Saturday, 15 June 2013

WITHOUT GAY MEN I am 45 minutes away from being a bag lady

Without Gay Men I would look like shit, and if I wasn't so terrified of 'high heals' I would be a lesbian. No doubt about it. I just happen to like men. I try to make it work but I always seem to fail.
I am happiest surrounded by them like the pied piper. When I was little my mother used to laugh as she said she had never seen so many men around any one person. Invariably though I am either asking them to pay for their teeth, or throwing heels at them.  Spiky red ones. I was lucky not to fight with one or two, a rare happening that I should laugh round the world with one, and another I met in the afternoons for romantic romps. I have tried magic to be more understanding, I have seen therapists only to spend my precious hour in tears. At last at the great age of over 50, I am laughing and have never had such a good time with them. Perhaps it is the menopause?. Perhaps it is a laissez faire attitude? But my nails are staying in tact and I have never been happier.I have just finished my first film on just this subject at the NYCIFF this Monday 17th June, 8pm at 54 Varick Street, Tribeca Cinemas. Come if you need a strap on, come if you need a laugh and come if you want to get some.
It is inconvenient that Kim Kardashian's baby came today as I would love her to come and see my raunchiness.
My friend says I am the witchiest witch on the planet. Be brave and bold, to be a retiring flower is really not interesting unless you wish to be a spy?.
Anyway all this stops me buying dresses which I now simply have to do, as there is not one inch of  wardrobe space left and it I want a special person in my life, I had better leave some room, as the book the secrets told me. I had better listen....

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