative. Just look at his show Shanel, real stage creations.
The Chinese theme, "China through the looking glass" last night was mostly ignored and interpreted incorrectly, kimonos are Japanese not Chinese, Lady Gaga.



If I was given a dress like Kim's I would have slit my throat rather than turn up looking fatter than Beyonce, who was wearing four sequins and lipstick by Givenchy. Kim looked prettier running through The Beverly Hills Hotel in navy blue and flats than the hideous white transparent dress she was given to wear.  It would have cost a fortune and looked cheap and common by Roberto Cavalli. On top of this, these girls have a passion for pumping up their booty into comical shapes and showing it off in these trampy dresses, making them, not pretty or sexy, but  even stranger.
Anna Wintour unfortunately looked like she was wearing curtains with swimming safety armbands, or a floral tribute from all of Australia. Despite it being by Chanel, another of my favourite designers, it simply did not suit her. Thank goodness the flowers didn't spell out a name. What looks good on a cat walk is proven to not look good in real life. On top of this she was the hostess and her guests ignored her plea for "No social media", which is completely out of date as "selfies" rule. Anna is in a terrible position, after all she has to wear sponsors clothes, deal with press and people please.  The usually attractive Sarah Jessica Parker looked like Medusa with her snakes on fire, in a hat by Phillip Treacy. Only Isabella Blow could have carried off this one, or Lady Gaga. I am usually his biggest fan, but she, in my opinion, simply doesn't have the right panache to wear his hats.
There were some creative moments that worked, the most imaginative dress of all, was a mini Giles dress worn by Solange Knowles, Beyonce's sister, she clearly was on the verge of upstaging her famous sibling.

PRIZE CHICKEN with Beautiful make up and hair, Rihanna


There are rules to follow. Always see how you look from the back, and always ask someone what you look like who will tell you the truth. Not someone who you pay.  I have been in the same position and I promise you one thing never trust anybody where money is concerned, they will say anything. They will never be honest.
Equally do not trust your best friend who may be envious.  Simply this, at the Met Ball or anywhere else and I would like to look beautiful and be me, not be entertainment selling newspapers and just a figure of fun.

As the celebrities stood together in a  row you will notice the world is in chaos, they are a reflection of our intellectual poverty.

We clearly cannot define style, good taste, or glamour nowadays. The starlets are show girls for the most part and are making a mockery of the Met itself, which is one of the most important Art Galleries in the World, with supposedly one of the most important social events of the year headed by the Bible of fashionable good taste, USA Vogue. At twenty six thousand dollars a ticket everybody should have a bit more pride and if a dress is not up to wearing, whoever has designed it, don't kiss arse, and don't wear it. The whole event should be far more elegant. These dresses are expensive, they cost hundreds of thousands of pounds so the money would have been better spent helping people around the world with so much less? Of course it is political, probably the person paying for the ball supports a designer, but it is important what these stars are wearing. The are supporting many people behind them.

What would be ground breaking if the guests all turned up in a little black dress from the back of the cupboard, donating the millions wasted on looking dreadful to meaningful institutions?. Would n't it be nice if these celebrities instead of looking ridiculous in ghastly creations, helped the poor? Forget politicians for a second, they are not always to blame, sometimes  the people in show business should take responsibility,  our young watch and copy these girls of influence, and they have little notion on how to behave or what is correct. I hate to sound old fashioned but seriously old fashioned can be interesting.

We can define the 1920's, the era of Edith Head, The 1970's, 80's,we can define true Hollywood Glamour, but this lot have taken the piss. It is a pity because they all could achieve so much more.
Beautiful women should be beautiful, not a joke...
The dresses should be worn because they look good on a person not because they are from a particular label, I love the way Livia Firth thinks, perhaps all you girls could wake up?
Time for a change in every direction from top to the bottom? People in high places clearly should not be so cocky. What goes up must come down. There is a circle of life.

