Sunday, 5 July 2009


How shall I exist now, after my ex husband has remarried? Well, as I haven't lived with him for five years or so, I think I shall just about cope. One kind friend sent me marketing ideas on how to re brand. Now that is an idea and could be fun. It basically says in the first line that I shouldn't boast about my product, as it will shine through. I am looking in the mirror and hoping,
Living and being married to somebody does not mean you lose your own identity, in my case, it was rather difficult to lose. I am pretty strong willed and like to be free, as does his new wife. In fact I am very independent.
After two half days in bed with the curtains drawn and no air, feeling miserable and living in the past. I am much better. I went off to exercise yesterday, miracles will never cease and giggled with my sons who love my pilatis teacher Behsat Ahmet, discussing the latest opera, Norma, at Grange Park, which is meant to be brilliant.
Much better than sulking. Although lets face it sulking can be fun.
With a lighter feel, and a few less clingy friends and a good sense of humour I shall be just fine. I can continue to care for Jogues, and the boys and enjoy this extended modern family life. Divorce doesn't exactly mean what it is called in any case, just as marriage for me wasn't the 1950's ideal that I had hoped it would be. I had thought it would inlude baking bread,wearing aprons, liking cooking, the school run, barbeques, instead it was jet setty, not intimate,long Valentino dresses and quite corporate, but I am not complaining. I wish Johan and Ana lots of luck and love, now I have calmed down. In any case there were moments when I quite liked Ana, and we were almost friends. I asked her to my parties, and told my friends to be nice to her.
They do suit each other liking Parties, Politics, and Princes. I just wanted Johan to tell me, and not after the event. I like to be included, not excluded. I suppose he thought I would be screaming and yelling at the Registry Office. Well, darling, come on, I have a little pride.
As I said before, using the English language puts me into a great mood with some fabulous sounding words that work when you are feeling angry, but now as I am chirpy, what could be better than lying in bed cuddling my two beautiful healthy clever boys while I write.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Read The Magic of Thinking BIG

by David J Schwartz

And then read

The Magic of Getting what You Want

by the same author

He says "The mind is a multi-million dollar asset"