Sunday, 15 November 2009
HERE LIES AMANDA ELIASCH
Why is it so tricky for us to tell the truth? Why are there so many lies? I wake up and lie. If someone says, 'How are you?', you don't really want to say, 'Well, I have had the shits all night and I am ill.' No, so you lie. If people ask you to do something for them, you tend to say yes because to say no sounds so rude - and then you lie again. Today I saw the man who was giving me his tickets for New Moon tomorrow. It was a film I wanted to go to; the premiere was going to be good. However, this man had sold his tickets (so he says) for triple the price without telling me. Then he lied. He would have rather fallen out with me then told me what really happened - if it did.
I also lied today. Last night, I had the most brilliant time with the relatives of some American prophet - and it was so interesting, I couldn't be bothered to go to the MOCA after-party. I just wanted to concentrate on what I was hearing. So today I said I had gone, and hoped the people who had asked me wouldn't notice. Lies, lies, lies - everywhere we look, no one tells the truth. Tell a lie, we think, and keep a friend. 'I love you' is another lie. It feels comfortable. Quite honestly, I don't know what I think, but it's hardly ever' I love you'. You know what, I don't believe anything people say, now we have confused politeness with dishonesty and used lying to make ourselves look snow white. I also don't believe anything I hear about anyone,. Well,I believe it and I don't believe it. I just listen to my gut feeling - and if I find I am checking on someone, I dump them. I evan lie when I say I love you, but as I have no more feelings, I fake in order to feel, so I lie.
Lying about my weight, my clothing expenditure, the men I see,the people I like, the books I read, so many and its only 10.30am in the morning,,, How many have you told?