Wednesday, 24 June 2009


I now have the luxury of a lovely girl in my closet, she is cataloguing all my wardrobe from the last twenty years. What a business it is. I take one look, cram a new dress in and slam the door crushing all my friendly occupants. I say friendly because I consider my clothes to have characters, especially my favourite ones. Dee the pretty blond, and assistant to Kim Hersov, an Editor at Harper Bazaar, gently teases them into their plastic covers, names them and puts them into order. I put them into order of preference which means that only the same clothes ever get worn. A black Chantale Thomas corset, and a Yves St Laurent chiffon shirt are reliable loves. Of course Dee sees everythings differently and is truly the wardrobe mistress. Be careful never to give anything away or throw those hideous platform round toed Yves St Laurent platforms out they are apparently collectors items on Ebay, and as for Terry Mugler, wish we hadn't given them to our poorer best friend. My wardrobe is an investment as you know, in the wardrobe I don't use, I have over 100 Tuxedo jackets now unless I grow six more bodies some may never be worn again, so what to do with it?.

Some designers apparently pay for their original designes to put in their archive, you can put them on Ebay and get 50 pence. What has just been suggested is that I go into rehab to stop shopping. Now thats a vile idea. I don't take cocaine, heroine, E's, ketamine, alcohol or grass so please leave me alone with my love for clothes.

Sensible shoppers should find their designer and stick with it, with one key piece per season, one winter jacket or one coat. Be a savvy shopper, Go to Harvey Nichols and Browns where the buyers are imaginative. Cruise collections are often cheaper. When a dress is worn to death take it to The Charity shop, Oxfam or Red Cross. Personal Shoppers are tricky and always go to one whose dress sense you admire. Flick through magazines, take note throw it away, and don't look too 'put together', it looks cliche, and you look like everybody else.

Going back to the old clothes. The disasters, my beige pink leopard and flowery jacket of Dolce Gabbana should immediately go to the Red Cross for some teenager to love it, wear to death and be pleased that I made the huge flowery mistake .

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