Of course there were a few that got it right and so
on a positive note here are the

Best Dressed
Jessica Chastain wore Givenchy
Anne Hathaway wore Ralph Lauren
Poppy Delevigne wore Marchesa
Amal Clooney wore Galliano
Rosie Huntington Whiteley wore Versace.
Bee Shaffer wore Alexander Mcqueen
Livia Firth wore Antonio Berardi who used fabric made from plastic bottles.
Kendal Jenner wore Calvin Klein.
Alexa Chung wore Erdem
Karolina Kurkova wore Tommy Hilfiger
Sienna Miller wore Thakoon

Worst Dressed
Rihanna Wore Pei
Beyonce Wore Givenchy
Kim Kardashian wore Roberto Cavalli
Sarah Jessica Parker (I love Phillip but...) and an eco friendly dress by HM
Anna Wintour wore Chanel


Best make up
Rihanna
Jessica Chastain
Amal Clooney
Anne Hathaway
Most imaginative dress
Solange Knowles.



Now I shall study my favourite "do gooder" Tony Robbins and clean out my mouth.

Tuesday, 21 April 2015






I was sitting yet again in the back of a taxi to Heathrow Airport. Again I was discussing the state of Great Britain and again the taxi drivers are almost without exception Conservative. I did however worry today when the taxi driver thought that UKIP and the Labour Party were on the same side?. Ignorance may be bliss but we should all try and understand the benefits of each party and what they stand for.  I am totally in love with Nigel Farage. His charisma and forceful personality completely charm me. I wish people would analyse what he says clearly, rather than putting words into his mouth which he has not said?. The other sides are so terrified of him splitting the vote.
 Nigel says things that people say in hushed tones all round London, but dare not speak allowed for fear of being called racist, or crazy. He stands up for everything we believe in here in the United Kingdom when you dig a little deeper. I am also a fan of Cameron but his hands are tied in a hung parliament.

Now back to craziness of our electoral system, where nobody will actually rule in the next government. It will be most likely a hung parliament. Voting should be obligatory, and if you have good thoughts for this country you should want to vote. Nobody can complain if they do not.
It is vital for the welfare of this brilliant country we live in to completely understand most of what is said.
UGH.. oh goodness caught out.


THE RICH
In my opinion Miliband is not capable of handling the welfare of the British People as clever as he is, he is not shrewd or diplomatic, having dismissed his brother and the "The Rich",  he has clearly been influenced by his Father's Communist background and believes in shelling out to the poor in huge amounts, while draining and disillusioning the rich?. This is all very well, however you need the rich. You need balance. There will always be clever people around and we need to bring people up to a level where they can fend for themselves, not be a nanny state.

THE NATIONAL HEALTH, and EMERGENCY SERVICES.
I believe we all want a workable and accessible National Health system, where doctors are able to see people when they are sick and get a reliable prognosis. This however should not be extended to those that are not British citizens unless there are accidents. A health system which works, reliable Emergency Services, e.g. Fire, Police and Hospitals are a must.

VAT
I believe that we do not need to make differences between the rich and poor. There will always be rich people, the rich love a game with taxation so simply tax them on VAT and make sure they pay it.
Why should they leave without contributing to our system that they so enjoyed? If you took everything away from the rich people they would have it all going on again within years. The politicians should work with them not against them. When in America I do not claim the tax back, here in England foreigners can?. VAT is 20 percent of every purchase made. This would solve quite a few problems and so the loop hole has to go. I also believe that everybody should pay VAT.

MANSION TAX
I believe a mansion tax is destructive and is a tax only to Londoners. Why should they be taxed on their number one house. By all means tax them on other properties they own. Stamp duty has made it difficult to sell in the higher end of the market. This leaves another problem that most likely the houses in the upper ranges will sell to yet more foreigners, forcing the British to move from the centre on London. It does not make for an efficient and vital market.

OUR ECONOMY
We are a service economy e.g. banking economy thats why they like it in London. We are not a manufacturing economy because it is not feasible to get people to work with competitive wages. The unions do not like it.

