TOMORROW YESTERDAY

I felt shy

I felt I wanted to hide

behind a smile

I felt trapped by

no thought

I felt

I talked too much

I wanted to feel again

and yet I could

not

I wanted to be held

to listen to

nothing

but the silence of

the heart beat

I wanted to be hugged

in the low light

of a yellow room

but all I could hear

was the shallow 

talk 

of before and tomorrow

I looked up 

and saw his eyes

loving and in love

I could smell him

I could touch his hair

but all I could do was turn

my back and creap into

sheets that were

yesterdays

I wanted him

I wanted him to

tame me

but he was not there

to tame the wild beast

I have become

I have forgotten

the sensitivity

of fingers

on my back

but I liked him kissing

my neck

I just wish he hadn't talked.

there was nothing to say

I liked him and that

is why

I was there.