Saturday, 11 February 2017

LOVERS BEWARE


With Valentine's day approaching. it is all caky and balloons. I was sitting at a dinner the other night and a man  yet again assumed I would like to meet him in the afternoon. So everybody knows in the future,  I am a dominatrix, I wish I had known in the past when men fancied me I would have brought my riding crop and a broken tooth brush.


The minute a man says he is coming round, I am off, don't they know I like latent homosexual men with less food in the fridge than I have? Whatever people think I am doing, what could possibly make them think I want their sweaty hormonal body in my house in my drawing room, they are very mistaken, I shall squash that immediately.
Just because I have blonde hair and a smiling disposition does not make me want to be associated with their cigarette smoking, alcohol ridden stench. Smoking to cover the smell.   Grinning with their short yellow teeth sometimes  holding in their ageing stomach. If I find a dishy clean smelling captain of industry with a twin brother I will share him out with my friends. The rest are chancers. 
Just because I am smiling at everybody,  I maybe just showing my teeth!!
The truth is I should have known,  blondes have a sexuality that other women recognise and are threatened by,  but actually men like the sensuality of a brunette.  I had a boyfriend once who said to me  "You walk ahead because of the paps"  

Men think blondes are disposable, but the men I know who did this got thumped in the face by the treacherous softly spoken brunette.

I find  there are quite a few people on the planet who I should stock up with lots of garlic and a crucifix when I see them.
As I look in the mirror I realise we must celebrate who we are, ten years from now we will be having surgery to look as we do today.




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