EDUCATION
Our education system is so important. Not everybody is a computer fanatic, and the arts have been neglected. The arts rely on the rich people in London supporting them, therefore they may not pay tax, but they support in large amounts the charities around London, it is incorporated into the social scene and so easy to get huge amounts of money.  Remember this we need them. We need the rich. Think about the number of people in Belgravia, Mayfair and Kensington and Chelsea areas that rely on foreign investment for their pay?  All children whether academic or not should be receiving an education where they leave speaking English to a standard.

ALLEGIANCE TO GB
People who are from foreign lands should swear allegiance to Great Britain as they do in the United States and Australia. We should equally only take on people who will contribute in whatever way to our country. We are full at the moment, it is clear that there are simply too many people in the world and we should think about this.

HELP ABROAD
The boat that has just sunk outside Tunisia needs to be addressed. People need help.  They are leaving because of their country not because of ours. Nobody should come to England unless they have four years worth of cash. United Kingdom, and what it actually is.
They will be poor arriving in a city which is already full to capacity and has not room
Whilst we feel it is our right to have everything on the strap we have have a problem re educating people. The money has to come from the population and it means that each one of us pay for the unemployed and unemployable.
Charity should start at home first and foremost.

EUROPE
I believe we should have a referendum for our place in Europe. With Germany taking over in a bombastic and unattractive way, we need to review our place in a system where people receive huge salaries and bonuses.

Make sure you understand taxation before voting and don't muddle up the parties.
Good luck and enjoy the "game"




Friday, 10 April 2015

It is that time of year when I remember beautiful things. I love the spring in April in London. Charles my son was born on the 15th and I felt I had given birth to Jesus. It was also my Mother's birthday and since her death I definitely appreciate all the wonderful things she gave me. The confidence that you could fly, you achieve anything through a smile and a good attitude. Of course most of the time I was a bolshy bitch, but boy I have to hand it to my Mother, she did her best to feed my ambitions. Then it is also the birthday of my wonderful friend Miss Julia Laverne who has pushed me into being her favourite "Dolly" who at this moment in her dreams is  being photographed  by Frank Powolny, and wearing a dress by Helen Rose in Party Girl. This is why she cannot get impressed by Balenciega, Her make up at this minute is being done in her head by Wally Westmores. The  geniuses behind contouring. No, Kim Kardashian was  not the first person to make use this, all actresses used this method for black and white films from the start of the movie industry.
I am happy in London, with the best view of the river, the sound of laughter with my wonderful friend Rushka Bergman upstairs in a bedroom overlooking beautiful gardens of Cheyne Walk.
The Magnolia trees are blossoming, and their petals are gently falling to the ground.

PHOTOGRAPH STYLED BY RUSHKA BERGMAN AND PHOTOGRAPHED BY AMANDA ELIASCH
1999

Rushka I met in 1998. I had gone to get my photographs approved at V Magazine in New York, but they were all nudes and they wanted me to do fashion. I did not really get the concept of just fashion then. I rang my then friend who ran an agency there, and she told me to go round to her office and choose a stylist to work with. To get photographs suitable for the "Fashion World". I went and there I found in amongst the ordinary middle of the range stylists my now friend "Rushka". Her work was so inspiring.  Old historic faces from the middle ages stared back at me, beautiful romantic photographs that she had worked on. I knew she was the girl for me. I met her and immediately we started washing up together, cleaning of all things. I soon learnt that Rushka said the word "Ridiculous" as if it was created just for her in the Hollywood Dream factory and I equally love my photographs we made together. Although we were told off for doing romantic, photographs with bicycles and lace, they are still some of my favourites. Luckily they went into an exhibition called Peep with the Proud Galleries, and later on accompanying my poetry in Cloak and Dagger Butterfly.
Rushka after Isabella Blow suggested I turned myself into a version of Marilyn Monroe which led me to be The fashion Editor at Genlux Magazine. I believe truly that Rushka Bergman did more for Balenciega than Balenciega. When I look at vintage Balenciega I see matronly gowns and coming out dresses. Rushka, made the brand hip, as did the designers, Nicholas and Andy. Truly most of the big houses she celebrates in her huge wardrobe, she gives elegance and personality to.
In my mind, however, you cannot beat the stunning designs of Hollywood's heyday. The dream factory. The clothes of today do not make you into a star, the labels just make you look like a rich
caked up street person, most of the time.
To have equality you have to drag everybody down a long way. Hence my dislike of the Labour Party. I like individuals. Great Britain is famous for their individuality. Not everybody wants to be greyish. We all after all come from nothing and leave with nothing.
Instead let's bring back glamour chiffon round the shoulders and feathers at every opportunity. They are for the bedroom. They sweep the floor like nothing else. Let's also bring back the dress maker.
RUSHKA BERGMAN STYLING OF NICKI MINAJ PHOTOGRAPHED BY FRANCESCO CARROZZINI

