Thursday, 14 May 2009

FACE THE FACT I AM FAT

I have dieted now to my certain knowledge for forty years and I can't do it anymore. The only thing is, I went into Dr Sebagh,my ex lover's surgery for a little mid life touch up with Botox, and was told I was a little fuller. This has sent me into a panic attack and I'm weighing myself 15 times a day.. I can't believe the scales - they are saying 62.5 kilos, but hopefully, as we are in France, and the French all lie, they are completely wrong. I have made every person entering the room weigh themselves. I have gone on my strict meat only diet, which makes me stink, so I'm hoping that there is a modern day Napoleon out there who likes the smell of my pits. Whatever happens this is not going to last, the plump Marilyn has to go.

2 comments:

Lisa Borgnes Giramonti said...

You are NOT FAT!!

David Grove said...

I have a Napoleonic penchant for armpit-sniffing. Not long ago, when I thrust my snout into a woman's attractively stubbled and not-too-sweaty pit, she laughed and said, "No guy has ever done that to me before." So I'm sure you can find an atavistic Frenchman who'll spelunk your caves. Bonne chance.

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