Sunday, 18 April 2010

DONT DOG LOVE ME
















I rarely like other peoples dogs, they are like people to me, either I like them or I don't. I know immediately. People with dogs are so selfish with them, they assume that you will adore their filthy little puppy who lifts their legs against your white sofa, so I feel almost guilty about admitting that I am not crazy for this four legged affectionate creature that is dumped on my doorstep. The other day a dog came to the house and immediately wiped its bottom on the floor right in front of me. I didn't know what to say. Their appearance also effects me. I am fussy I like lean dogs with no hair, and only two breads, whippets and greyhounds. I just like their characters.I know what to expect, and I like to see something with a pedigree, not some mutt. I find most other breads annoying. I had two Italian Greyhounds that I wanted to give away immediately because they went to the loo all over the place, they also were continually trying to kill themselves, they were on some sort of death wish. Then there is the dog that paces up and down like a bored child and slurps about. People who feed their fido at the table drive me mad too, because the dogs then beg from you as well.

I like birds, they are beautiful creatures with colourful plumes who lead independent lives and sing crazily. Cats are independent too, but a dog needs continual walking and cuddling. Most people will think that I am weird and cold. I am sorry they were not brought up with eight dogs and they did not sleep with a whippet until they were 32, or clear up their mess, I did.

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