I sleep on my own
I take up a king size bed
I sleep on top of the
sheets
and sideways
I sleep with a mask
on
I curl up with a
rabbit
and my computer
on the side
my make up bag open
I am tidy but not by
my bed
a handbag is open
my shoes are
abandoned
a cup and apple juice
forgotten
some old pills
a ring
that I love
a necklace
some glasses
I look at bricks and try
to count the number of
times we have met
I fall asleep
to the sound of digging
a truck outside
someone laughing
I wish it was me
A car passes
I tidy up
I get up and weigh
myself
and listen to a french
love song
I am happy I am sad
I have no thoughts
I remember nothing
I stare at the air
I remember nothing I look
at the sky and its grey
I make my bed
I bath I clean my teeth
I smile and check
I am running through life
with a thin veil of
truth
but I remember
your laugh
I remember his laugh
and I hear your
voice and I hear his
and you are in the room
again
so I am not lonely
I am alive
I am not frightened
of death
I am terrified I can
not stretch life