Tuesday, 17 February 2015

THE OLDEST MAN IN THE ROOM HAS THE DARKEST HAIR AT THE OSCARS

I decided to be white skinned three days ago, thinking that bronzing made women look sweaty.  There was a sort yellow colour going through the Globes two weeks ago, making the women look rather hot and wet. Wet and nasty is probably the accurate description. As we come up to the Oscar week end the mens hair will be being dyed that rather too dark shoe polish colour. I was always told when I was young that the darkest hair in the room was the oldest man. There is that tinge of red that goes round the brow giving the game away. Poor men, botox, face lifts and boot polish hair colour just don't suit them.  That is why all the girls fancy George Clooney. A real man with real hair. HAHAHA Do you think he has grey highlights, adding to the mature sexy mystery appeal?.
Looking at my body this morning I realise that sex and the pink pig skin may not go together. I have since telephoned my girlfriends to make me have that tinge of orange again. One them Svetlana swears that it is liquid prozac and Amber Spray tans says the bronzing hides the battle of the bulge. They arrive looking super perky, bronzed and svelte.
At the moment I am lying in bed with dark sunglasses and curtains because of my fathers stupidity of having another child.  I always wanted to be the only one and now big bird is out there born five year after me. A boy friend said to me yesterday, thank goodness there is a younger model around.
I arrived back in my room despite having driven to Palm Springs by mistake with George Blodwell, stylist and meeting a brilliant costume/jacket maker called Samiah, to find balloons in my bedroom with an Oscar for the best dressed most tantalising woman. That made me feel better.
SAMIAH

This morning I was lucky enough to meet the girls Stacey and Darcy who make House of Eleven leggings in so many colours and with such a good shape that your legs will swing into action.
All of which made me open those curtains a little more.
I then was buying a house out here, at 2114 Ivar Avenue, when lo and behold  after having signed all the papers the seller,  a man called Ron boringly pulled a fast one. Ron the seller said we had not spoken to him, and that he was now renting out the property., but stupidly on his side of things we taped him and we have our telephone bills.  A little dishonourable and he wasted a lot of my agents time. He rang her 15 times in a day and she tripped and broke her toes. People in Los Angeles have to be watched carefully. This man called Ron wanted me to pay for bills that he had not paid on other projects.
While the rest of the world think about Je suis Charlie and The ancient sect of Coptic Christians killed by Isis the LA people think about what Kim Kardashian is wearing and the Oscars.
Well you know who I think should win.
ACTOR
Eddie Redmayne for best Actor. (Although Benedict Cumberbatch is good in Imitation Game)
ACTRESS
Julie Anne Moore for best Actress.
BEST FILM
Best film for me is Imitation Game because I love the story of Enigma but again I love Hotel Budapest for the quirky literature and script and Theory of Everything the s
tory of Stephen Hawking's early relationship.
BEST MUSIC
Best Music Imitation Game/Hotel Budapest Alexandre Desplat
If the Academy give it to the new upstart, Johan Johannsson who in my opinion plagiarised Desplat's work in the Theory of Everything, then I give up thinking that the Academy means anything. Surely the amount of work that Hans Zimmer, Alexandre Desplat, counts for something?
BEST SCRIPT,
Hotel Budapest, as it is highly individual
BEST FOREIGN FILM
Ida.

With parties and opening at LA Italia, Bulgari, Art of Elysium, Elton John's, Vanity Fair, etc
There will hopefully not be a minutes peace.

I am still looking up from the moon to the stars although there has been some drama. Don't you notice when you say you are happy somebody comes and slaps you in your face to remind you, its not real?



I hope I do not have to raise my eyebrows done by The brow gal on Sunday, if the wrong people win.
Anyway at least my hair will look good as I swan into Le Salon and have it beautifully done by Angela Kalinowski in The Sofitel Hotel, where the crew of Ida will be staying. Gia Sinatra said I said to her the other day "Can one of your girls come round and do my and fuck off" I can't remember it was a dark sunglass day. They are the best hair in town I say.







No comments:

Followers