Thursday, 1 November 2012

Why does rain give me such appalling depression and create destruction in my life?.  It just does even though  in Thailand, it  gives me time to think about slitting my wrists, rather than going to the kitchen and getting a knife out.  Yesterday it fell heavily in time to saying goodbye to my past life and changing my new one. I moved from the Amanpuri, the gentle paradise, and part of my life with my ex husband. Beautiful serene and with some very good memories.  I am now at the Tresara Hotel run by the Amanpuri's former manager, Anthony Lark. Comfortable and luxurious it is a most special and wonderful hotel indeed.  A mans hotel.  Everything works and it feels perfect for the Japanese and American perfectionist.  
The rain falls on the swimming pool heavily as I feel like entering my coffin, a full moon and halloween.  I am thinking about the poor people of New York and wondering whether as the ice caps melt , the water levels rise, that the vision I once had of this capital being under water, actually happens?.  I would like my son to leave it immediately but he is doing his graduation soon from Mannes College of Music, part of New College, and I must support him to the end of it.  Europe is a tricky place for a budding opera singer, and a university degree in Music is frowned upon. What a culture we live in where the arts are neglected in favour of a business degree? I am so proud of my son Charles who follows his dreams.  He  follows in the family tradition. My grandmother was a concert pianist, my mother an opera singer, Charles's grandfather a pianist and a doctor, and his sister a concert pianist. My other son sounds like Frank Sinatra, if only he would let anybody listen.  I am the only lucky one to know he has ability.
Now I am going to finish filming in Thailand the documentary part. 

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