So much has happened that is incredible in the last few years.
Beautiful things. Rushka has had the vision to immortalise many people in Italian Vogue, L'uomo Vogue, by styling clients like Kim Kardashian, Jay Z, Kanye West, Beyonce, The King of Pop, the late, Michael Jackson and last but not least the little eccentric button of woman Nicki Minaj, pink long nails, talons for scratching.

It's not fashionable to be nostalgic, but let's be honest few have true glamour. Nobody wants nostalgia because it will make everything look so very drab today. I like real talent, I like people who can really sing and really dance, and really create. Nicky has the "IT" factor.
I am going to finger my collection and decide who I shall be today.  I want to be a woman first, then a sexy woman, Maria Schell? Do you remember her?
I certainly do not want to look like an avaricious grasping nagging wife of a Russian tycoon. I shall remain the same and go from show business to suicide and back again.

Tuesday, 7 April 2015

Yesterday I had so much fun in the Saatchi Gallery.  I am a huge fan of Charles, and his exhibitions inspire me. His new exhibition titled Papagaea has so many layers that it intrigues you and it is the third time I have visited it.
Two months ago I loved the ants in the previous exhibition by Raphael Gomezbarros, which could not fail to impress you and I begged  him for one. The exhibition is now in a small upstairs room, but you can still see an edited version. After a delicious lunch at the Colbert on Sloane Square, where you can drink coffee, eat pastries and have a delicious lunch. The new exhibition is fascinating  although I loathed the plastic bags installation for their lack of beauty, but that was the point.  I did want to jump into them with my friends. Sometimes I just long to have tourettes of the body and land plonk down in the middle of the vast installation containing 97,000 bags by Jean Francois Boucle.
I hate the way Galleries describe artworks, they should be living objects, instead the brochures are unappealing and taking the piss, more intellectual than the object they describe.
In another room  there were huge images of trees by Yukan Teruya, made out of paper bags from Macdonald's and any other paper he could find, turning waste into art. The huge trees were utterly beautiful. Not only is this room showing you what you can create with a little imagination and talent, it is eco friendly.
The gallery shop is totally worth visiting and I wanted nearly everything in it..
As I have a problem with my tree in the front garden, its roots have broken the front wall, but its leaves dispel the sound of the cars, this truly fascinated me.
Go and see it, after that have tea at The Ivy on the Kings Road, part of the group, it is a must, but book first.

Saturday, 28 March 2015

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Since the beginning of the year I have had some comedy episodes.  It started with going to the Oscars and on my way out losing my car pass. A pink unmissable piece of paper, then, because the car was late and I dared comment about it, being told I was a sixty year old woman and that I should not complain.  The facts are facts I am 54, born 1960. I do not need anybody's help and can drive myself to any party. I just hate being late, I think it is rude so I took off my clothes and cuddled up with my hairdresser girlfriend Angela Kalinowski. I drank a bottle of Dom Perignon, which I would never normally do,  and watched the Oscars from the comfort and luxury of my hotel suite at The Beverly Hills Hotel. It felt good. I slowly became happier and happier as the people I wanted to win, won.
Then there was the dramas of house buying the market in Los Angeles which is so fast that I ended up putting three offers on houses in one day. The market is so fast that you are lucky to get past the starting block.

