Saturday 4 July 2009

SOMETIMES STRANGERS ARE SAFER TO BE WITH THAN FRIENDS

Amanda,
My name`s Cristina , I am on your facebook and i am also a follower of your blog. Read your post concerning slattern, and felt very touched by it because I guess that I identify and once felt your pain and who is the one who never felt betrayed? I am well aware that you might be bleeding your own brandy right now but I would rather let you know that since January that the brazilian press has been talking about a wedding in the Hamptons in August, which allegedly would take place at Theodore Forstmann`s house, who happens to be a friend of the couple. So I doubt that this was a last minute thing as he wants you to believe.
I have no business expressing my opinion that wasn`t even requested, we don`t even know each other, but exactly because we don`t know each other you can just delete this email and we leave it here. I truly believe that your ex husband has the deepest respect for you and does regret the divorce as well as cares about your feelings. YES, you are and will always be respected a la Chinese, you will always be the first wife and the mother of his two sons Amanda. If there is anything that is the outcome of the slattering situation is pain for everybody, maybe a fake touch of happiness and victory on the other side but I can guarantee you that it is not tasting the way she wishes, envisioned or hoped it to be, and you know why? Because she will never be the first my dear. It is like sitting on a throne without the crown and vests because they belong to the first one.
You don`t need a single shot of brandy to look at the mirror, look inside your eyes and see who you are, all the moments you lived with that man and belongs just to both of you. Common Amanda, don`t make me feel silly, i am 28 years old, never married or engaged, no kids yet and I don`t have to have any experience with any of that myself to know how important it might be for a couple and for a man to hold in his arms his first son, I confess to you that I have no intentions to ever marry a man who already have kids or was previously married because I would be very sad and unhappy to know that I am not the first wife and that my kids with him would feel more like bastards than prince or princess. I am Brazilian, from the same state as Ana Paula, never saw her in person although I have friends from London who occasionally hang out with her and the crew. I also understand her and the pain she feels for trying to feel your shoes. She is queen in Brazil, living surrounded by bees as you know how it is and why. I keep writing and writing but not even sure that this is the best to do right now and even if you are interested.
Don`t ruin the good work you were doing with the cleansing, the best you can do is to take the best care possible of your own self. If one of this days you feel a little bit like Django and have an impulse of freedom take a plane to Vancouver and I will present you a city named Whistler, if you haven`t been here before. Pure nature, with one of the best yoga instructor`s ever, she happens to be from London. Nature heals the soul. Come to a place where nobody knows who you are and will treat you like the beautiful soul you are, with no strings or rings attached.
All my love to you, Cristina

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