A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR SOLICITORS

There must be a special place in hell for solicitors?. How can they justify the price of three hundred pounds an hour, when their written advice is just cut and paste? It is after all only common sense made official?  My sons are pretty good solicitors already without the training.   I am trying to buy my Freehold and am shocked about the amount of hidden costs involved.  
The Bank wants the valuation made official, which cost two and half thousand pounds, the solicitors want another two and a thousand pounds to do it, and the estate agent wants three and a half thousand pounds, to give a valuation. I think the figures just drop from the trees.  
I then asked for my new idea for a film to be made official, that also cost two and a half thousand pounds. The costs seem to be the same?. Of course the solicitors have all done ten hours of work?.  Oh yes? I wish there was a camera on them as they snooze, speak to friends and read their messages on facebook.
When I got divorced I actually found my solicitors charming, but when when I look at the fees, I was not exactly living with them and I became best friends with their secretary. Their fees were so high that I could buy another house in Battersea? They were never available on Friday afternoons and remember that to moan costs you another five hundred pounds, but thank goodness I got their secretary. They actually seemed to have more holidays than my children. I refused to pay the last bill where they did not manage to get my ex husband to agree to remove a put and pull option on my house. (That means should you not understand, that my husband was able to buy my house back for the amount we agreed at the time. If someone paid more than that amount I had to pay him the difference, the way the solicitors told me was so complicated. Basically in a down market I would be covered but a rising one I would lose.  I was therefore unable to stay in my marital home due to their advice. 
I spent the week end happily with two friends writing a new script.  What fun it is to make up stories and imagine a horror film coming alive. Thrilling.
I have two projects  and they are no longer on a back burner, so my next few weeks should be incredible, except for the bills from solicitors.