WORTH MAKING LOVE FO

I adore Tamara de Lempicka, and she is having a show in Turin. I  own a lot of her furniture, as the woman who eventually bought my  apartment in Paris did not want Mallet Steven's pieces made for Tamara, I am lucky to have them for my enjoyment. However my friend who is meant to be more than a friend, went to the show without me. This would have been fine, but I had had him to stay in the apartment. and we had met over his painting. I of course just wanted to see the best painting in the world "the girl in a red dress" hang pride of place. Forgetting it was the most romantic place that I have ever lived in, he slammed the door on my jammy wet fingers. The house in Rue Mechain has so many memories for me. I was trapped in the lift with my lover as he kissed my neck, I made passionate love on Tamara's sofa. The incredible staircase designed by Mallet Stevens that left you in awe, and the two exits in the substantial artist studio in Montparnasse.  I used to listen to Bach being played by an incredible pianist downstairs called Nelly.  On top of that I worked so hard with a friend to bring the apartment at 7 rue Mechain tastefully back to life. I felt a connection with Tamara she haunted me and I agree with her statement that she lived on the margins of society where normal rules don't apply as she lived on the fringe. Me too, We both love net over our faces, hiding our truth and pain...

A DRAWING AT THE IVY SALE AT SOTHEBYS BY LUCIEN FREUD

I then went to see the drama of Antigone and argued like Juliette Binoche all the way back in a taxi, whilst discussing whether the Greeks really do have vile characters where they wish to kill everybody.   There was also the question whether it was actually based on Josephine Hart's brilliant book "Damage" where each line was a pearl.  The film was not up to much. Despite the script by David Hare, Directed by Louis Malle, Juliette Binoche and  Jeremy Irons, there was little sexy in it, the book had it all. After a dinner, there followed much debate on Dolce and Gabbana's faux pas. or was it freedom of speech which others were arguing?. My goodness never a dull moment.

JULIETTE BINOCHE WITH JEREMY IRONS IN DAMAGE


With social media as strong as it is today, you don't need PRs looking after you round the clock you can do it yourself. That is the danger and its success.

Two days ago, I put a statement up on Facebook saying that "What on earth am I going to wear since Galliano has been insulting to the Jews and I chopped up his clothes (which of course is not true), Vivienne Westwood, chose to be anti British when she has received all the benefits of being a British, so I binned the tartan, which is true as she has certainly enjoyed the accolades of being a British Dame. and Dolce and Gabbana called IVF children "Synthetic" saying they needed both a mother and a father.  Wow the eclipse definitely made its mark. A huge row ensued between David Furnish, Elton John and the designer. Quite rightly the children do not want to be thought of as "Nylon and Plastic"

Last night I went to see lots ready to be sold at Sothebys for the Ivy Restaurant. Beautiful drawings of Virginia Woolf, Lucien Freud and Tracey Emin hanging together with tables set for Mrs Thatcher at the start of the Faulkland crisis.

TRACEY EMIN's DRAWING AT SOTHEBYS IVY RESTAURANT SALE

Previously I had gone round to a friends house and I am now definitely terrified of dogs, the only place safe was the bath. I was being taught by a twelve year old how to be cool. She was saying "Don't smile. pout, put two fingers open against the mouth" "Listen to me. pout"  I was quite nervous to get it wrong.





After the rather sad 'end of an era' sale at Sothebys, where the doors of the famous Ivy restaurant were being sold off,  I went off to the new hotel hidden away on Duke Street, The Belmont for potted shrimps and liver pate with my great girlfriend the glamorous and witty Trinny Woodall, where we discussed her make up line and how to charm Wikipedia.

AMANDA ELIASCH, HENRY WYNDHAM and TRINNY WOODALL

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