Sunday, 11 April 2010

I JUST WANTED TO DRESS YOU UP LIKE KEN













A long time ago I was into Gurus and Sages, I would attend lectures on how to get through life endlessly. There were many wonderful people, who helped guide me, and the one that meant the most to me was an attractive Indian woman called Gizi from Raja Yoga in London. I religiously attended her morning sessions on a Tuesdays for women only, to help me not make too many mistakes. Gizi is a pearl, a jewel of clarity and refinement. I actually retained most of what she told me. Of course I have probably forgotten some gems, but I remember being bemused by the act of present giving. She said we shouldn't do it because it put people in awkward positions, should they give you one back, and perhaps they couldn't afford to etc?. This I find a real bore as I love giving presents. I have fallen out with my best friend for giving him endless pairs of snakey jeans and tight white shirts, he felt I was too bossy and trying to control him. So I realise now that darling Gizi was right. Of course I just liked to dress him up like Ken and play with him as I would a Barbie Doll.

The same thing has just happened to me. I have been given so many beautiful things this week. A painting of me, my height, and with my alter ego. I have also had music written for me, and some copy write issues sorted out. The funny thing is I feel I deserve none of these things unless I pay for them. I automatically say how much?. I feel comfortable with that. Not paying makes me feel that I am a taker, I do not understand the generosity of strangers. I love to lavish my friends with billet doux, little poems and music, but when sent to me I think whats up, is someone going to kill me or rape me?. I have total faith in friends but others put droplets of water on the delicious cadeaux ruining the grace which they were given to me.
Then was the friend who I met over the internet who made me a new blog site.

Well I think there is a balance and we should give and take in equal measure.
But all of you out there with wonderful generous spirits thank you, my week has been the best ever.

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