Thursday, 14 May 2009


I have dieted now to my certain knowledge for forty years and I can't do it anymore. The only thing is, I went into Dr Sebagh,my ex lover's surgery for a little mid life touch up with Botox, and was told I was a little fuller. This has sent me into a panic attack and I'm weighing myself 15 times a day.. I can't believe the scales - they are saying 62.5 kilos, but hopefully, as we are in France, and the French all lie, they are completely wrong. I have made every person entering the room weigh themselves. I have gone on my strict meat only diet, which makes me stink, so I'm hoping that there is a modern day Napoleon out there who likes the smell of my pits. Whatever happens this is not going to last, the plump Marilyn has to go.


Lisa Borgnes Giramonti said...

You are NOT FAT!!

David Grove said...

I have a Napoleonic penchant for armpit-sniffing. Not long ago, when I thrust my snout into a woman's attractively stubbled and not-too-sweaty pit, she laughed and said, "No guy has ever done that to me before." So I'm sure you can find an atavistic Frenchman who'll spelunk your caves. Bonne chance.