Sunday, 24 March 2013


I have been rushed off my feet for weeks getting my film ready and there still is masses to do.  Today I am showing it for the first time at the BFI although I am planning to re shoot two or three scenes. I do not like them anymore. The people in it seem jaded and my friend Peter Medak made me see with new eyes. He felt the film should only be about the ego and the alter ego, keep it simple. Only two people to tell a story, with masses of music, wonderful appearances, four or five gorgeous men who look incredible and some funny stories.  Soon Tuesday there could be massive sieving. Oh dear...

I strive for perfection as it is  attractive but only a few people can achieve this. In the end it is a two edge sword. This film, The gun the cake and the butterfly, has given me wonderful moments and I have loved making it.
As for love, love love...
My worst fear would be to live with someone that I didn't love. I have done it, but not enjoyed it.  It is better to be on my own than to only tolerate another human in my life. Love is the most wonderful thing. That is what I am aiming for, total adoration. Okay enough about love. With the man of my life I had to be silent and invisible just to stay in the equation..Not for me.

There are things I like, like, charity and forgiveness are top of the list. As we are all small mammals it is easier to forgive than to carry huge sacks on your back.  I like to give things to people, many presents, much love. I like them to succeed. However, although not an accountant, I do like something in return. Acknowledgement, gratitude, forgiveness, love would be good. Some people are incapable of any friendship unless it has a carrot in front of the letter F, usually in the shape of CASH.

This week I was fortunate to see Jeanne Marine host a wonderful event in aid of the terrible calamity in Japan, The Massato and Yukiko Foundation, held at their famous hair salon in Fulham Road, and see  my other wonderful friend,Nicky Haslam's opening at OKA for his new book Folly de Grandeur.  It was a busy week, then I had a fabulous dinner with the outspoken and charming Mark Shand. I asked him how much it would be to save the elephant trails throughout India so they can roam freely would cost about fifty million. You would think that one of the rich Indians would want to do that? It is not just the elephants that would benefit but other animals? He is a man with a heart to fight for such a wonderful beast. He is giving the party of the year on the 9th July.

Success is a decision, a decision you have to take. I have taken it.

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