Wednesday, 18 February 2015

HOLLYWOODS VERSION OF ROYALTY? Kim Kardashian? Dita Von Teese? Amal Amaluddin? Anglina Jolie? Let's get it right.

A celebrity, icon and a star?. Over used meaningless words but let's get them straight.

Bettie Davies was not a celebrity she was a star.

I would hate to be a celebrity. I live a stars life, but am not recognised, I prefer it that way. I could be in the press every week, for all the wrong reasons, however I choose not to be. A billboard goes up on Sunset Boulevard to promote my movie not my booty.

In The Beverly Hills Hotel yesterday sneaking through entrance was Kim Kardashian, with three hours of contouring, flat sneakers in navy, scraped back hair, and much more petite and elegant than the all the cleavage public persona. She looked pretty and fresh and off to the gym.
Kim Kardashian may be an A lister, Princess Kim, but please she is not a celebrity, royalty or a star, and certainly not iconic, she is recognised because she is recognised, like a box of cornflakes, easily identifiable.  What for? What is she? She is a Los Angeles Debutante. She is an household name, because she made sure she is recognisable,  but she is not a celebrity.  She has had covers of Vogue, and featured in Genlux, LA Confidential and many more. Nobody would say Kim is wonderful for her beautiful voice in Salome or playing Cleopatra,  she has not achieved celebrity status. She is simple in primary colours. She is famous for wearing barely there clothes, filling a champagne glass and stripping.  If she can do this with champagne, I can't wait to see what she can do with the canap├ęs? Bellini anyone? The Kardashian family have done little for society, or for the arts so they are not socialites. A socialite in the real use of the word is someone who helps the arts and helps the old. The Kardashian's scream look at me look at me, and when I do, I say "I am looking now, show me something meaningful" Although I can see the cornflakes I can see the granola over there.  She is definitely not a bad person, very decorative and as I said quite demure in real life, however in photographs, she look like a bordello babe or a hooker. She is loved by many people and has a spectacular husband, Kanye West.


Dita Von Teese is a cabaret artiste with an exotic dance routine has much elegance. An erotic gymnast. She has a much bigger champagne glass. In her routine she allows no photographs, she stops  her performance to tell the photographer off. She expunges all photography until she checks it.
She likes pre washed white towels, a full mini bar, a bedroom and her own bathroom to remove all lint before her performances. Of course I offered her the North Wing at my then house in Eden Place. It was nearer to her perspex bath. She managed to maintain the mystique by not mingling with her public. She puts her hands, her slim elegant digits out like Her Majesty The Queen and I want to curtsy.


Kim of course is very viewable but not watchable, and I am a huge fan, but let's for a second think. A star is someone who has achieved a lot, she or he has been an actor in huge productions. A star was Marilyn Monroe, Rita Heyworth, Brigitte Bardot and is now George Clooney, Brad Pitt and a starlet was Joan Collins and is now Jennifer Lawrence.


Fame can get in the way of your credibility in Hollywood, as in the case of Angelina Jolie. The film, Unbroken was okay, but criticised because she was too famous.
Sam Taylor Wood, is a credible Artist from the East End of London, once married to Jay Jopling,  owner of The White Cube Gallery. Sam broke all records opening her film on Valentines Day with the much over hyped Fifty shades of Grey, based on a best seller and very second rate semi pornographic book. She has made it by turning it into a completely second rate film. This does not make Sam a Star, it makes her director to be admired with over 200 million dollars globally made on the first week end. I actually still prefer her small film she made with a Hare and an apple. What aged first. It was genius, highly imaginative and moving. When I photographed her for British Artists at work she cancelled twice, but there is something endearingly interesting but she is definitely not regal.

People who are iconic usually have won a nobel peace prize or two, the booker prize would include Hockney, Picasso and Obama. In the future, it will probably go to Mrs George Clooney, Amal Amaluddin for retrieving the Marbles.

Amal retrieving the Marbles

Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista and Naomi Cambell are models who do a lot for their industry, it is not their social structure, they work and they do it because they want to be a professional.
What is Kim's profession?
Even when you do celebrity big brother you are a Z list and not an A lister.

I am off to have my hand moulded now so that it can become a mechanical device for my car so I can wave at my public evan when not driving. So if I make a hand gesture from my car I might be on the other side of the planet.

Where are all the stars?  What is a star.

They of course want to get into that slinky tight fitting dress by Sunday for the Oscars and so spend all day with their trainers, their dieticians, their pr's, their agents, the magazines, their make up and hair stylists. With four days to go it is essential that all goes to plan. It is busy with endless telephone calls, late night sessions with their astrologer, the stars are all desperate to know if they will win.
Their cupboards are full of borrowed ideas, clothes and jewellery. There are non stop visits by their assistants to the gifting suites. Everybody is on the take, the suite of the hotel is overflowing with flowers and invitations, the nerves are beginning to show.

 The Oscar Party, Elton's, Craig's and The Vanity Fair Party.
The funny thing is that although I have been to the major parties, they are usually full of wannabes. Elton's of course has several major Hollywood players but bare in mind the majority of A listers are at the Oscar's themselves and the losers will be in no mood to party.
There are so many events this week, Bulgari, Gagosian, Art of Elysium, Louis Vuitton and Chanel all have events. The desperados are out in force, whether it is the jeweller or the socialite paying for the party, the party people are out, which are different from the A list stars.

For me I am going to Elton's but I would rather have my make done, my hair done, be in a corset and a ball dress and recline in bed with my lover eating cheese sandwiches while watching him on television win an oscar.

On Sunset Boulevard and Harper with my fellow actress Justine Glenton


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