Sunday, 20 September 2015


Life is an abyss of political correctness, open your mouth and you fall in.  Men have no idea how to compliment you. Yesterday I am sitting in Uber when the driver tells me I am  incredibly attractive. That he wants to seduce me, and that it's his lucky day. Then looks at me through a misty mirror and says I look incredibly good for 51. He might as well have said I was 80. Just so you all know boys, 51 is somewhere between 50 and death. If you are going to tell lies at least make them attractive.

I immediately dialled my plastic surgeon for latest updates as clearly I need them. Lose skin is out, and I don't give a damn about ageing surgery. As there was no skin showing all being hidden I wondered what was ageing. I think I should show no skin and join ISIS but their idea of a neck lift is a bit radical.

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