Saturday, 17 August 2013


I am listening to a friend of mine say "I am only happy in front of a mirror" in Los Angeles, I wonder what they see in their face? Truth or lies?
Is saying sorry to another person so hard to do? It seems that arrogance and ego come in to play in funny ways. Another ego maniac passes saying "grumpy grumpy grumpy"
Some people just do not like to be ignored or loved.
I look hard at my face in the same mirror and say to myself, I shall only have people around who make me feel good, who are good for me. I am not bending over backwards to give myself oral sex, but at the same time I am also not going to listen to somebody who is egocentric and who only thinks they are good.  There are many people in this town who are talented, MANY.  Many do not have jobs. They are survivors. Tell me what direction to go into because you get lost in other peoples intellectual property. I am then told "Just turn gay and get lost in this city, you will go far"

This city is essentially middle class, with a surburban feel to it. I am used to the chaos and smog of  the City of London. I am loving the sunshine and everybody saying "Good morning" as they pass.
This week was brilliant, I saw the Helmut Newton Show here and an incredible film on his life. I met him with Maurice and Josephine Saatchi in the South of France. He was a hero of mine.
The show was underneath the CAA offices. Of course I bumped into a young guy with loads of scripts "are they any good, I asked" he said "He had not read them yet"
Helmut's women are hidden behind smoky eyes and red lips, nude wearing stiletto shoes.  The women perfect in their female splendour.  Truth is not there, they are fake. Big and bold, sexy with handcuffs, and unshaven. These women rule the world as I enter the  Annenberg gallery. These women are not afraid. The drip sexuality.
I spent time with Nikki Lund who let me try on her entire couture collection which had been worn by stars, I felt so glamorous. Nikki looks darling with a guitar and a smile. She is truly my new best friend here under the bright blue sky.
Kiss my boots, fuck the planet, life is good.
Hey I am nominated for best female director in Burbank's International Film Festival and nothing could be better.

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