Friday, 26 June 2009


I dress in black, only black, black glasses, black platforms, black thick tights. I am attractive, some say very attractive. In Paris they sing as they pass by "boom be de de boom". They say I am a petite Marilyn. I want to appear thinner than I am, an asparagas, tall and skinny instead of round and healthy.
I like to appear happier than I am. I am not. Do not press me to talk about my feelings, it could make me insane. I just about exist. When people see me they see my hair, my blonde bubbly dyed hair, and red lips. It’s my ace card. I like every one to think I have no memory, but I see everything and notice everything about me in huge detail. I have loads of friends, they protect me, I am loved by my ex husband and boyfriends. They will do anything for me. I am loved, but am unable to feel loved enough. It is a black hole I travel into every day.

I think it’s good to change, to put yourself into difficult situations, I like to move country’s, stay for a year or two and travel again, I hate a relationship when you start to walk five steps behind in boredom, or when you are in neutral, that makes me go one hundred miles in reverse. I like to be free.

No comments: